


What we do is secret~

by BinBingBong



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Aromantic theme, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Romance, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Smut, Spies & Secret Agents, Strangers to Lovers, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, hints of polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2020-09-19 02:24:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 46,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20323543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BinBingBong/pseuds/BinBingBong
Summary: Shoot the target....Three words that ruined his lifeAnd it was always the same wasn't it,  A tragedy, A gunshot, shattered friendships, lost love... Hakyeon thought he was different. He was wrong





	1. Burning Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Shoot the target” 
> 
> those three words had ruined his life-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cross posted at aff

“I’ll give you one last chance, and only because we are friends, walk away” his eyes went dark as he held the gun aimed directly between his eyes. The moonlight illuminating the dark roof, casting incomplete shadows.

“I can’t do that, trust me, I don’t want to kill you either but it’s something I can’t help” the less tan man of the two answered, his gun also aimed to the man in front. The wind was cold and the weather unforgiving but both men were heated in the fire of rage, revenge, betrayal…. Disappointment

The other scoffed in reply “please, when do you _not_ want to kill someone” and shifted the weapon to his left hand, running the free hand in his hair “Tell me what’s wrong Shik and I can help, we don’t have to stand aiming at each other like this.” his eyes softened as he spoke those words but his gun unmoving. That was the thing about him, his posture was always relaxed, his voice unaffected, soft, soothing, his eyes understanding and sympathetic, but he was always ready, prepared “don’t call me that” he snapped

_“Shoot the target_” the voice in his ear piece snapped, sending a shiver down his spine.

“Wonshik, tell me what’s wrong and I can help you” the other man spoke stepping closer, his footsteps silent on the roof.

”_do not reply. Shoot. Or the kid dies. You have 30 seconds” _ and the line went dead. Wonshik knew that wasn’t an empty threat so he raised his gun, once more. The other man halted, eyes going wide

“shik…” but whatever he was about to say got cut off as the gun went off. Wonshik stood there as his victim went rigid, his gun dropping first, then he was on his knees. And Wonshik hated the way his eyes were still soft, full of confusion, still looking at Wonshik even as he collapsed on the floor. A river of blood already painting the surface. If he were someone else, they would never have been able to shoot him, but that’s what Wonshik was counting on, a bullet he would never see coming, never expecting to be shot by him…by Wonshik.

“I’m sorry hyung, you taught me better than this, I’m sorry” Wonshik whispered, his eyes watering as he knelt beside his victim

And the last thing his victim felt was a soft hand closing his eyes, before all went dark.

**6 years later**

It was simple today…well it was simple all the time for someone like him, but it was specially an easy target today for Wonshik. All he had to do was walk into a bar, pretend to be casual, look pretty enough for his target to notice him or if they didn’t, allow Wonshik to talk to them when he approached them and get what he needed as well. He would probably be offended that a task easy as this was a waste of his abilities but the target was said to be difficult. Wonshik didn’t understand, he had not seen the person, even though he knew the files for the two possible people who he would encounter in the bar were delivered to him weeks ago, but he didn’t bother to look. All he knew was if the target was female, she was blonde, tall and had a burn scar on her neck. And if it was the other one, he was brown haired, tall and _extremely handsome_ as described in the debriefing. Wonshik had his fair share of handsome people in his life, he was no stranger to beautiful men, but not all of them were targets he had to knock out so he could copy a certain contact from their phone.

Wonshik walked into the bar causal as he could. He was dressed appropriate so he didn’t get any looks, unlike any other places he walked into. His tattoos were one thing that stood out, his overall aura, as he was told, was another. He was 25, but no one believed that, he looked older than his age, especially in his work alias, or suits. Wonshik hated suits.

This was not his usual style. He did not work in crowds, and not only for the reason that he didn’t blend in. but according to Taemin, they wanted Wonshik specifically for this mission because it required his special skills. What skill? They didn’t say. Wonshik had a lot of skills, but he never bragged…

He was not only the best agent in his age group, he was pretty sure no special forces or agency had a more skilled sniper than him. Despite his agency, SM not being technically a special intelligence or spy force, they were a more public agency under government's control, guardians for the people, smiling faces that people could count on to protect them and Wonshik was one of them. He was just that good.

Other than that, he was also a good assassin but that was off the books.

This club target didn’t require any of those skills or any of his hacking skills either. So that left his bad boy charisma… that was probably what they were counting on. Wonshik figured whoever his target was; they were into bad boy type so his boss thought it would be appropriate to send him.

Wonshik never tried to be the bad boy type, it was the truth, but he was told he gave off that vibe with his tattoos and all. Wonshik’s tattoos weren’t some ink play, they had meaning, each of them, he didn’t care if not everyone saw that though.

The music was not that loud and Wonshik appreciated that, he was never into loud music not when he had a goal in front. He appreciated loud music that was actually music, not just a match of shouting and high notes. The light were dimed and it was late enough that the couples on the sofas or the dance floors had started getting touchy. Wonshik was unfazed, scanning the crowd for his target. He half expected them to be grinding up against someone but hoped that they were alone, so it would be easier for him.

Maybe he should have looked at the pictures, because now in this crowd of a few dozen people he was lost. The lights weren’t ideal to spot a woman among many with a scar, and he couldn’t spot any _extremely handsome _guy either. He was just about to give up and call Taemin or whoever was at desk duty tonight to send him pictures, when he spotted someone leaning on the bar, a drink in front, but the man had hardly drank any of it, even though Wonshik couldn’t see anything past the wide shoulders and a tall body, dressed in navy blue three piece suit that looked like it cost more than the annual salary of a daily office employee, there was something striking about the guy, not that he didn’t belong here, he looked like he fit right in, and it took a few minutes for Wonshik to realize that the _off_ thing was the ring,…silver, a simple circle on the man’s right hand’s index finger.

Which should be odd if Wonshik didn’t know the particular group they were dealing with had this as identification. A silver ring on their index finger. And it would be too much of a coincidence that a man, shows up at a bar wearing a silver ring of the particular finger by accident when Wonshik was sent there just to spot exactly _that_ kind of person.

Gulping down his drink in one stroke Wonshik got to his feet, slowly passing the dance floor, sparing a few smiles to the girls that giggled at him, and made his way to the empty stool next to the prey. Wonshik ordered a drink, and made no move to show that he was interested, in return the other man didn’t spare him any glances either, his back even turning a bit more so that Wonshik had absolute zero view of the face to confirm his target, but he had a good feeling that this was it.

It wasn’t even 5 minutes past when Wonshik turned his head to listen in on the phone call that his target was engaged in, a particular sentence catching his attention

“I shouldn’t have let you dump me here” the guy said and Wonshik wouldn’t say he wasn’t surprised at the deepness in his voice, it would have even been hot, the way he was whispering into the phone with that deep voice, only if it didn’t mean his target was probably a tough one. If his voice was any indication. _Please don’t let it be some kind of gangster or dealer_ Wonshik hoped, but the shoulders were wide enough for both possibilities

“no one is here hyung, whoever you set me up with is not coming, can I go home now” the other man said and Wonshik imagined he was pouting at the last part. That made him smile automatically

“ok, this one night stand plan of yours has failed, I’m leaving. See you at work tomorrow?” the brown haired man said an after a few seconds he was tucking his phone in his jeans.

This was his moment, Wonshik decided, before the other moved to stand he spoke, voice high enough to be heard over the speakers.

“friends, huh” Wonshik wasn’t looking at the man but on his drink instead, pretending to act normal but he could see in the corner of his eyes that the man turned his head and body to Wonshik. He got his attention.

“excuse me?” the reply came with genuine surprise.

Wonshik lifted his glass up to take a sip before turning his head to the side and he was sure at that moment…..time had stopped….

In front of him, sat the most beautiful….creature?... man? Wonshik had ever seen in his life. And that was something because he’d seen many handsome men and was pretty sure that the description of his prey tonight was just over exaggeration but _boy_ was he eating his words now. The man was….ethereal to say the least, perfect jaw line, perfect nose, big doe like eyes, that weren’t just blue because of the lights, the most beautiful pair of blue eyes Wonshik had ever seen, or will ever see….brown hair falling on the beautiful man’s forehead, some strands getting in his eyes. The blue eyes and brown hair in contrast to his beautiful pink skin, and if Wonshik was gapping right now, he wouldn’t blame himself.

If he had known his target was some godly creature he would have had someone else come because he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to resist the man. It was a shame he had to knock him out.

“uh…did you say something?’ the man’s deep but slow voice snapped him out of his gaze making is remember that he was on a mission. He was quick to shake himself back into reality

“I’m sorry I listened into your phone call” he managed to say without shuttering aware that he was still looking at the other man’s face…his sculptured face. “I was forced by friends to go out tonight too, so I know how it feels like to have meddling friends” Wonshik smiled playing his card. He was back into game mode but it was hard to not stare at the other’s face and deliver his lines smoothly.

“ah” the other man said with realization, sitting back completely on the stool and Wonshik hadn’t even realized he was half standing this whole time.

“I wouldn’t say I was forced, I was actually looking forward to my meet up but they didn’t show” the other man said, smiling bit and Wonshik was sure he gasped out loud because his smile came with a pair of two beautiful inch deep dimples. If Wonshik thought this man was godly before….he was definitely trying to find a word higher than that right now.

“That’s...That’s a shame” and damnit Wonshik shuttered. It was extremely unfair that the guy was gorgeous, Wonshik was unable to keep his cool, and wasn’t sure how long it would be before he blew it. This has never happened to him before.

“maybe I can buy you a drink?” Wonshik was struck by those words because he wasn’t expecting his prey to submit themselves (not knowingly) this was gonna be extremely easy if this kept up.

Wonshik was starring he knew but the other man made no indication that he noticed, or if he did, he wasn’t affected. “I’m Hongbin” he said extending his hand towards Wonshik that he took easily. _Hongbin’s _hand were so cold, like a block of ice, but so soft, Wonshik noticed eyes not leaving the other’s face.

Their hands stayed like that for a moment before Hongbin pulled away. The thud of the glass on the counter in front of him once again pulled Wonshik out of his haze. He realized he hadn’t introduced himself back. “I’m Wonshik. Nice to meet you” he said, realizing moment later that this was wrong.

He wasn’t supposed to give his real name. He wasn’t supposed to give his code name either. If they really were dealing with the organization his higher ups thought they were, Wonshik’s real name being revealed would not only dent their plans, but also put him and his closed ones in danger. Wonshik mentally cursed taking the drink in his hands. This was bad. For the first time in months, ever since the hunt for the missing files and passcodes had started and his people infiltrated several places to get them, Wonshik wished that Hongbin’s people weren’t the ones they were after and it was another false lead. Otherwise, the scolding he was about to get was nothing compared to what might happen if his real name was used against the organization. Not to mention there were people Wonshik wanted to protect that would be in danger with his name out in the open. Well at least he didn’t give his last name, but the relief wasn’t satisfactory.

“so, were you stood up too?” Hongbin asked and all Wonshik could do in reply was watch hongbin’s lips move, trying to be as subtle as possible. With the little alcohol in his system, it wasn’t possible for someone strong as Wonshik to be in such a daze. It was ridiculous but it was safe to say that the man in front of him was doing strange things to him, with his pink beautiful lips, blue round eyes, perfectly styled up hair, the perfect height to match Wonshik’s own. Wonshik wanted nothing more than push Hongbin up the nearest wall and get his mouth on the other man’s, and then some.

it was really a shame he wouldn’t get to do that. Or at least not as much as he wants. Chances were he’d never see Hongbin again and it was a disappointment he had to knock him out. If Wonshik wasn’t careful of his mission and understood the importance of this, he wouldn’t have hesitated to throw the mission away and get what he wants. Hongbin under him, as Wonshik wrecked the living breathe out of him until he was a mess screaming Wonshik’s name from those beautiful lips of his. 

"you can say that” he tried not to let the amusement show on his face when the other man turned to face him on the stool.

“that’s a shame” Hongbin replied- whispered, tracing the rim of his glass with his finger, so slow and oh how tempting that movement was. The way his finger, his beautiful pale finger moved in round and another round around the glass, and all Wonshik could think of was how that finger, that hand would feel on his body, tracing his chest. Just when he thought he couldn’t feel more turned on, Hongbin dipped his finger , just 1/3rd of it in his drink, and put it in his mouth. 

Wonshik was now highly aware of the growing problem in pants and now more than ever wished that he could just dump the mission and be selfish for a while.

But no, he was a professional

“I feel bad for whoever stood you up-” Hongbin said, giving half a smile that looked too innocent to be true “you look like a fun person” and Wonshik chocked on his own saliva.

“w-what” what was wrong with him today, he never gets embarrassed or flustered, especially not by a simple _that could potentially be innocent _remark

And Hongbin laughed, cocking his head to one side, and it was the most beautiful sound Wonshik had ever heard. The way one of his dimples popped and his eyes squeezed into half-moons, and oh that perfect teeth.no matter if Hongbin was trying to seduce him before, this was genuine amusement on his face “your ears are red” he said still smiling and Wonshik was now afraid of how deep he was falling into this trap and it had hardly been 10 minutes since he knew Hongbin existed.

“no- really “ Hongbin began, a little disbelief in his voice “I only said you were fun, why did you get so surprised, has no one ever complimented you before?” he grinned, teasingly and Wonshik wanted to throw him on the nearest wall and wipe that grin off with his lips.

“that was a compliment?” Wonshik raised his eyebrow, trying to at least save a little of his dignity

“why, did you think I was trying to seduce you” he shot back immediately

“oh, so you made a show of your finger and put it in your mouth, licking it like that all so innocently?’ Wonshik challenged, smile never leaving his face and a voice at the back of his head told him he was slipping away from his goal. Hongbin smiled, oh so innocently and purely, and at the moment he could have passed as an angel if only he had wings “well, if so, how about we innocently leave and have some fresh air outside?” he threw the bait, turning his game up and when Hongbin nodded at him, just a little movement of his head, Wonshik felt bad. He enjoyed this little time, it was a shame it was soon to be over.

“sure, isn’t that why you approached me in the first place” Hongbin said, casually and Wonshik’s eyes widened. Did he give it away? did Hongbin caught him? Was this a trap? Did he fail?

“you’re gapping again” Hongbin said, informant. “don’t worry, I’m not blaming you. we were both lonely tonight, come” he said, offering him his hand and Wonshik took it , absently. Hongbin tugged him through the crowd as he followed on his feet, trying to put his mind back into function mode, he couldn’t mess this up, he tried to clear his head so he could finish the job. No matter how much it saddened him.

He found himself in the alley at the back of the club and he took his chance, jumping in the moment, all his senses and gears turning. Hongbin tucked him along but Wonshik decided to stop following the other man and grabbed his wrist by his other hand. Hongbin stopped in his track, turning to look at him. Wonshik pulled him by the grip on his wrist and gently, but quickly threw him to the nearby wall. Hongbin looked stunned at the action, but quickly smiled again when Wonshik pressed himself to him. One of his hand sliding on Hongbin’s waist, very small, waist he noticed and the other gripped his shoulder. Hongbin made no move to grab him in anyway, only looking at him, like he was challenging him. And that simple expression was so tempting that Wonshik threw himself in the moment, to kiss the other- but his lips never met Hongbin’s. He opened his half shut eyes to see what had happened only to find a finger on his lips, the only object between their lips. His eyes moved from the finger to Hongbin’s eyes but didn’t find anything there. He was about to ask why but Hongbin quickly switched their positions so that Wonshik was pressed to the wall.

He didn’t move any more, staying mere inches away from Wonshik’s body, and Wonshik could beg for some contact right now.

While he was fighting to keep his erection from growing any harder, another part of his brain was running option and scenarios. The alley was too bright and a lot of passers, it wouldn’t be a good idea to hit Hongbin to unconsciousness. His mind went to the syringe in his jacket pocket. If he could get Hongbin cornered a bit, it would be easy to press it at the pulse point.

The other man moved his hands to grab Wonshik by the shoulder and Wonshik gasped when Hongbin’s thigh pushed his legs apart to press between them, ridding him of all thoughts. Wonshik wanted to grind against it to gain more friction but Hongbin was too quick in his next movement. Moving forward, pressing his chest to Wonshik, Hongbin ducked his face down to breathe at Wonshik’s neck. The small puffs of air went right to Wonshik’s growing erection that wasn’t getting fair amount of friction. Hongbin’s face moved until he was next to Wonshik’s face and he gasped once more when Hongbin grazed his ear lobe with his teeth, slowly licking, cat like licks at his ear lobe.

His hand moved to his pocket to feel the needle in the pocket, Hongbin's neck laid bare in front of him, he looked around, too many people- if Hongbin made a sound. _Not quite the time yet he told himself_

Hongbin was teasing Wonshik and Wonshik couldn’t do anything about it, he never did it like this, always fast and rough, getting himself to relief. This felt too much, it was a whole new feeling Wonshik had never experienced, teasingly slow but so so good. Hongbin’s mouth moved back to his neck where he ran his tongue at Wonshik’s throat and he gulped. His legs were ready to give out and he would have been on the floor if not for Hongbin’s leg between him, which he was slowly grinding against his crotch now, Wonshik noticed.

It was getting harder to control his senses.

His breathe came in ragged gasp as Hongbin sucked on his sensitive skin of his throat hard enough to leave bruises and damn it this was not in the plan. Wonshik wasn’t the one supposed to be losing his brains; he should be weak one right now. He needed to turn this around somehow but oh god, he didn’t want to. His grip on the syringe loosened and his hands wrapped around the smaller man.

He wanted to give himself bare to Hongbin, he wanted Hongbin to take him right here and right now until he was screaming Hongbin's name. It was so hard to think of the mission, he kept pushing it in and out of his brain as Hongbin sucked a few more times, his hands travelling lazily at his chest.

Wonshik wrapped his hands around Hongbin waist, pulling him by force to press even more against him. Once he moved his hand to grab at Hongbin's belt, Hongbin halted. Stopping his mouth on his neck and Wonshik wondered if he was too forward. He didn’t know since when he started to care but he was afraid of scaring him off. For more than just the sake of his job

“not here” he whispered, his breathe sending shivers down Wonshik’s spine and that little deepness of his whisper doing something to him. Wonshik looked at him, with question he didn’t know which, in his eyes and Hongbin replied, reading his face instantly. “I have a car at front”

Once again, Wonshik found himself being dragged by the gorgeous man, to the front where a black Mercedes was parked not far front the club.

Wonshik head screamed at him that this was a bad idea, to get this lost in the moment, this wasn’t supposed to go this far. Wonshik needed to stop him, NOW, before it became harder.

Wonshik’s growing erection wasn’t helping at all in the quest of getting back to his senses

The knock out – he was stopped from his thought

One moment Hongbin was opening the back door of his car, the next Wonshik was pushed inside it and Hongbin crawled on top of him. His head hit the window glass with a _thunk_ as he dimly registered Hongbin closing his side of the door. Wonshik sat up from his laying position to take Hongbin's face in his hands, to take the game back into his hand. And just when he was about to press his lips to the other’s, he was rejected for the second time this night. Hongbin lightly moved his face to the side.

Wonshik watched in surprise as Hongbin once again started sucking into in neck and Wonshik jolted up with a gasp when Hongbin bit down on his collar bone. His erection pressed into Hongbin's thighs and he noticed that the other man wasn’t hard, or at least not as much as him. He felt his cheek color with embarrassment so he slid his hands down Hongbin's back, slightly putting his fingers under the waist band of his pants. Hongbin gasped the tiniest of sounds before pinching Wonshik’s clothed nipple making him squeak.

Wonshik maneuvered his body in the tiny space so that Hongbin was underneath him, looking up with his beautiful doe eyes, and licked his lips teasingly slow. Wonshik moaned at the sight and Hongbin smirked, satisfied with his reaction.

“scared?’ he asked, challengingly making Wonshik forget for a moment of he was and where, of what his purpose was here.

“don’t try me gorgeous or else I’ll make you scream so loud that the windows will shatter”

“you? really?” he quirked an eyebrow, smirking “and I guess it wasn’t you who was gasping and moaning in my arms for the past 20 minutes” Hongbin wanted to get a raise out of Wonshik and he succeeded. Wonshik growled, he wanted nothing more than bend Hongbin over at something and wipe that smirk off his gorgeously perfect face until he was crumbling in his arms . 

“oh you’ve done it now” Wonshik growled in Hongbin's ear, his lips gently sucking at the ear lobe. his hands were moving of their own accord under Hongbin's shirt and one of Hongbin's hand was thrown over his shoulder.

Wonshik gasped, audibly when, in the matter of seconds, Hongbin’s hand found its way into his jeans and wrapped around his length, and for that one second, everything was perfect

And at the next second -

“maybe next time” Hongbin's voice came from somewhere far away and Wonshik pulled back, grabbed the side of his neck where something prickled.

And his vision got blurry

_Fuck-_

The last thing he registered was Hongbin's face, flat and absent of any emotions or expression before he fell on what was probably Hongbin's chest and everything went dark


	2. Diving down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If everything went smoothly, they’d be back by sundown.
> 
> If everything went by plan, they’d be back home by the next month.
> 
> \- but things rarely went how they were planned - this time was no exception

Hongbin walked out of the en-suite bathroom, rubbing his head with the white towel before carelessly tossing it on the bed. He walked to the dressing table and removed the cheap silver ring from his index finger and tossed it aside, it had served its purpose and Hongbin didn’t want to wear that stupid thing anymore, especially when it was an identification of a criminal group, Hongbin didn’t know which neither did he care. He took a moment to look at his reflection in the mirror before strolling out of the room. There was an hour left before the sun set and the sky as hue and beautiful this time of the day. Hongbin made his way to the kitchen pouring himself a glass of water as he looked around. It hadn’t been more than a week since they came to Seoul and Hongbin was still getting used to everything. The penthouse they were living in was more than luxurious and comfortable than Hongbin expected. Of course he didn’t expect to live in a shady hotel room but he hadn’t known the apartments wouldn’t look much different here in Korea than in US. The walls were sky blue in color giving the place a wider and open look then it already was. Two bedrooms were on one side of the house, both with their own kind sized beds and attached bath. The kitchen was big enough but they didn’t really cook so it didn’t matter. The lounge was a really wide place with a comfortable sofa bed in front of the giant TV. The other two sides of the room were tainted glass with a door to one side that lead to a wide balcony with the perfect view to the city. The glass front were accompanied by thin curtains that moved by remote control. Just like almost everything else in the place. Hongbin wondered how much a day cost while making his way to the balcony door. It didn’t really matter, money was something they had above anything else. Both him and Hakyeon were loaded enough to rent expensive places for a hundred more people if they wanted.

Hongbin found Hakyeon exactly where he thought he would. The older man was still in his suit, leaning on the metal railing looking down 20 stories where the hotel pool was. Hongbin knew he had no interest in the view. He was just sorting is thoughts.

“you didn’t shower yet?” Hongbin moved, leaning the railing following Hakyeon’s line of sight.

“ah you’re out. I was just going” Hakyeon said snapping out of his daze smiling at the younger man in front. Hongbin could see the black circle under his eyes even in the dim light. All this travelling and stress was not doing good for his skin.

Hongbin wordlessly handed the glass of water to Hakyeon, leaning on the railing on his back. They had to talk but if Hakyeon wasn’t ready he wouldn’t push it, but he wished to get over with it

“thanks love” Hakyeon smiled finishing his water putting the glass down on the wooden chairs on his side. Hongbin smiled in return. His yes must have given his curiosity away because Hakyeon took a deep breath. “It went well, the contact was right. We called it and they recognized the voice. We’re on the right track” Hakyeon said, looking back at the sky.

“and why are you looking so down if that’s the case” Hongbin had more than a few guesses why the older was like the way he was for the last week ever since they got here, but Hakyeon hadn’t said anything yet to confirm.

“It’s just –“ Hakyeon sighed “-this and that”. He had been avoiding the topic Hongbin had noticed, he wouldn’t push it

“How about this, you go shower and I’ll call and see what they have on the menu. Let’s eat before going over this week’s plan, hm?” Hongbin was satisfied when Hakyeon’s down expression turned into a smile as he nodded. They both detached themselves from the railing.

“get some wine too, nothing too strong though, I want to relax tonight” Hakyeon asked, tilting his head to appear cute enough. Hakyeon was aware Hongbin would put up some restraint on drinking on a work night but when Hongbin nodded immediately, Hakyeon beamed. Hongbin knew the week was hard on the other, so he went along. Hakyeon propped himself putting one hand on hongbin’s shoulder, leaning in to kiss the younger’s lips softly before tapping his shoulder and going inside. Hongbin let himself smile before going inside.

**∞**

Hongbin rolled around, detaching himself slowly from Hakyeon’s grip, careful not to wake the older, as he sat up. His mind was still clouded when he slid the answer option on his phone. He knew who was calling so there was no bother for any greetings. Hongbin hummed, rubbing his eyes

“the south team is back. Now we can put the man out according to the files. Come over at noon to go over the final plans” the man on the other line spoke, flat and plain.

“Hongbin sighed, the easy parts were over, now was the nerve wrecking part. But that also meant the sooner this was over with the sooner they could leave. “Okay, we’ll be there” he replied throwing the sheets off

“car?” the question came

“no, thanks” he replied before cutting the line off. There would be no more sleep today. He moved to the top of the bed, lifting the phone and pressing the buzzer. The reply was almost immediate and robotic even if the woman on the other line was human. Hongbin ordered them both breakfast. Toast with chocolate syrup. Syrup was for Hakyeon, he liked everything sweet.

Hongbin moved to lift his shirt up from the floor where it was discarded last night, pulling it over his head. He moved back to the bed. Hakyeon was still fast asleep. They both didn’t have much to drink last night but Hakyeon was sleeping very heavy ever since they got here. He was really tired lately. Hongbin felt bad to wake him up

“Hyung” Hongbin whispered pressing his lips to the older’s shoulder. When Hakyeon didn’t respond, Hongbin trailed small kisses up to the tan man’s neck before pulling his ear lobe lightly with his teeth. Hakyeon shuddered and Hongbin smiled to himself.

“hyung, wake up. Let’s eat” he tried again when the older turned his position away from him.

“Not hungry” he mumbled but already turning to Hongbin. Hongbin hummed, kissing softly on the older’s forehead, then on his eye lids before allowing him to open his eyes. Hakyeon smiled softly “good morning” Hongbin said before moving back a bit, slowing space for Hakyeon to sit up, but he remained at his place.

“I already ordered, go fresh up” just as Hongbin was about to turn to get off the bed, Hakyeon pulled on his shirt almost making him fall with all his weight on the older. “hyung” Hongbin whined, propping himself up, but before he could move Hakyeon was already pulling him roughly by his shirt collar. Smashing their mouth together. Hongbin gasped but melted soon after.

Hakyeon tilted his head, deepening the kiss as his hands slowly snaked up under hongbin’s shirt. Hongbin moaned into his mouth when Hakyeon slowly ran his fingers on his back, and smiled at the reaction. Hongbin sensed this was more than just a small make out session, judging by the way Hakyeon was moving his tongue in his mouth. Last night had been a blur with the alcohol in their systems so he guessed Hakyeon was in the mood for morning sex. As much as Hongbin loved the idea, they had to leave soon. He pushed lightly on the older’s chest, enough force that Hakyeon broke the kiss, and retrieving his hands from hongbin’s back resting them on his waist.

“Not in the mood?” Hakyeon asked titling his head in confusion. His lips were already red and swollen, shining and inviting but Hongbin resisted the urge to continue where they left.

“It’s not the mood but the time that’s the problem” he smiled, propping himself on his elbow, lifting his weight off the other. “We got a call, the want us there by 10. The teams are ready to head out” Hongbin explained as Hakyeon sat up, taking in the words quickly.

Hakyeon clicked his lounge, running a hand through his messy blonde locks. He looked beautiful all the time but if Hongbin had to choose, he would definitely pick mornings as when Hakyeon look the most beautiful. Today was no exception, with the little sunlight seeping in from the light purple curtains, and the Red ceiling bulbs, Hakyeon with his messy blonde hair, his lips rep and puffy, his tanned skin uncovered, he looked gorgeous. He leaned in on his knees to capture his lips in a light chaste kiss, and felt Hakyeon sigh in it.

“Tonight” he promised “let’s get this done and I’ll make you feel good tonight” he pushed himself off the bed and Hakyeon followed, pulling up his jeans.

If everything went smoothly, they’d be back by sundown.

If everything went by plan, they’d be back home by the next month.

**∞**

Hongbin entered the elevator followed by Hakyeon who kept fiddling with his cuffs for some reason. He looked nervous, but if he showed the reason to it, Hongbin didn’t notice it was a big deal, what happened today. The only reason they had both came from US to Korea was because of this mission. After Hongbin had confirmed that SM agents were after their men, it was clear that they were right on track. The ties were all matching, _Wonshik’s_ phone gave them all the proof they needed. All they had to do was slip one of their agents inside SM as a precaution, pick up the shipment from the docks, and see what information their team from japan that came back today had. Once all there were done, the remaining agents were to be sent back. Meaning Hakyeon and Hongbin would be back home, back to the US branch of HEX. Hongbin wouldn’t admit it, but he missed home, he may have been born in Korea but it always felt foreign to him whenever he visited, it wasn’t that he didn’t fit in, his face or language weren’t anything different from a normal Korean, his accent may be a bit sharp compared to the others but nothing that stood out.

Aside from that, he knew Hakyeon was uncomfortable being back here. This was Hakyeon’s home for 22 years, but after he ran away from Korea, he only came back once, without Hongbin, and when he came back to US after 3 months, he was weird. Whatever had happened here with him 2 years ago had shaken the older up. It was the only thing he kept from Hongbin in their 5 years of friendship until now. If Hakyeon was not happy about coming here 2 years ago, he was definitely worse this time around. One more reason Hongbin wanted to leave, he hated seeing Hakyeon distressed or sad and it was definitely sadness he was seeing on the older these last few day. Hongbin had a feeling it had something to do with the reason he actually ran away from Korea in the first place. He knew a bit about it, how there were Feds after him, and he was betrayed by his own partner and agency.

“stop that hyung” Hongbin said, tone little scolding but soft nevertheless. Hakyeon had a habit of picking on his nails with his fingers whenever he was nervous or worried about something, resulting in multiple broken nails from the force he applied, or just swollen finger tips from when he picked on the skin surrounding the nails.

“sorry” Hakyeon whispered, eyes outside on the road, Hongbin had rejected a pickup because he wanted to have a chance to talk with Hakyeon out in the open air. They had already rented a car when they got here, Hongbin didn’t like relying on others for anything and he liked driving on Seoul’s roads.

“are you scare something will go wrong?” Hongbin tried, he knew that was far from the case, even if something did go wrong it wasn’t on them. They had done their part right.

“no”

“missing home?”

“no”

“Lisa?”

“I broke up with her months ago, binnie”

“but you’re allowed to miss her”

“no, not missing anyone from home” Hakyeon sighed, sitting straight on his seat, Hongbin put his hand on the older’s thigh, one hand still on the wheel “did you have friends when you lived here?” Hongbin knew the answer to the question.

“In middle school, I had a lot of friends, in high school I was too busy with work and missed a lot of classes so I didn’t make many, but I was close to a junior student, until he ran away from school and I didn’t see him again until….’ Hakyeon stopped. This was the first time Hongbin had heard of the junior student. He was surprised; Hakyeon usually told him his stories with his friends or how he got into the agency and started his training, or how hard it was to keep his job a secret. Sometime he would tell him a bit about the hardships of the job, when everyone was dating or struggling to pass exams, Hakyeon was learning how to hack his way through security or where to hide blades so he could escape if caught. When Hongbin asked if he ever regretted being an agent Hakyeon always shrugged, saying there’s nothing in life that’s good all the time, but he liked his job as a spy. It was dangerous, but the thrill of it was what Hakyeon loved. They were same in that regard. Hongbin wasn’t the same kind of spy Hakyeon was, he wasn’t a _field agent_, as they called it, he didn’t get sent undercover for months or had to work as hotel employee or driver to gather information, but Hongbin also loved the thrill that came with his job. He loved sneaking in buildings, breaking passcodes, hiding under plain sight, using the cool gadgets, waiting on the rooftops after finishing his assignment for pick up, the sound of the helicopter when his team successfully escaped after an infiltration along with the adrenaline rush. Most of all he loved it when he was on the retrieval team that picked the agents back up from their undercover jobs, he loved seeing Hakyeon’s face after weeks when they would meet on rooftops or parking lots. The happiness of a mission well done and the joy of seeing Hakyeon again was always worth the long days they spent apart. Hongbin loved it all.

“I didn’t see him again, but other than that I had no real friends in high school” Hakyeon said, mildly sad. Hongbin wondered what it was about, a friend he’s never heard of, someone that made Hakyeon sad.

“you ever looked for him, if he disappeared?” Hongbin tried. Maybe he could help he thought.

“he didn’t disappear” that was all Hakyeon had to say, it made hongbin’s stomach turned, maybe it was jealousy, or just plain sadness that Hakyeon was missing someone. Hongbin wanted to fix it but he couldn’t, he knew. The faster they left Korea, the better he though, Hakyeon was rarely sad.

The rest of the ride went in silence, Hakyeon didn’t talk which was unusual for him but Hongbin knew better than to keep asking . The silence wasn’t so bad either.

**∞**

“I liked your lenses” Hakyeon said, grinning at the younger as they both put their hands on the scanner.

“What?” Hongbin asked, laughing, at the sudden statement putting his eye in the scanner to confirm his identity. The doors opened after a few second.

“yeah, blue eyes suit you, you looked beautiful” they both slowly walked down the corridor to the meeting room.

Hongbin just laughed again “hyung, those were recording lenses, you know”

“I do, but you looked hot in them”

“you’re getting ideas” Hongbin narrowed his eyes at the older, a playful smile on his lips

“yup! when we’re done with this, let’s get you some blue lenses. I want to see what you look like when you look at me with blue eyes as I fuck you” Hakyeon had said it so casually but Hongbin chocked on his own saliva at his words. “hyung” he whined pouting at the older, Hakyeon just laughed.

“I was really sad when I saw you took off the lenses right after you came back. I didn’t even see you properly in them” Hakyeon pouted in return putting his hand on yet another scanner. The security in these halls was ridiculously high, even more than what they had back home. "plus, do you really expect me to hold back when I've seen you in blue crystal eyes? That's ridiculous"

“wah, you’re really horny these days hyung, is the Seoul water waking up all your sleeping hormones” Hongbin joked, but it was true that they were having way more sex now that they were here, Hongbin figured it was Hakyeon’s way of putting his mind off things and to relieve stress, Hongbin wasn’t complaining in the least

“maybe you should dye your hairs too, blue would look great on you” Hakyeon whispered as they both entered the meeting room, and Hongbin kept himself from laughing, he would think about it.

“gentlemen” a man, that looked not over forty said from his seat motioning them both to their seats, Hongbin recognized a few of the people on the rectangular table, mostly the ones that came with them from US, the rest he didn’t know nor care.

“Kangin” Hakyeon greeted with no emotion in his voice. “I hope we aren’t too late?” they both sat on their spots, the men and 2 women on the table started fiddling with their papers or documents.

“Not too much” a deep voice, deeper than even hongbin’s said from the other side of the table making Hongbin look up. There sat a man with a smile that was mostly genuine on his face, he looked tall even from his sitting spot, his hair a light shade of red. “it’s nice to see you, Hakyeon” he added.

“you too, Chanyeol. It’s been a while, I almost forgot all your faces” Hakyeon said making all 12 people on the table smile of giggle. Hongbin should have known the atmosphere would be happy and nice, he was stupid to think they’d have some kind of intense meeting when Hakyeon was in the room, he always brightened moods and meeting all their former colleagues was sure to bring some laughs.

“we should all go out for drinks before you leave, who knows when we’ll see each other again” a girl, probably younger than Hakyeon, ginger haired and with a very warm smile said looking at the both of them.

“aw, did you miss me _Yeondo-ah_ ?” Hakyeon teased, dragging the name out, leaning on the table making his gooey eyes at her.

“I did, _Ha-dong_” she said, pouting, and Hongbin felt like dying at the cute faces both were making at each other. He gave Hakyeon a look at the name, questioning.

“ah, Eunji and I worked undercover together for a few months back when I was here, we worked under the alias of Kang yeon-do and Ha dong-jae, as waiters” Hakyeon explain catching the confusion on Hongbin’s face.

“you didn’t introduce your friend, Hakyeon” the girl, Eunji asked, smiling at Hongbin, if it was anyone else, they would have blushed at the smile, Eunji was beautiful and seemed nice, Hongbin noted.

“ah, binnie” Hakyeon gestured toward Hongbin, so he stood up bowing lightly from his spot. This was more like how these meeting actually went. “nice to meet you all, I’m Agent Lee Hongbin, technical division, 4 years in active walk-in service” he said with a light business like smile, reciting the words he said over and over a million times before.

Several _nice to meet you came_ at the same time as he sat down.

“He’s good looking” Chanyeol said and Baekhyun, his partner that Hongbin meet a few year back, elbowed him lightly and maybe Hongbin did blush this time around, just slightly. Hakyeon seemed to noticed his blush, and deliberately gave Hongbin one of his smiles that made Hongbin red from head to toe. If there was one person that made Hongbin feel butterflies with their smiles it was Hakyeon, even after years it never ceased to have effect on Hongbin.

“okay, that’s enough, let’s get this over with” Ryeowook, the leader of the team that came from US with them said, tapping lightly on the table with his pen and everyone turned their heads toward him. After a few more seconds of shuffling everyone fell silent, all attention towards Ryeowook who was looking into the tablet fixed in front of him on the table.

“okay, the E.X.I.D, the team we put undercover in Japan last year, finally came back after successfully finishing their mission. With the files they’ve gathered and now that their reports from 6 months ago that Chi-ang Co are definitely involved knee deep into the scam. With the new files the suspicion that two of Korea's providers are involved in that project” Ryeowook stood up, moving to the screen behind him pressing a button on a remote to light the screen up, the screen was blank. He moved his sight back to the lot of them, looking at them one by one until stopping at Hongbin.

“agent Lee confirmed 2 days ago, that SM is one of the agencies involved. Their agent that Lee encountered did not know of the fact but the contacts of his phones were helpful in confirming that our suspicion about SM were true”

“so, we know SM is involved, if we have enough evidence, hand it over to the FBI. SM has always been dirty in the dark but the government keeps letting them slide, those bastards got too much power sitting in the blue house” Kangin scoffed. Hongbin had heard the man had a temper, it seemed like he had a rash brain too.

“think with your brain, we can’t do that if they’ve got power in the big house” Ryeowook rolled his eyes looking tired, Hongbin assume d it wasn’t the first time he was dealing with Kangin’s rashness. "besides, our superiors want to deal with this by the book, before finding out who the other agency is, we cannot make any moves”

“also were not even sure if it is an agency, it could be some mafia group, or a terrorists organization” a black haired woman said and Ryeowook nodded.

“yes, that’s also a high possibility but first we will cut off the top suspects” he said pressing a button on the remote the screen lighted up with the image of a tall, almost 40 story building. “this is YJ chemicals and our next target. They are smarter than SM , even though they are only a multinational company, they are still more cautious than an intelligence agency which says they are into some dark stuff... so we cannot seduce one of their men” he continued, smirking at Hongbin "unfortunately" Hongbin smiled back. When the idea of sending Hongbin to a bar was brought up to _seduce_ the target, everyone had thought it was funny and not many believed it would work. That wasn’t how spies or agents normally worked after all, not their type of agents, they weren’t police or underground gangs, the most usual move would be to plant a tracker on a target or a receiver to either track their location or listen in on information. When it actually worked everyone had been surprised.

Hongbin raised his hand, Ryeowook raised his eyebrow at him but motioning him to talk anyway “if I may intrude, their agent wasn’t all stupid” Hongbin said earning all the attention in the room “I wrote this in my report but he was also undercover, SM was after someone, and they had direct Intel that the _someone_ would be at that place at that time”

“oh?’ Ryeowook and a few other’s in the room asked.

“did none of you read the report?” Eunji asked from her place, as surprised as Hongbin was.

“the reports weren’t for us to read, it wasn’t necessary, we only got told by the superiors to do what our next move required to but it looks like we should have read them” Chanyeol said, his expression all serious, it didn’t fit him.

“yes, I don’t know why no one thought it was important to point out but it was clear that the man I encountered was also looking for me, he approached me first, and even if I was wearing the ring to attract attention it wasn't because of the ring that he approached me, he knew someone would be there, ring or no. He did almost all the work not knowing that I was also after him. It was a two way raid. He was out to get something from me, and I was there to steal his contacts” Hongbin said, everyone in the room stayed silent. Hongbin leaned in, folding his hands on the table “which means, someone from our side let them know about it. But they don’t look that high rank, their agent was under the impression that I was one of the lackeys of the gang just there for a night out, whoever tipped them off didn’t know much that is clear, they probably have the gang and us mixed though, they might even think we have the gang under us, with the info from our traitor and the ring on my finger they probably have a lot of confusion”

“it doesn’t matter if they didn’t know much, there’s either a traitor here or a spy, and that’s what we should be worried about” Hakyeon spoke after a while, his voice full of anger.

“but it’s not up to us to find out though, that’s probably why we weren’t informed of this. the person is low ranked, that means they aren’t one of us, we should however, keep this new information on the table but proceed with the next step” Kyungsoo spoke for the first time making all of them nod, he was a man of few words were always on point, one of the reasons why he was sent with them here was to keep the team in check, to make sure they don’t lose sight of the objective. Ryewook started talking again, explaining how they planned to slip two agent into YJ for at least a week and how they needed Hongbin out in the field tonight to hack through some of the security features so that they could accept fake ID’s of their spies. YJ had a higher security than most places so that made it difficult to bypass it remotely. Hongbin didn’t mind, all it would take was 20 minutes for him to sneak in one of the control rooms, add the security clearance credential’s for their men in the data base, sneak his way to an air vent and once he was on the roof, he would be home free. It had been a while since he had done hacking, he was excited.

“how are we getting him down from the rooftop, I mean, I know he has long legs but he cannot jump from a 42 story building” Sehun joked but it was a serious question, everyone turned their heads to Ryeowook, who looked at Kangin in return.

“I’m glad you asked” Kangin said standing up and walking towards a small table on the corner of the room. There sat a big thermopole box. What the man pulled out from that box made everyone frown. “It’s a grapple gun” Kangin explained making his way back. “we can’t send in air pick up for obvious reasons, and Lee cannot upset the stairs to come out front the front door, not without getting shot or worse, caught. He’ll be using this, to shoot a wire to the next building’s telephone tower” just as he said that a satellite picture of the two buildings, one YJ, the other that looked like an office building showed on the screen. The picture changed to an angel that showed the height difference between the two building, it wasn’t much, by 6-7 floors.

“don’t worry about the safely, the grapple beam is strong enough to hang two elephants” and Hongbin knew that wasn’t just words, they probably tested it by hanging elephants, the mental picture made Hongbin smile. “we also confirmed the tower is well wielded so you have nothing to worry about. How this works will be showed to you after the meeting is over” Hongbin nodded, leaning back in his chair, he was excited, finally some action after weeks, he thought.

“why Hongbin?” it was Hakyeon’s voice, Hongbin had almost forgotten the older was even in the room, too caught up in his own thoughts

“what?” Ryeowook turned his head from the screen, looking surprised at the question. Hongbin wasn’t much surprised; he expected something like that from Hakyeon. Considering how over protective he was.

“why are we sending Hongbin there of all people?” Hakyeon said, slight annoyance in his voice, leaning forward.

“the fact that these are orders should be the reason enough” Ryeowook said walking to sit back in his seat, his tone remaining neutral and Hongbin almost felt the anger rising in Hakyeon at the answer.

“since when are we ordered on who we send out in the field” Hakyeon was angry but kept his voice at neutral volume, Hongbin wanted to intervene but it wouldn’t do much except make Hakyeon angry at him too so he stayed silent

Ryeowook sighed “look, things work different here, things are striker here and we can’t go against orders, it doesn’t matter if we’re from another branch, we are still HEX agents and that means we follow orders from HEX superiors . Whatever you or I want doesn’t matter, it’s decided, they want our team to handle all of this and we only have one hacker on our team and that’s Lee, I don’t know why you’re against this though, he’s done more complex jobs than this, it shouldn’t be a problem”

“this is YJ we are talking about--” Ryeowook raised a hand to cut Hakyeon off.

“we’ll have two teams on look out, one in the front street across the main entrance and one on the back. There will also be people on the office building roof who will take him down once he’s on the roof, you don’t need to worry about the grapple, it’s tested and safe, he won’t fall. Whatever happens inside YJ depends on his performance and he’s never been caught before” Ryeowook said like stating the most obvious facts and Hakyeon was stupid to even be raising any questions. Hongbin saw Hakyeon slump back at that direct answer but when he opened his mouth to say something else Hongbin put a hand at the older’s shoulder making him turn to Hongbin. Hongbin shook his head and Hakyeon took a long sigh. He didn’t like this for whatever reason and if Hongbin wanted he could have been angry at the older or even offended that he didn’t think Hongbin could handle this task, but he knew Hakyeon better, his partner didn’t doubt him often and the worry on his face told Hongbin something else was bothering him.

He would ask about it later.

  


"I'm going with him" Hakyeon announced and Ryeowook rolled his eyes, Hongbin could see his patience wearing thin.

"the team has been formed already-"

"who's going in with him?" Hakyeon cut the other off raising an eyebrow at him

"no one, our men will be outside and on the landing roof, he's gonna be alone inside" Ryeowook supplied

"then I'll be on the other roof where he'll land, put me on that team" Hakyeon said, firmly and Ryeowook sighed, defeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nbin special chapter (how was it)- its a slow build but i'll try to make it less boring. 
> 
> ~there probably not much to comment about yet but leave me a line anyway? comments are my fav


	3. lingering shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "you can quit, spend your next few years hiding, until either someone gets to you when you’re least expecting it or you come back because you cannot stand and see the world falling apart from the side line when you know you have the power to make a difference"
> 
> There was no normal life for people like them.
> 
> They would hide forever scared of the shadows and silhouettes in the dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here enter agent Leo
> 
> this poster below took me hours to do and the quality died on upload. :(

Just two hours more, Taekwoon thought to himself snapping his neck and resuming typing. He had been stuck with desk duty for 4 days now and it was fair to say he hated it. It wasn’t quite often he got suspended but it was the first time they put him on desk duty. It wasn't actually desk duty to say, Taekwoon just had to sit out the week finishing the reports from his last mission, which he still had to do, suspended or not, but sitting in front of a screen for hours without any action was nerve wrecking, he wasn't even allowed to do his regular work-out or training. Taekwoon was already ready to shoot someone, this lack of action and fresh air was making him want to throw things but that would only expand his suspension so he was trying behave.

“Jung?” the voice came from the door, making Taekwoon snap his head to the direction jumping at the shut of the door. It was always quiet at late hours and his floor had a very few people’s offices, only the higher rank so there was always calm and quiet. It suited well with Taekwoon anyways, he didn’t like people and people didn’t like him, and the quiet almost made his hours in the building tolerable.

“you're still suspended?” Suho, another agent from Taekwoon's team stood there, looking like he was ready to drop on the floor and sleep, his hair all disheveled and suit crisped, but smiling warm as always.

Taekwoon nodded, he didn't try to be rude but he wasn’t just the one to talk much. Junmyeon meant well and Taekwoon respected him not only because he was a kind and nice person but also had a good reputation. With their line of work, there wasn’t much time to make friends or have conversations but the few times they had talked, Junmyeon, or Suho as he was known in the field, had always been kind with Taekwoon, always positive and he was good at giving advice. Thankfully all the people on Taekwoon's team were good people, not only nature wise by also good at their jobs. The reason they were on the highest ranking team of the agency, all of them had carried out some mission in the past that lead them here.

For Taekwoon, it was when he was stationed in north Korea 2 years ago and almost died coming back home with the news that_ yes_, their Navy _did _ have hidden sub-marries in Korean water’s and were planning on blowing up one of the China-SK cruise ship where leaders from both countries were to meet to discuss yet another partnership. Taekwoon didn’t care for the politics or the details or the mission, but his life and death run from the North Korea to South Korean border while there were done 7 troops after him saved the lives of at least 27 officials and probably prevented a war, earning him respect and the position he had today. Well-earned if he said so himself

And yet, he was here, sitting on a desk, in the tiny office room he rarely used. He felt trapped and useless.

"did you really kill the Council woman though? I know they put you under investigation but I don’t think they have any evidence" Suho inquired, sitting down on his chair putting the cup in his hand on the table, turning his chair to face Taekwoon

"no" Taekwoon answered, and Suho raised an eye at him not getting the signal that Taekwoon did not want to talk about this. it made him angry to know someone got to his target first not only ruining his mission but also the Council women didn't need to die if he could confirm that she didn't know anything. She would have probably been useful later on.

"they're only suspended me because of protocol, everyone can see she died from drinking that cocktail, someone messed with her drink right under her nose, if I was the one who killed her it would be by a dart, no?" Taekwoon raised his brow at the other man in the room in a way that said _you're stupid, it's clear that it wasn't me _

"so, at the gala, someone spiked her drink, only hers? While neither you nor she noticed and they suspended _you_?"

"they're just mad" Taekwoon shrugged "they wanted me to tail her, to find out if she knew anything, and if she knew anything that meant Choi and she had some connections, I was to kill her after confirming this, or if she was clear there would be no need to kill her, but I couldn't confirm because someone got there before" Taekwoon explained, maybe he shouldn't have been giving away this information but he didn't care. They didn't tell him to keep it confidential anyways

"also, they don’t want to admit it but this probably confirms it, Choi knew someone would come after her, he probably had his men watching her and when they saw me, they cut the loose end. this makes things complicated too" Taekwoon finished and Suho nodded , lower lip jutting out like he was in thought.

"but you're off this case now right?" he asked and Taekwoon nodded. He was glad, He always hated Choi and everything around him was always dirty and complicated, he was glad he would not be put on his tail anymore.

"ah well, good for you, hopefully your next mission is a better one, you always liked action missions better than stealth ones" Suho had said getting on his feet "G'night Jung, fighting!" he beamed at the younger and Taekwoon smiled back before he left the room. Leaving Taekwoon alone with his reports. Fucking reports!

As soon as he rolled back to face the screen the door opened abruptly again making him jump a little, he was ready to glare at the new comer when he saw that it was Suho standing there, hand on the handle. Taekwoon raised an eye in question but something about the other's expression made him nervous all of the sudden.

'did you hear though?" and Taekwoon was sure there was uncertainty in his voice, like he wasn't sure he should be having this conversation. "about Ken?" he added in a whisper and Taekwoon's eyes widened at the name his stomach dropped.

"what about him" he asked quietly, unsure if he wanted to hear it.

Suho bit his lower lip, looking down on the floor before looking back up after a few seconds of thought. "he's back" and Taekwoon was sure everything went dark in front on him, he barely heard the next words "I didn't see him but I heard this morning that he was back. No one knows the details but apparently he got released an year after...you know. But they didn't let him cross the border for another few months until last month. He only came here yesterday" Suho was saying but Taekwoon felt the voice coming from miles away, his head was spinning and there were so many emotions inside him right now that he felt like he could pass out. His grip on the Mouse tightened when Suho spoke next. "Eunkwang and Minhyuk saw him, they said he didn’t look good...he was angry" he was speaking in whispers but Taekwoon was hearing his voice like a hammering on his skull.

"I'm...sorry, I though you should know, I know you and Ken-" Taekwoon cut him off with a hand, still looking at his desk he managed to murmur "thank you Junmyeong" and the other took the sign and left him alone one more but not before murmuring a_ good night_ before leaving.

**∞**

Taekwoon's drive home was a mess. He almost got into an accident and left his door open after parking it, then had to go back mid-way to lock it when he remembered. He had to punch in the door code 3 times before finally managing the right entry. 

The corridor lit up in light blue light when he entered. He squinted at the lights before clapping once to shut them off. Taking off his shoes carelessly he made his way to the lounge, the lights there too lit u. he shrugged his jacket off and threw it on the couch, shuffling his feet towards the kitchen. He took his phone out at the same time picking up a glass to pour himself water.

The screen read; **5 missed calls- Irene**

Opening the screen lock he touched the dial option. The phone rang as he walked back to the lounge. While he slid the curtain open o his glass window the phone was received from the other side

_"darling?" _a soft voice said from the other side. Taekwoon smiled at her sleepy tone

_"did I wake you up?" _Taekwoon asked as he watched the city lights through the glass doors

_"it's 3, babe" T_aekwoon hadn't realized it was this late, he lifted his other hand up to squint at the Milky way watch on his wrist. He had turned the lights off , so it was hard to see the time in the dim light coming from the windows, illuminating the lounge with faint golden glow

_"are you home now, I called before, you didn’t answer"_

_"sorry" T_aekwoon whispered, it was genuine, eh was sorry, for not being able to give Irene any time these days_ "I was working, my phone was on silent"_

_"it’s okay" _there was sadness in her voice, Taekwoon felt guilty and not only because he didn’t answer the calls, he was sorry to her for a lot of things.

_"are you free this week?" _he asked and Irene hummed as in though on the other side

_"maybe, I'll let you know if I can take time off, why?" Ta_ekwoon could feel the amusement in her voice, it made him smile a bit too

_"let’s go out, it's been a while, I miss you"_

_"me too" Taekwoon_ could almost see her pout in front of his eyes _"I'll text you later?"_

_"mhm, sleep well"_

_"You too, baby "_

After a few seconds of silence, the only sound being Taekwoon's breathing

_"I love you" i_t was barely a whisper, if not for the quiet of the night, Taekwoon would never have been able to hear it. He hummed in response, a lump forming in his throat as he disconnected the call. He wanted to say it back, wished one day he would be able to say it back while meaning it, but in the far dark corner of his mind he knew, he knew that no matter how many more years pass, he would never be able to. For more than one reason. And that guilt ...was eating him inside, every time he heard the most beautiful woman in the world, someone who deserved the sun and the stars, whisper to him that she loved him, something inside him would break. He wasn't deserving of her...no, not after all he did, he wasn't the that should get to hold her, kiss her, protect her, she deserved more, she had more until Taekwoon took it all away from her. He couldn’t protect her or what was important to her. And even though he loved her a long time ago, nowadays, it was just guilt and a sense of duty he felt towards her. A debt. A chance to make it up. He hated himself for it. For not being able to love her.

It was his fault…

.

.

.

.

_"run woonie, just run, I'll be fine, you need to continue. It's all for nothing if we both get caught"_

_"no, I'm not leaving you, we'll figure it out, get out of this together-" h knew he wasn't thinking with his brain but this was not the way_

_"not without getting exposed!" the man in front of him, a couple years younger, shook his head, water drops dropping from his hair only to be replaced by more rain drops._

_"NO, I don’t know what they'll do to you-"_

_"woonie, look at me!" he squeezed his eyes shut when a hand turned his face from the side_

_"no" he hoped it would be this easy, just to shout no over and over and it would be alright_

_"LOOK AT ME FUCKING DAMNIT! I need you to get away, we cannot both fail, I'll make sure they don’t connect you with me, I'll make sure you can continue with the mission, just go to a safe place, stay hidden until it dies down"_

_"please, I cannot lose you like this, not you too"_

_"It'll be okay" he smiled, like it was all alright like they didn't have their lives hanging by a thread "I cannot promise you anything but you'll be okay, I know you will, you're so much stronger now, I need you to be strong, our country needs you to be…" a soft thumb wiped the tears streaming down on Taekwoon's face. Taekwoon stepped forward, pressing his forehead to his'. Looking directly in the other's eyes, and he kept smiling, it was probably the last time he would see this smile, a smile that saved him in his dark days._

_The shouting voices became closer, the sounds of running feet getting more and more loud_

_"Taek, take care of her for me? Take care of my flower? Don’t let her wilt over me?"_

_"no, promise me you'll get out of this, come back and take care of her yourself!" Taekwoon fairly shouted, squeezing the other's shoulder tighter _

_"promise me, you'll take care of her, please " and Taekwoon nodded and then he was being pushed back and the last thing he saw was those shining eyes and bright smile before he started running without looking back._

Taekwoon woke up with a gasp, panting heavily, sweat trailing down from his forehead even in the air conditioned room. It took him a few minutes to register that it was a dream, a memory, that it wasn't real, it wasn't raining, there were no one running after him…

Calming himself he pushed the blankets off, standing up, shuffling his feet in the slippers and making his way to the door before he heard the knock

no one ever visited him.

He had no one who would come over at this time of the night

None of his relatives knew where he lived

There was another knock and Taekwoon quickly walked to his bed side table to take put the gun he kept in the drawer before quietly leaving his room and crossing the lounge and corridor to stand at the door. There was no other sound from the other side, the only sound Taekwoon's own breathing and the faint beeping of the security system. Whoever was at the door wasn’t trying to get in or even make any noise considering how they didn’t even ring the bell. Taekwoon decided against calling out to ask who it is, he really needed to get a door camera. Putting the gun high enough at the height of his chest, he opened the door cautiously slow. His breathe caught when there stood a man, in a trench coat and top hat –_cliché-_ a stubborn voice in his head said. Taekwoon couldn’t see anything since the lights on his floor were off for some reason, he couldn’t even see the man's face but he dint feel in danger anymore after opening the door. Maybe the effects of his dream wore off or maybe it was the adrenalin. Or maybe the fact that he had a gun and the man wasn't doing anything...yet. Then it hit him.

A messenger.

This happened a few years back too.

he lowered his gun , stepping back to open the door wider.

"the slave and his Master" the man on the door whispered

"the pain and it's cure" Taekwoon completed in a similar whisper. The man moved to hand him a pen case. Taekwoon took it silently before closing the door silently.

Well, his suspension was over...

Of course it wasn’t a pen in the case. It was a USB, odd, Taekwoon thought. This wasn't how this usually went. It was either a tape or a disk. This USB was new.

Plugging it in his laptop, Taekwoon leaned back in the arm chair. He had already drawn the curtains and double checked all the security settings. There wasn’t any other living soul in the place.

These kind of messages usually had fail safes so Taekwoon wasn’t worried about traces being left in the laptop….he would check though, maybe this new kind of message didn’t have fail safe.

And checking his electronics for bugs was a routine for him so it was safe on all accounts

As soon as he plugged in the USB the while screen went dark, after another second the screen lit up asking for a password, Taekwoon typed in the digits, his assigned code for authorization.

"agent Leo" the automated voice started

"this is a message of utmost confidentiality and importance, please click next if you have taken the necessary measure to prevent any other hearing ears" odd, the messages usually didn’t ask anything like this too, but he clicked _next_ anyway 

"Contrary to what you may believe, this is not a mission from your agency, rather it's an individual activity for you that neither your team member or agency are aware of. If you choose to accept the mission, detail will be revealed to you and the identity of your employer will be revealed but not before"

Taekwoon squinted suspiciously. This was all way too weird

"14 months ago, the government tasked 2 super intelligence agencies in the country on the task of uncovering the secrets of the Japan secret project named TASK-_419\. _ those two agencies were HEX intelligence, a South Korean- American secret agent organization and CUBE Intelligent forces, another agency directly under the control of the Blue house and FBI. After 6 months, it was discovered by the joined efforts of both that the TASK 419 was an invisible air-craft project, under the watch of the world renowned technician, Yama Shira"

"This is no ordinary cloaking technology, while other invisible crafts can reduce electronic and thermal signatures to slip undetected by many radars, this new craft can terminate 99% of any signals and slip undetected from even the most powerful detection or pick-up dishes"

Several blue prints covered the screen, some looked like structure, others were just webs or structures Taekwoon did not understand.

"the air-craft carrier used RAM. Radar absorbent material with carbon toxide, with a thick layer of 32 cm, making it stronger in absorbing heat, which insures that absolutely no heat reflects back. The metal fiber used is ferrite isotopes, a new category of it discovered by a German technician 2 years back. While iron ball paints in usual stealth technology dissipates 80% of the heat, this new structure_" a new carbon iron structure appeared on the screen and Taekwoon leaned forward to read the lines "_which is still un-named, resonates in-tune with any kind of incoming radio waves and dissipates 99%. The FSS used for filtration and microwave absorbent are also stronger but experimental"

"In other words, while this is all very fascinating, this all modification makes the experimental air-craft undetectable to 90% of the earth's defenses and radars. That makes it a perfect craft to carry any kind of nuclear or atomic weapons in any country, passing any kind of security or detection"

The screen went black again and the message continued

"CUBE has been compromised, according to our intelligence there are at least 6 spies inside the main building and their main objectives to gather any or all discoveries and missions involving the X-pilot project. Not only that , there is one double agent among the premises of CUBE, who is serving as an inside informant for HEX. HEX never agreed to partner up with CUBE so even after teaming up due to orders, the never completely trusted CUBE"

"New events prove that HEX has also been compromised. Someone from the inside tipped some SM people off on their mission last week which put them on high alert"

"Now that both agencies are against each other and compromised, whatever they gather is not safe. Japan already know that there are people after their project so it will not be easy to complete this mission"

"This is where you come in. whether you choose to accept this mission your first step will be to find this man"

The screen lit up with a picture, in green and black. A man, not older than 25, Taekwoon noticed, his face was covered with a mask, hiding his nose and lower side. He had round eyes and black hair.

the screen then shifted to two more shots that were poor in quality. One was a shot from far away of the man, perched on a roof, holding something that looked like a rifle in his hand. He other was a picture of him running. He was covered head to toe and the picture was far and blurry.

name: N- field agent

The screen showed.

Real name: unknown

Age: unknown

height: unknown

nationality: unknown

Taekwoon didn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes and sighed

"he is a HEX agent. While not much about him is known, he has a big reputation and is one of the top 7 agents in his agency, making him very high ranked and a very important agent. His past records involve all successful missions both in South Korea and America"

Taekwoon clicked his tongue he wasn’t impressed but curious even more now.

"he was offered the same mission as you and he accepted" Taekwoon raised his eyes at that, a agent of such high ranking going behind his agency?

"upon accepting this mission, you will find agent N, by interfering in an HEX infiltration that will take place at YJ chemicals 2 days from now. Agent N will not be there personally but this will test your improvising skills. once you do you will be contacted your sources for further briefing. If you do not accept, our people will deny any and all knowledge on this message ever being delivered to you and will not contact you again. If you inform your agency about this you will be terminated. This is the code number you can send in your answer as a simple _yes _ or _ no. t_his USB will self-destruct in 10 seconds"

And with that, the screen went black again. Taekwoon quickly removed the plug in from the laptop and threw it on the floor before it exploded with a tiny bang, leaving black ash on Taekwoon's expensive soft rug.

He didn’t care. He had other things to think about.

_N_ was a HEX agent, he himself was a CUBE agent, both agencies that were already on the X-pilot project. Whoever the person behind this was taking a big risk bringing in two people from these two agencies, even if N knew about this before, Taekwoon didn’t and what were the chances they would be ratted out by him. Not too low, yet still...

the message had been long and thorough, very detailed. It was odd, too much information provided to someone who hadn't even accepted the mission? Also, it said this wasn't from the agency, but the code he gave to the messenger was the same and the password he typed in was also accepted. Taekwoon had a bad feeling about whoever was behind this. but he also had a feeling he would be meeting the person very soon...

**∞**

"I'm surprised they didn’t suspend you" Taemin grinned at Wonshik once he sat down on the couch. "or cut your fingers in punishment" he added smirking.

"you would like that wouldn’t you, you jerk" Wonshik said half-heartedly throwing himself on the couch. Taemin let out a little squeak of fear that he may drop on him and curled to the side, Wonshik allowed himself to snicker.

It had been a rough week, first the disaster at the bar was not only an utter humiliation, the also revoked his high security clearance making him totally useless and it wasn’t still decided how long he'd be suspended for then suddenly his sister called telling him that there were _some weird gangster looking_ men coming to his apartment block and college entrance for two nights now. Wonshik assured her it wasn’t anything but he knew better, he always knew what his job was, how dangerous it was for people around him, but it was the first time it was happening, he wasn’t trying to panic but the nagging feeling that her sister wasn’t freaking out over nothing and there may be some people who connected him to his sister was eating him alive. He had asked to leave the city to be with his sister for the time being but it was denied. Yeah, he didn’t tell the reason because he didn’t actually want his company involved and confirm that yes his sister was in fact related to some one important. There was still a chance it may just be a false alarm or it may just be a suspicion and whoever was tailing his sister may leave if they got nothing. 

It was one of those days when he wanted to just throw it all away and quit. He was gonna be suspended pretty soon for who knows how many months and he really wanted to be with his sister. Not to mention being tricked by the pretty boy at the bar was making him angry every other hour; he didn’t want to admit his fault for falling into his charms and those beautiful blue eyes so he was taking his anger toward _Hongbin _out on random kitchen ware. If Hongbin was even his real name in the first place. For all Wonshik knew those weren't even his real eyes, just lenses, he probably had some expensive plastic surgery to look _drop-dead fucking gorgeous _. Yeah, he was probably that beautiful because of money. There was nothing special about him. He repeated his head. Nothing, he was just a rich spoiled agent boy with _extremely handsome face and that jaw line and that body curve - _stop it Wonshik! He scolded himself, shaking his head to drown away the thoughts. It hadn't worked for the last week.

_"_Stop what Wonshik?" Taemin asked from his side, raising his eyebrow teasingly and Wonshik realized he had said it out loud. All hongbin's fault. Wonshik would choke him to death next time he saw him….but he prayed they would never meet again. He didn’t trust himself to not fall into his charm's tarps once more.

ugh, since when had he became fucking useless in the face of beauty.

"fine, keep ignoring me. I'll just be here" Taemin was dramatically sighing but Wonshik had too much on his mind to notice "in my corner, all alone, waiting for your attention" he added throwing his hand on his face tipping his head back.

"what would you say if I said I wanna quit?" Wonshik asked suddenly to which Taemin's eyes widened comically. Wonshik rolled his eyes. "I'm serious"

"I would smack you on the head " he replied with a shrug "why should I even bother to say anything when I can knock sense into you"

"you’re no use" Wonshik groaned. What was he even expecting asking for opinion from a dork.

"did you invite me here to bore me while you bask in your misery" Taemin moved ahead to grab the remote turning on the LCD but muting it right away.

"I didn't invite you, you were already here when I came" Wonshik deadpanned snatching the box of Pringles from the other's hand

"well, your place is closer and it's not like your housemate is home so there's space for another body here" Wonshik wanted to say he doesn't have a housemate anymore but didn’t.

After a few minutes of silently staring at the screen Taemin spoke "you can quit, for all the difference it'll make" Wonshik turned his head, but the other was still looking in front

"you know how this is, once you’re in, you cannot go out. You remember what happened to Jongin. For people like us, there's no normal life. No matter how much we try" he sighed, dropping his head to look at the rug below. Wonshik was taken a back from the sudden mention of their team mate. It hit like a brick… Wonshik wanted to apologize but it wouldn’t make a difference would it. What was done was done

"you can quit, spend your next few years hiding, until either someone gets to you when you’re least expecting it or you come back because you cannot stand and see the world falling apart from the side line when you know you have the power to make a difference" Wonshik had heard those lines before, they may be repetitive but they always had the same impact. He closed his eyes leaning back in the arm rest

"it's your choice. I would wish you luck if you want to but I don’t want to loose another. Please" Taemin added, not looking at him at all getting u from his spot and moving to the kitchen. Wonshik knew that when he would come back he would be smiling again, and then make a joke about random things, change the channel to some crappy movie and waste his night on the couch. it was always like that. There would be serious moment and conversations between them but he was good at changing moods. He was right though. Was always right.

There was no normal life for people like him.

They would hide forever scared of the shadows and silhouettes in the dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lets start guessing what the ships will be. i'm curious to know what you all think, let your imaginations run wild
> 
> thank you for all the kudos. i hope y'all would comment too:)


	4. Soaring wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not a spy Hyukie" Wonshik had tried to argue but whoever wore cool leather jackets and carried around coms and gun was a spy! He wouldn’t accept a no!

When Sanghyuk was 10 he got into a fight with a classmate because he kept stealing the other kid's lunch and ended up picking up the boy and throwing him on the table. The boy broke his back and he was expelled. when he was 12 he beat up some class goons so badly, for making fun of a girl's braces that they got broken teeth and split lips. When Sanghyuk turned 14 he won a quiz competition in his school. When he turned 16 he graduated from high school with the highest honors making him the youngest graduate of the most prestigious school in the city. When he turned 16, he also started smoking and hanging out with the local gang. How it happened that way he doesn't remember. When he turned 17, on his birthday he was kidnapped. By whom he never knew. But it was obvious that it was the gang. Two days later he was left blind folded on the Han River Bridge. 7 hours later, he was safe in a house that wasn't his.

Oh did he mention, the person who saved him was his school but his class mate in college. Kim Wonshik. And probably the only friend Sanghyuk had.

Wonshik, or _hyung_ as he insisted that Sanghyuk called him, was just any other student with good grades. He was also a member of the school soccer team. In high school they never mingled. But when Wonshik graduated so did Sanghyuk. Surprisingly, considering Wonshik's poor background and normal grades, he still got into the university Sanghyuk applied to.

Naturally, being familiar with someone in a new environment made them close. They would sit at lunch together, then started to share a desk, soon after they were crashing libraries with each other where they spend more time doing dumb stuff like watch prank videos on mobile phones or throwing paper spits at others than they did _actua_l studying.

Sanghyuk's grades dropped but he didn't care. His family never really forced him for anything, being the youngest, he was spoiled. The fact that he was already in a prestigious university and ahead of his age was pride enough for them.

Sanghyuk was happy to have a friend and Wonshik was happy that despite him being weird and introvert, Sanghyuk liked him. They would play for hours, the age difference never mattered, they went well together. Wonshik was kind and modest, he never asked Sanghyuk for anything except his company. Sometimes Sanghyuk wondered if he should offer the other money or ask if he was having financial trouble since he knew well that Wonshik was an orphan who worked part time to provide for his sister and himself, but he always respected other's pride and never brought it up. Besides, aside from a small period of time where Wonshik seemed to be struggling, he never looked like he needed money. He was always nicely dressed; he spent money on food and snacks too. Where ever he worked, paid well. Sanghyuk asked sometimes about his job but Wonshik always changed the topic. Sanghyuk never pressurized him. They weren't personal. They didn't talk about family or their problems but that never meant they weren't there for each other if the other needed.

Sanghyuk never asked why Wonshik skipped classes, why he was absent on many days, why he would come to class with a black eye and split lips but he was curious and worried.

In exchange, Wonshik never asked him about his friends he smoked with. Maybe because Wonshik didn’t really know exactly who his smoking buddies were, if he knew they were a gang it might have been different.

Then on the day of his age 17th birthday, the start of sophomore year, he was kidnapped. Sanghyuk was known as the shoulder gangster, his high school his nick name was Hulk. he was big for his age and taller than most people making him gigantic. It wasn’t easy to lay hands on him but he was defenseless in the face of a cigar with enough nicotine to knock him out.

He woke up in a basement of some abandoned building, dark and cold, the only other breathing soul the man who was keeping guard on him. Or well, who was supposed to keep guard but was sleeping on a chair without a care in the world.

Sanghyuk was smart and rarely scared and at that time he wasn’t even a tiniest bit scared. Why? He didn’t know but it was all for good. Having no fear and a sleeping goon made it easier for him to untie the knots of the rope tied carelessly around him. They probably though he wouldn’t be in any senses to try and escape or probably though he was too young to try anything smart. Either way it took an hour tops before Sanghyuk was walking out with a plank of wood for defense, out of the basement.

However his luck ran out on the third step of the stairs that would take him out in the open sky. There was a hit, on his head, it didn’t hurt because it was hard enough for him to fall right that second, right there on the stairs, what was the last thing he saw? He didn’t remember.

When he gained consciousness he found himself in a van, his face covered with a bag preventing him from seeing anything but he could feel two bodies sitting on either side of him, this time he decided to stay silent and not try anything. He didn’t know if they had weapons after all, he wasn’t a doofus to try anything stupid.

He kept still, listening to someone in the car talking to someone on the phone, he doesn’t remember much, probably because of the concussion but it was something along the lines of "once you’re done disposing of the body pick your dummy from the bridge before he falls into the river" and "I don’t want to see your face ever again Ravi, you have been warned"

20 minutes later he found out he was the "dummy" left at the Han River Bridge. He was mildly offended too. He was no dummy; he had the best scores in class!

three hours later he found out that "Ravi" was the alias of his best friend and class mate Kim Wonshik, who was secretly a secret government agent or trainee but either way he was a freaking cool super spy!

"_I'm not a spy Hyukie" _Wonshik had tried to argue but whoever wore cool leather jackets and carried around coms and gun was a spy! He wouldn’t accept a no!

As excited he was at the revelation, his super cool spy best friend, _because of course they were best friends from that day on_ was in a really sad mood but wouldn’t say why.

He never learned why and Wonshik never brought it up. That night excerpt for _the super-secret spy _part became a banned topic between them. "For your safety you must never say it to anyone" was Wonshik’s reason and Sanghyuk was more than happy to keep that cool secret to himself.

But soon came inspiration… College was cool, but a college degree became boring for Sanghyuk when he heard all about the cool mission Wonshik went on, as brief and cryptic as they were, Wonshik never told them in detail making Sanghyuk’s imagination project the events in a super cool story in his brain.

Ah yes! Inspiration!

Inspiration from his best friend slash role-model made Sanghyuk want do something super cool with his life. So, he dropped college, because it wasn’t fun anymore anyway and Wonshik had dropped out too, and joined the Air force!

Sanghyuk loved his super cool "job". It wasn’t secret but it was still super cool! First it was just the vivid colors and charms then slowly as he grew he became more devoted to his position, more patriotic (dramatic, yeah) and 3 years into the force he was the youngest cadet to become an official solider!

With many shiny badges to decorate his very cool and new uniform.

Fast forward to today, he was the youngest and the handsomest squad commander, happy and proud of his position and life.

It was safe to say there as no one he rather be or no place he rather be. Yes, even if he was in Kazakhstan for a month now, he still liked it here. It was all slow and dull, most of the work belonged to the squad forces, his squad was just there for extra assistance.

“I haven’t been so bored in ages” Cha Eunwoo, his squad’s second whined from his spot on the table poking on his food with a fork. Sanghyuk snickered at his whining tone sitting down on his seat. The camp was big but not enough to house five grown soldiers who didn’t know how to stay still and at their seats. It was understandable, they had a lot of energy and wanted to do something, and stayed cooped up in camp for 2 weeks with no real work except carrying large boxes and medical supplies to the village nearby was hardly sustaining their energetic natures.

“Why are we still here though, the medical team has this place covered and the ground forces are already here so they can do whatever is left, carrying stuff or driving doctors to the village from the camp, why are we even here, I want to go home, I miss my mom’s soup” Hyungwoon, another one of Sanghyuk’s whiny squad mate asked looking up to him in question.

“Why are you looking at me, I don’t call the shots” Sanghyuk stuck his tongue out then proceeded to unbutton a few buttons on his uniform, it was getting hotter every day. “if I could, I would allow you all to take your planes to fly away and do whatever you want, expect bombing random deserts” he said eyeing Wooshin who chuckled sheepishly mumbling “it was an accident”.

“But we’re stuck here, get over it. It’s just 8 more days anyway, let stay positive guys!”

Saying stuff like this had become a routine, he was the leader of a very whiny and childish bunch, they were all very good at what they did, all devoted and enthusiastic and sometimes it was the problem.

They weren’t all that apart in age, all young and full of dreams of flying high in the sky for their countries, much like Sanghyuk they dreamt of setting themselves free and found themselves in a fighter jet ready to lay their lives down for their country or any noble cause. It was still weird to Sanghyuk sometimes, how he’d come so far, just a few years ago he was crashing on Wonshik’s couch watching shitty movies all night and skipping classes and now he was here. Dutiful, devoted, attentive, responsible. Just 23 years old but already achieved so much but still had so much to experience. He was happy with what he had, never been greedy to have more but that never meant it wasn’t a wish.

And by that he didn’t just mean war. Sure war was something that was called the ultimate experience, he’s never been in any kind of war, never had the country depend on him that big scale. He had his fair shares of small battles and mission. Some even missions that could have led to war and he pride himself in believing that maybe he had prevented those wars. But yeah, he wouldn’t want to be in a war for so many reasons but the idea was still exciting.

Just once, he wanted to someone his country could completely depend on. But alas, these were just his fantasies.

“why are you spaced out _fearless leader_?” Eunwoo asked poking his cheek with his finger grinning at him and Sanghyuk couldn’t stop himself from thinking how good looking the other was.

“Mind you own peas, doofy. You need your greens to stay pretty” Sanghyuk teased causing the others to giggle as he stood up with his tray in hand. It was true though, Eunwoo was handsome, and Sanghyuk meant that in a very casual way, he wasn’t attracted to men but he knew beauty when he saw it. To be honest his whole teams had the best visuals, Hyungwoon was also beautiful and so was Shinwoo, Sanghyuk wouldn’t act modest and say he wasn’t good looking either, maybe he wasn’t on Eunwoo or Hyungwon’s level but he looked fine. Their team was often called by the female soldiers or cadets at the Base as the Manhwa Boys, men who jumped out of a comic. It was entertaining, to watch female cadets giggle at the four of them. Sanghyuk was amused, but the rest of his team went over the top at times, posing and winking making Sanghyuk want to die from embarrassment. Sigh. It was hard to be the leader.

“oh right” Sanghyuk came out of his thoughts when Shinwoo exclaimed in his direction. He had tuned out of the other’s conversation so he jumped a little at the sudden voice. “you’re gonna have your days off after we go back, right?”

“Yeah” Sanghyuk nodded. He had turned down going home on the last vacation month; while his team went home he stayed behind. Honestly he wasn’t that close with his family, he loved them yeah but he wasn’t really looking forward to go home. Just because. It was boring back home and Wonshik had been busy with some work those days so another reason why he didn’t go. But his commander insisted he went home this month and Sanghyuk couldn’t say no because he did kinda miss home, the city and his big sisters, it had been almost an year he last saw them and Wonshik had been complaining every time they talk that he doesn’t come home. So he accepted the vacation. Thinking of Wonshik made him smile, he missed him best friends and had so many stories to tell him as he was sure the other had stories to share too. After Sanghyuk had joined the force Wonshik had become more open, knowing that he could protect himself and wasn’t in danger of Wonshik’s “enemies”, he started telling Sanghyuk about his missions, not really revealing the purpose of locations to keep the secret that his company wanted him to. But little things that happened during his work, like some system failure or the time he slipped on ice while running from roof to roof or when he forgot to pick up his riffle bag from the van and had to take the stairs to get it back, climbing 40 stories twice. It was easy and relaxing. Sanghyuk looked forward to seeing him, he decided. He was sure the other felt the same.

“good, while you’re gone we’ll slack off and stay in bed late since you won’t be there to drag our asses to the training rings” Shinwoo announced earing light hit from Sanghyuk. “You just try, I’m gonna make sure commander Hwang keeps an eye of you lazy head” all three of them groaned at the mention of Hwang. Sanghyuk smirked putting on his boots at the victory.

“I’m gonna take a round of the camp, want to come?” he asked knowing the obvious answer and it came in a unison of “No” from the three. 

“taking a round is just an excuse, he’s just going to flirt with Doctor Kim” Eunwoo snickered and if Sanghyuk hadn’t already closed the door he would have hit the other. He wasn’t completely wrong though, Sanghyuk did want to see Namjoo but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t take the round, it made him look very cool and never failed to get her attention drawn to him.

One more reason why Sanghyuk liked this life, he looked very cool in uniform, his hard worked body, wide shoulders, manly yet young face, all made him look very cool, Wonshik said he looked like an actor playing a role and Sanghyuk couldn’t disagree. Speaking of Wonshik, he should probably let the older know he will be coming back home soon, he _did_ share the place with the older and even though his parents would insist he stayed home with them he still had all his stuff there. That is, if Wonshik hadn’t thrown it out to replace with big speakers or something.

The phone was ringing, the international calls tended to connect slowly. Sanghyuk stopped walking just a few steps away from the camp, he decided to stand by the nearest tree in the shade, from there he could see all the camp, the doctors, the paramedics going around, everyone working their part. Cars and vans coming and going, people carrying vaccines and other supplies that were brought from other countries to help with the earthquake victims.

After what felt like ages there was a little rumble on the other side then a low voice asked “hello”

Was Wonshik sleeping, he forgot what the time difference was but even if it wasn’t night in Korea if Wonshik was sleeping, that wouldn’t be surprising at all

“hyung? Sleeping?” he asked, smiling at hearing the familiar voice. Throwing his head back to rest on the tree trunk but then slid down to sat.

“Hyukie? No, not sleeping, what’s up?” Wonshik said _-in a whisper_?- and Sanghyuk wondered if it was a bad time, but Wonshik never really picked up calls when he was working,

“Nothing, just wanted to say hi, are you out?” he asked, emphasizing on the _out_, not wanting to say anything on an un-secure line.

“um, not really, just some …scouring, nothing big. Talk though, how’ve you been?” his tone was lighter this time and Sanghyuk, pushed aside the nagging feeling that he shouldn’t be distracting Wonshik if he was working, Wonshik was careful, Sanghyuk told himself.

“good, work is slow and it’s really hot here” Sanghyuk started only to be cut by something falling on the other side

“hyung?” he asked, trying not to let panic take over. He had never really talked to Wonshik when he was out in the field, he never saw him in action either he knew Wonshik was good and just until a few years ago he trusted and counted on him to keep him safe and alive, always was assured that nothing would happen to him because Wonshik would be watching over him. But now, that he was his own person, strong and trained enough to protect people, he couldn’t help but feel protective of Wonshik… it wasn’t like he doubted Wonshik’s skills, he would be very offended if he even said it out loud. But he never saw Wonshik in the field and he just felt like he should be there to protect the older. It was stupid, he was aware, Wonshik was probably way better than him, way faster and more trained. If anyone was in danger more if they were ever surrounded by a lot of evil people, it was Sanghyuk, but he couldn’t help but want to protect the other. Or at least watch him in the field and action to assure his heart and mind that yeah, Wonshik was okay, he was good he could take care of himself.

“It’s not too bad here but it’s not cool here yet either. When are you coming back?” Wonshik was asking and Sanghyuk shook his head to come out of his thoughts.

“ah, that’s why I called, you didn’t throw out my things did you?” he asked, playful, earning a light chuckle from the other side. Sanghyuk smiled

“maybe” Wonshik said and Sanghyuk could almost see the smug look on the older’s face in his head “you don’t expect me to keep your stuff even when you don’t come home for a whole year”

“you better not have thrown my DVD collection” he said, playful. “I’ll be home next week, were almost done here, I may even come directly from Base when we land”

“mhm, that’s good, I’ll see if I can have your room cleaned up. Do your parents know?” Wonshik was suddenly talking in hushed voice again and it sounded like he was moving, the sound of his footsteps was surprisingly loud.

“yeah, they do, and don’t bother, I’ll just clean up myself. You want me to get something for you from this side of the world?’ and Wonshik stayed quiet, Sanghyuk waited another few seconds before calling out once more “hyung?”

No answer. Just footsteps

“hyung” Sanghyuk asked, standing up from his spot. He was having this feeling in his gut that made him very anxious, he felt like throwing up bit Wonshik still didn’t say anything.

“Wonshik?!” Sanghyuk called, louder and harder than normal. He was relived for a second when he heard the voice from the other side, hushed as it was, but the panic was back the second Wonshik spoke.

“Hyuk-ah, got to go. Come home safely” and the line went dead.

Sanghyuk tried convincing himself that it was nothing. It probably wasn’t anything at all.

he quickly shoved the feelings under the rung when he saw Namjoo waving to her from her tent, smiling that shy cute smile of hers and Sanghyuk all but jogged over to where she stood, suddenly shyer she looked down at her hands before tucking them in the pockets of her coat. Sanghyuk smiled brightly when she raised head to look at him.

“is everything okay?” she asked voice low, moving to go over the supplies covered table, busing herself in them. Sanghyuk followed after adjusting his collar and making sure his hair were in place. “you were talking on the phone then after you looked sad. I was just wondering if everything as okay?”

“oh yes, I just called home. Everything is fine” he lied. “let me help” he offered taking the big but light box from her and walking over to where she motioned and set it down.

“oh” the color of her cheeks was rosy as she tucked a strand of her brown hair back. “were you taking a round? We’re just about done with today’s shift” soft, her voice was soft, something Sanghyuk liked a little too much. She was also short. Another thing he liked about women, she was also smart and delicate, even being a doctor she was very girl like and Sanghyuk very much liked all those traits. He liked girls that he could protect and who he could wrap his arms around. Namjoo was very much his type.

“Yes, I can see. Good work today doctor Kim” he said, grinning, an obvious try to make her blush, which she did and Sanghyuk chuckled “cute” she grew even redder at the remark.

“t-thank you Commander”

“you too” she added, taking her gloves off and turning back to face Sanghyuk, her eyes shining, full of expectations. Sanghyuk knew how to fill that expectation

“are you going back next week too? He asked and she shook her head making Sanghyuk frown. “I’m actually going back in two days, they think there’s enough staff her and were almost finished so they decided to send one team early” Sanghyuk hummed watching another van approach, probably carrying more supplies or food from the corner of his eyes “are you going back next week?”

“I am” he nodded and then took a huge breathe “do you want to have dinner with me when I come back to Seoul?” and he watched with an smug expression as Namjoo gasped at his words but quickly composed herself but not before blushing hard.

“I would- i would like that” she said, soft and quietly. “I’ll let you know when I get the day off?” she added and Sanghyuk nodded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked and she smiled, nodding “good night, Doctor Kim” he added with a wink and chuckled when she turned another shade of Red this time.

“Good night Commander Han”

Sanghyuk walked back smiling and humming to himself. Wonshik was fine, he told himself. And it was nice to make some progress with Namjoo, she had worked in the same team as him on missions for a whole year now and everyone could tell he was interested in her. He never hid it, he liked her openly and confidently and it was becoming clear that she liked him as well. He wasn’t someone who could be resisted after all. There were many doctors even aside her who giggled shyly and waved at him. Almost every woman had a thing for men in uniform and Sanghyuk wore his uniform like a boss!

Namjoo had been like everyone else, except Sanghyuk was interested in her back, she was just his type, small, shorter than him, shy, smart, polite, talented, devoted, quiet and soft. Someone who could fit in his hands and he could protect. He liked her very much and if things went well he would have love to introduce her to Wonshik sooner than later.

He suddenly couldn’t wait to go home…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hyukie is finally here! 
> 
> what do you guys think of him, according to my beta slash twin slash soulmate, "he's very smug, like its scary how accurate his character is" 
> 
> and i'm going exactly for that, cute smug hyukie who's also really really hot in uniform (psst: i was inspired by hyukie's descendant of the suns parody)
> 
> anyway, my Beta , Min , thank you so much for putting up with my bs, and dragging me out of my hole whenever i'm being stupid, you probably wont read this bc you already read the story but thanks luv!
> 
> tell me what you think of Commander Sanghyuk -


	5. Dangerous lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A warning 
> 
> about what….he wished he didn’t know

  


“what are you thinking so deep about?” Hongbin asked wrapping his hands around his waist, slowly pressing against his back to rest his chin on Hakyeon’s shoulder.

“hm? “ Hakyeon stiffened then realizing it’s just Hongbin he leaned back in the touch, putting his own hand atop hongbin’s soft and pink ones. Hongbin had always been soft, despite the roughness of the job, the hellish training, the hours of exposure to the sun and harsh heat never tainted him in anyway, he was always glowing.

After hours of training, sweat and blood running down his feature, he still looked beautiful.

Days without sleep, he still smiled bashfully and brightly.

injured after a job, he still stood tall.

Hours of gun practice, his hands always stayed soft.

He was always delicate like a flower, beautiful like the sky, bright like the star. Hakyeon often wondered how his life would have been like if he didn’t get into this line. If the world hadn’t been so cruel to a 10 year old Hongbin.

  


Had it not stripped him off of his family, would he still be here? Running with Hakyeon from one rooftop to another, hacking his way to everything, in Hakyeon’s arm each night. Would he still be here if he was given a chance to live a normal life? Would he be living like the other rich kids, happy and luxurious with his family and loved ones. Fate was cruel. Hongbin deserved better than what the world had given him.

“nothing, just everything. How things will turn out this week” he answered, trying his best to not let his insecurity show.

“hm” Hongbin hummed and Hakyeon could almost see his judgmental look he was probably giving Hakyeon behind him “you’re keeping something from me” he said, tone soft but sad. Hakyeon broke, he didn’t want to keep things from the younger but he couldn’t tell him this, not just yet at least.

“I’ll tell you when it’s time” he said turning around in Hongbin’s arm, starring right into his eyes, Hongbin looked down, a blush creeping up on his beautiful cheeks. Even after all this time, Hongbin still got flustered around Hakyeon, especially when Hakyeon did something sudden. “for now, trust me?”

“is it about me going to YJ? “ Hakyeon bit his lips in response, not sure what to say. It was that too, but what was on his mind right now he couldn’t voice out. “I’m gonna be extra careful hyung, I don’t know why you’re so jittery these days but don’t worry about me. Have some faith, I’m good at what I do” Hongbin was grinning, dimples popping out and under the soft light on the chandelier he looked ever so beautiful. Whenever Hakyeon thought Hongbin couldn’t anymore beautiful, the universe would prove him wrong by showing another beautiful scenery of the most gorgeous man in existence and Hakyeon was always awe struck.

“I love you” Hakyeon said, even surprising himself, he noticed Hongbin go a little stiff at the words but in that moment Hakyeon didn’t care what had come out of his mouth, he just wanted to kiss his lips and so he did. Throwing his arms around the younger’s neck he crashed their mouths together in the most desperate way, hungry and craving for taste, over flowing with desire, his one leg lifted to rest on one side of hongbin’s thigh, which Hongbin quickly supported by garbing it with is hand, the other cupping Hakyeon’s jaw tilting it to find a better angle to deepen the kiss. Hakyeon was relived. He though he made the other uncomfortable with his sudden confession but he was glad Hongbin responded.

Maybe minutes later, they started getting rougher, teeth cackling as Hakyeon pushed Hongbin gently to walk backwards towards to couch. Hongbin fell with a small _oof _and Hakyeon was quick to crawl onto the younger, resuming the kiss. Hongbin put his hand on his hips, pulling him closer to sit on his lap, and pushing his weight up to sit properly on the couch, settling between the pillows and adjusting Hakyeon in his lap. Never once breaking the kiss, he picked up the remote control from the round wooden coffee table and pushing the biggest button on it distractedly, the curtains on the glass walls slid close slowly. Feeling more confident now that they weren’t on a possible display, Hakyeon tipped Hongbin’s head upwards to nibble on his lower lip, making Hongbin whimper against his lips. Hakyeon smiled, moving down to pepper kisses on his jaw making Hongbin shiver and tighten his grip on Hakyeon.

  


Hakyeon lifted his head to look into Hongbin’s eyes that were shining with desire and the golden light illuminating the place, and he kissed him hardly again making the younger moan. And Hakyeon himself let out a pleasured sound when Hongbin gripped his hips bucking up to get as much contact as possible and Hakyeon broke the kiss to look into his eyes once more, a silent question and Hongbin nodded, biting his lips and Hakyeon surged backward to undo the buttons on his light blue crisp cotton shirt.

Some days, Hongbin would be very hesitant and jittery, Hakyeon took it on him to relax the other on that times, he would slowly kiss him and card his fingers in his hair, softly kissing and murmuring sweet words in his ears that were only meant for him until he would be relaxed and limp in his arms.

Other days he would be confident and dominant and Hakyeon wouldn’t lie when he said it was the best kind of Hongbin mood. The authoritative Hongbin was always hot and Hakyeon looked forward to the days when Hongbin would initiate these things himself and Hakyeon would submit himself completely to the younger’s care, his mind and body.

And some times, Hongbin would be shy and timid. Like today. It was cute, seeing him licking and biting his lips, blush creeping on his beautiful pink skin and Hakyeon made sure to keep that beautiful blush on his face. Shy and boyish Hongbin was a side of him that didn’t show much. He looked so young at times like these, not the hard core and perfect person he shaped himself to be, but an actual 25 years old boy, something he would have been if things had gone differently, young and beautiful. Small and delicate.

Hongbin’s hands were now more confident as they started roaming around his body, exploring, caressing his back and arms when suddenly he went tense. His lips going still against Hakyeon’s and his hands stopping in their movement on his lower back. Hakyeon was confused for a second, searching his brain to think if he made the younger uncomfortable somehow but when he realized the reason of Hongbin’s stillness his heart stopped for a beat. He knew better than to say something or to move , so he waited. Hongbin’s eyes were already wide and searching, looking nowhere in particular as if he was trying to sense something, his fingers were slowly digging into Hakyeon arm and back. The moment stretched on, for no more than 20 seconds and before Hakyeon could try something or move, because 20 seconds were a lot and nothing had happened, Hongbin was rolling them both off the couch, fast but silent until they were sprawling on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. The rug beneath them soft but cold.

Hongbin moved first, gently pushing Hakyeon to the side, and fixing his gaze to somewhere in front. As soon as Hakyeon followed his line of sight he saw…

And tried his best not to gasp…

Laser

A Red dot

Target.

It wasn’t fixed; it kept moving around in the few inches on the wall.

Hongbin was grabbing his arm too tightly, ready to move if they had to but Hakyeon knew they wouldn’t,

they weren’t a target or not tonight at least.

No one was stupid enough to play with their rifle like that giving away their presence

A warning

about what….he wished he didn’t know

  


**∞**

  


_“is it done?” _

_“yes”_

_“good. Stay in contact. You will be informed of your next move”_

_“and don’t try anything. Or your sister sleeps with the fishes_”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short and mostly filter but since it's spicy, i decided to post it separately


	6. Prying Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But the feeling still lingered, the feeling of being watched and heard, even when they entered their hotel.  
they weren't safe anymore

“stay on coms, only reach out if absolute necessary. We cannot risk the possibility of being detected on radar” the team leader was saying as Hongbin picked up his kit and strapped it on the belt on his left thigh. He was ready to head out, checking one last time in his head if he had everything -bug kit, screw drivers, security bypass, DA- and he put his knife in the back of his shoe.

“I’m going” he announced turning on the com button and skipping out the van. They had parked adjacent the building, and it was late and dark enough that nobody saw. Of course it had all been planned. Nothing surprising. That how it all usually went, this was just another one of those hacking mission, except this time he was in another country with some difference in tech but that was about it. Hacking was hacking, computers were computers no matter where. Getting into the main frame was easy and getting out of the ventilation pipes was annoying but not new for him. 

Adjusting his dress jacket one last time, he hung the ID in his neck. Walking up ever so naturally to the front door.

The ID was accepted, because of course it was… and Hongbin was in within seconds. Thankfully he didn’t have to pass any scanners because the ID was of a high level but he wasn’t sure if he’d be allowed on the upper floor without any security scans.

Now it was up to him. Either take the chance and go up the elevator and get caught in the scanners and then it wouldn’t be easy to bolt out of there if there were scanners…or find the nearest vent and take the risk free route to the control room. Getting cramped in there will just be an unpleasant bonus.

The vents were all dusty, Hongbin’s navy suit would be ruined by the time he was out. He groaned at his suit after he jumped out easily. The control room was empty as expected. It wasn’t the main room but it was enough to get into the programs. The blueprints Hongbin had seen in the briefing were wrong. Of course he’d been expecting this, he never expected them to be slightly accurate.

“I’m in” he tapped on the com and flopped down on the chair in front a screen. Cracking his knuckles he got to typing.

“Secure the surveillance first” the command came from his com. “make sure you’re clear”

“you talk too much, chief” Hongbin said flatly plugging in his own USB and waited for the installation to complete

“and you’re too carefree, Lee” Ryeowook said and Hongbin could almost see him rubbing his temples “one strike and youre-“

“if you keep nagging in my ear I’ll turn it off” Hongbin warned but his tone relaxed, he was used to much worse nagging in coms from Hakyeon, this was nowhere as bad

Ryeowook’s sigh was audible even in his ears “you’re exactly like Hakyeon, reckless and ignorant”

“hey, that’s offensive” Hongbin fake gasped but he was already typing in the program at LTE speed in the system. “I have a clean record when it comes to being reckless”

“besides” he added, cheekily, knowing he’d won the argument already “unless you don’t know, our _ignorance_ is what made us the best in the field, I’m sure you’ve heard our praises from one or two people at the very least, did you not, hyung?” he was grinning. Getting up from his spot he moved to the main CPU and slipped the USB with the program he just wrote compatible with the security system.

“shut up Lee, and speed up”

“I’m done” he announced brightly and loud earning a hiss from Ryeowook

“keep quiet, you idiot” he gritted and Hongbin chuckled. Ryeowook was very easy to tease, reminded him of Hakyeon but Hakyeon had gotten more used to Hongbin’s teasing and remarks

“whatever you say, Chief” he said firmly taking out his devices and cable and putting them back in the kit. “I’m turning off communication until I reach the top” he said, all serious and in the field again

“over”

He landed in the men’s room. Looking at his reflection and dusting his clothes off until he was satisfied that he was presentable he moved out. He couldn't go to the 40th floor in vents so this was the tricky but last part. Making his way to the elevators and hoping no one would join him so he could reach 40th.

Of course he wasn’t that lucky, he almost groaned out loud when he saw a woman already in the elevator. Nonchalantly, he stepped inside and stood by the door. He noticed the woman, not more than one 30, hair up in a bun and eye liner way darker than it suited her, kept looking at him. With her constant gaze Hongbin was starting to feel anxious. he kept his head down but from the corner of his eye he could see in the mirror that her gaze stayed on him, unmoving from his face or his body. Her brows in knit and her lips jutted out in concentration. Was she trying to recognize him? That wasn’t possible, not many people knew him in Korea. The time was passing slower but finally the elevator stopped at the 39th floor. Hongbin held his breathe as she stepped aside him and out the door

He took a collective sigh of relief before realizing the door was still open and the woman was turned to face him

“excuse me?’ she had asked and Hongbin raised his eyebrow to look as normal as he could.

_Fuck_, his brain yelled, if she asked him for ID to match the security of the upper floors he would be in a tight spot. _Fuck fuck fuck_, his brain was screaming at him as the woman took a step to get closer.

“there’s really a lot of dirt on your back” she whispered and Hongbin dumbly said “what?”

“On your pants, at the back” she said and Hongbin had just enough time to come back to his senses before she stepped out again but turning back to smile at him “nice watch by the way”

And the doors shut close. He took a big breathe before raising his wrist to look at the 18 carat white gold Patek Phillipe. A gift Hakyeon gave him a few days before they departed for Korea. He cursed in his head at forgetting to take it off. Hongbin loved expensive things and while he was filthy rich, the watch was 2 million Euros. Hongbin wanted to tell Hakyeon that it was going too over the top but Hakyeon took things to heart when it came to questioning his love or gifts so he accepted it with a smile and a kiss. He put it in it's case after wearing it a while but Hakyeon insisted he kept wearing it.

“but it’s expensive as hell, hyung. I can get mobbed” he argued “or just loose it, you know how I loose stuff”

“then you lose it" Hakyeon shrugged but I wanna see it on you. Don’t take it off” he pleaded, pouting, something Hongbin hadn’t mastered resisting yet “if it gets lost or else, I’ll get you another, it won’t matter”

And Hongbin couldn’t argue. He would question where Hakyeon got that much money to spare in one go, but he knew more than anyone how much Hakyeon got paid yearly, and he tried pretending that Hakyeon didn’t own two 5 star hotel buildings in New york. 

But he really should have taken it off before coming here, _It may have gotten scratched_. He examined the watch, coming back to the present only when the beep informed him he reached the top floor. He composed himself before taking a step out. From now on it was all about presentation. The floor was divided into two parts, led by two corridors. One side was guarded by 4 security guards, that lead to the main office. Thankful he didn’t have to go that way. The other part was all offices, of the higher ups. Hongbin casually walked through the corridor; it was late enough for no one to be lingering there. At the end of the corridor, there was a door that said “men’s room” another that said “storage” and the last one was blank. Hongbin took a brief glance at the path he came from to ensure no one was there and opened the door. The few stairs took him to another door that lead him to the rooftop.

It was a wide space, like any other rooftop. One side was cluttered by wire and cables. On the side the elevator system was situated. He pressed on his com

“I’m out” he whispered

“we’re ready” Hakyeon’s voice came and Hongbin subconsciously smiled “make sure it’s clear and shoot the line” Hakyeon’s voice was calm and collected, professional tone, not betraying any emotions unlike Hongbin was feeling. He suddenly wanted to hug Hakyeon but it would kill him if he said it out loud so he didn’t. Hakyeon didn’t need more encouragement.

“okay” he took a breather then taking out the grapple gun from his brief case and tossed it aside, empty.

“just in case I don’t make it to the other side hyung-“ Hongbin started, a wide grin spreading on his features as he adjusted the gun he kept

“Bin-” Hakyeon said, loud, scolding and Hongbin laughed out loud

“_you cannot have my hoodie collection” he added and he was sure Hakyeon rolled his eyes. “that’s my will”

“you can have my Record disks though”

The tower on the other building was visible enough; Hongbin aimed the gun in the correct direction and pressed the button. With a loud _woosh_ a cable flew out at fast speed almost making Hongbin fall back and drop the gun from the push of the cable firing.

“you okay?” he must have made some sound because Hakyeon asked urgently

“peachy! it just startled me” Hakyeon chuckled a bit on the other side.

“it’s hooked on the tower” another voice said through the coms, one he didn’t recognize but must be one of the men on the other side. That what they were there for, to make sure it was hooked right.

He almost expected Hakyeon to say something but he didn’t. he closed his eyes and pressed on the recoil lever. His body lifted up in the air but he didn’t make any noise to keep his dignity. The glove he’d put on before was magnetically attached to the gun but he tightened his grip on the gun anyway. And In a few seconds he was being pulled forward, the night sky dark above him and the city bright below. Looking down, it was almost beautiful if not for the thought that if he fell he’d be something funnier than mashed potatoes. It maybe lasted 30 seconds but it felt like minutes before Hongbin was stumbling on the rooftop trying to find balance and not trip. Two hands came immediately, steadying him and he looked up to see Hakyeon, in his field vest, much like the others there, smiling nervously at him. He wanted to wipe the sweat off of Hakyeon’s forehead, he looked more scared than Hongbin _who_ had actually flew in the air between life and death and_ not waited_ on steady ground, steady safe ground.

“looks like you won’t be getting those records after all hyung” he joked earning a smack from Hakyeon on the arm lightly.

The rest went fast and organized that Hongbin didn’t stay to overlook as they packed up from the rooftops. He and Hakyeon handed the equipment back to their team control and were granted the night off. Hongbin wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep but Hakyeon whined and begged to go to have something sweet and coffee and he eventually gave up and then he found himself sitting in an expensive coffee shop looking over the art on the wall as Hakyeon went to order. Hakyeon had a sweet tooth so he’d probably be getting too many pastries like always.

Hongbin stopped looking around when he saw someone enter the shop and walk to the front, standing beside Hakyeon and said something to order before coming back to sit down on a table next to Hongbin’s. Hakyeon kept kneeling down on the deserts all this time and didn’t notice but Hongbin guessed there wasn’t much to see. The man in question was _tall_, like Hongbin’s height. He as fit and slim, and surprisingly broad shoulders for such a slim waist and legs. But who was Hongbin to judge, he was broad shoulders and slim waist himself. The man didn’t look older than Hakyeon, dressed in a light blue neat and decent looking hoodie and skin tight jeans, washed out and fitting perfectly on the curves of his legs. He looked like a walking statue, Hongbin wondered for a few seconds if he was a model or idol but the lack of face mask said otherwise.

But the clothes and beautiful body wasn’t what was the most striking quality. It was the hair, platinum blonde, one eye- _feminine- cat like Light brown eye_, was covered with the soft hair falling on his face and he kept tucking them back but they kept falling back. Hongbin didn’t know how long he kept looking at the new comer but he didn’t notice Hongbin’s not so subtle gazes…probably used to getting the stares, Hongbin though. He was definitely beautiful, almost godly. More than what Hongbin thought Korean men were capable of.

Hakyeon came back to the table, carrying three plates and two coffees in his hand and Hongbin quickly moved forward to take the cups from his hands before they fell.

“let the waiters serve, hyung. What if you dropped these” Hongbin said, half scolding, putting the cups down.

“I didn’t did I” Hakyeon pouted sitting down and Hongbin almost forgot about the stranger sitting next to them to stick his tongue out unattractively at Hakyeon.

“meanie!” Hakyeon said in fake outrage.

“just eat your sweets. Why did you get so many cakes” Hongbin made a face of disapproval at the chocolate lava pastry 

“don’t eat then, I’ll eat them all” Hakyeon huffed , playfully like a kid, pulling all the plates closer to him and Hongbin chuckled at the older until he dropped the act and smiled back.

“it was really nerve wrecking to wait you know” Hakyeon said after a few minutes and Hongbin snapped back from looking at the man on the side table, who was now sipping quietly on his latte? And using his phone. It wasn’t that he was attracted to him, he was beautiful, yes and Hongbin would be damned if he wasn’t enchanted by the softness of his face, his feminine features and cat like eyes when he blinked thanking the waiter, but there was just this strange aura to him, something that made Hongbin look at him and Hongbin wanted to know who he was, what he did, if he was a model or actor. beautiful men were rare in Korea as far as he saw.

Hongbin hummed, looking down at the cup in his hand . he knew the one waiting had it hardest, he knew from experience.

“I was this close to calling it off” Hakyeon said, maybe a little too loud and Hongbin saw the stranger on the other table pipe up at the words, visibly sitting straighter, it wouldn’t have been noticeable to a normal person because it wasn’t obvious when his eyes narrowed for a millisecond at Hakyeon the back at his phone but Hongbin saw it.

_Danger! _his brain screamed at him, he didn’t know why, maybe Hakyeon was just loud but he decided it was best to stop Hakyeon from talking either way.

“are you done with that?” he asked abruptly, snatching the plate of strawberry tarts and shoving the last one in his mouth. Hakyeon gaped at him and Hongbin quickly wiped up his mouth with a tissue before getting up. “let’s go” he said, extending an arm to a shocked Hakyeon who was probably still processing what happened. _Cute_, a voice in his head said but Hakyeon didn’t know why Hongbin had did it so it was fair.

“binnie-“ Hongbin saw the man on the other table, looking at them from the corner of his eyes which was definitely odd. He could have just looked at them normally, they weren’t exactly being quiet. Hongbin’s sixth sense told him it was best to wrap it up and make sure he didn’t try to make any conclusion of what Hakyeon had said. If they really were being watched, Hongbin should make sure to throw them off track.

He leaned in to peck softly at Hakyeon, now standing in front of him, wiping the smile off his face for a second to be replaced by another surprised expressions. “let’s go home, babe. I’ll make it up to you for making you wait” he said sweetly _cringing internally at himself_ but it worked. The man went back to his phone and Hongbin pulled Hakyeon softly out of the shop.

“what was that? Hakyeon asked, chuckling softy, clearly happy at Hongbin’s act.

“what was what” Hongbin asked innocently, tucking his hands in his pants pocket as they walked quietly to where the car was parked.

“you never show affection or- anything in public and you _never _eat tarts” Hakyeon stated like he said, _don’t play dumb with me_ “and you called me _babe!” _he added loudly but clearly happy with it.

“so not true-” Hongbin exclaimed, and turning back to look at the shop door. To his surprise, the man from before also walked out among two other people but started walking to a total opposite direction. Hongbin saw him put earphone in his ears before turning back to Hakyeon

“I do show affection- “ he said, smiling, opening the door of the car to get in “never in public” Hakyeon cut him off, but he added ignoring the older “and why is it so surprisingly that I called you babe” his tone fake offended

Hakyeon rolled his eyes affectionately as Hongbin started the car. “you don’t really call me by pet names often” he said quietly, Hongbin had to agree

They fell into comfortable silence afterwards

Hongbin decided to break it “I felt like we were being watched” and Hakyeon whipped his head to face him from where he was looking out the window.

“I thought it’d be better to not talk in the open so I cut you off before you said something more” Hongbin clarified and Hakyeon made a little “ahhh” sound.

“I meant it when I said I would make it up to you though ” he added, grinning and Hakyeon ginned back at him.

They parked the car and for a mere second Hongbin felt like being watched. He slowly looked around, not noticeable to raise any alarms or to attract Hakyeon’s attraction. It was quiet in the parking lot and aside from the sound of generators there was nothing there.

They weren’t followed, neither of them were that reckless and Hongbin had very good senses. He would have felt it if they were followed.

But the feeling still lingered, the feeling of being watched and heard, even when they entered their hotel.

It was stronger when Hongbin held Hakyeon his arms as the older fell asleep soundly

It stayed there, at the back of his head until he drifted off to sleep .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you guess who the mysterious blonde was...


	7. Stitches

Hakyeon slowly and carefully untangled himself from the sheets and Hongbin arm that was wrapped around his middle. They both had been tired and drifted to sleep soon after lying down. It wasn’t usually like this. Actually, they didn’t see each other in days. And they both lived separately, a 15 minute car drive from each other so it wasn’t easy to meet up. But they made time to meet at least twice a week. Hakyeon got promoted at his day job so he had a lot to deal with and Hongbin’s work required his undivided attention.

It was actually the first time they were sharing a hotel like this, and even if there were separate rooms for both, not even one night did they sleep separately. Hakyeon liked this, he decided, not just the sex, they didn’t do that regularly, but the lying into each other’s arm and cuddling to sleep. It was domestic and comforting especially since being here was difficult for Hakyeon.

He almost wanted Hongbin to move in with him when they went back to USA but he knew the younger would reject him with a snarky reply. And Hakyeon wouldn’t ask him for that anyway, didn’t want to make him uncomfortable and push into his space.

If Hakyeon was asked who they were to each other, what was the status of their relationship, he would never be able to answer. There was no answer to it. They weren’t boyfriends, but they were. They weren’t dating yet they still were. Hakyeon would say they had a label free relationship but that wasn’t true either. Yes, they didn’t advertise each other as other’s boyfriends or they didn’t go announcing or confirming that they were dating either, yet they still were all those things.

People who knew more than a little often mistook tem for friends with benefits and he had heard more than once that people thought of Hakyeon as the mentor, guardian, big brother type for Hongbin. It was true, to some degree, but Hakyeon’s feelings ran deeper than just mentorship and Hongbin had more than a small hand in piecing Hakyeon back together from shattered pieces just like Hakyeon had done for him.

Not that Hakyeon wanted to have such a complication relationship but for Hongbin he would endure even more.

When Hakyeon first met Hongbin … young, brash, out of control, hot headed, angry, sad, hurt, broken… Hakyeon knew need help, he needed someone in his life to make it better again. The pain in the younger’s eyes was similar to what Hakyeon felt at times. But that wasn’t why Hakyeon decided to make himself a constant in Hongbin’s life. No, it was because Hongbin reminded him, out of the people he left behind, the one person, the boy he failed to protect when he ran away. Hongbin reminded him of the same aged boy, who was also angry, hurt and sad once, when he didn’t believe in anything, didn’t trust anyone in the world…until Hakyeon came into his life. But he failed to protect him. So he decided he was gonna do better with Hongbin.

It started out as brotherly love, the more time that passed, the more Hakyeon became attached to Hongbin. While Hongbin kept getting better, Hakyeon kept falling harder. And before he knew, his feelings of love changed from brotherly to romantic.

But Hongbin didn’t feel the same.

He didn’t like Hakyeon as a brother

But he didn’t like him the other way around either.

But he still kissed him back when Hakyeon pulled him by his collar, the two of them perched on a rooftop, a helicopter hovering over them, ready to take Hongbin from him for months. Hakyeon had to do it. He had to tell Hongbin how he felt, he may never have gotten a chance, so he did.

Hongbin grabbed the arm of the door, ready to step in but Hakyeon couldn’t let him go

So he grabbed his wrist and pulled, Hongbin stumbled but turned to look at him, smiling.

“I’ll be fine hyung, I promise” he smiled, reassuring Hakyeon with the same line for what felt like the thousandth time.

“no, promise me you’ll come back” Hakyeon pleaded, he was more desperate at the moment than he had ever been in his life “I have to tell you something when you come back” Hakyeon

“tell me now, hyung” Hongbin smiled, not taking his hand back from Hakyeon’s grip. The wind above them was frantic, their hair all over their faces and it was hard to hear over all the noise “I may decide to stay there you know, Switzerland has always been a favorite place of mine” he teased, cheekily and Hakyeon rolled his eyes.

“whatever” he groaned before releasing the younger’s hand and grabbing his collar by both his hands “you grew up in America yet you still call me hyung” he murmured looking at Hongbin’s lips then his deep chocolate brown eyes “it fucking hurts”

And in the next moment, Hakyeon put his lips to the others and Hongbin let out a small gasp but he kissed him back in a second. It wasn’t anything deep, just a lock of lips. Soft and chaste, and slow. Hongbin hands came to rest on Hakyeon’s shoulder as his released his collar in favor of circling around the neck.

It wasn’t too romantic or sensual. It was unsure but easy. It was easy to kiss Hongbin, it felt like something Hakyeon had been doing this entire time, it didn’t feel new, it felt familiar, it felt okay.

Hongbin was the first one to part. Hakyeon almost expected him to panic or freak out or move away, he was aware that the other didn’t feel the same way but he still kissed him back and didn’t take his hands off him even after parting.

“I don’t consider you my brother, Hakyeon” he said, tone light and smiling. “I just never corrected myself, I _am _half Korean after all”

After he came back, Hongbin told him that him calling Hakyeon “hyung” didn’t mean he considered him a brother, which Hakyeon always doubted, his mind always translated _hyung_ into _brother _ in American culture. But what Hongbin dismissed that notion Hakyeon asked him if he liked him because he kissed him back.

“I don’t know” he said, voice low and soft

“do you regret kissing me?”

“no” he answered immediately

“would you kiss me again”

“yes” another quick answer

“is it physical attraction?’

“no, I mean, I would- I would like that, I mean you- I –you, we “Hongbin was red, his ear and cheeks colored prettily, looking down in his lap so Hakyeon took his hands in his own

“should I wait, bin-ah?” he asked, had to be sure even if they answer may hurt him “if you tell me not to I won’t, I’ll pretend this never happened”

“ I’ll come to you hyung” he replied in a small voice

So he waited, for Hongbin to come to him, at the safe distance but always tried to be there for the other, that wouldn’t change even if Hongbin never liked him back.

He wished he would

Then one day Hongbin came to him. Like he said but when Hakyeon asked if he was sure of his feelings now, if he liked him back, loved him, or even felt attraction…the answer he got was not what he expected something

“I never loved anyone before hyung, I never dated or kissed. You were my first kiss. I don’t know How to fall in love, I don’t know what it feels like but I know I don’t love you” Hakyeon stilted, looking down on the floor.

He expected this answer but didn’t know it would hurt so much ”it’s okay” he whispered

“no!” Hongbin snapped, loud. Shaking his head a little manic “no, I didn’t mean I don’t want you, I do, I want to be close to you hyung, I want to touch and feel you , to kiss you again, I want to know what it feels like to make you happy, to be the source of your smile. I want to do all that, with you. I know its selfish but I want your affection even if I can’t love you the same way back” Hakyeon looked up, confused and searching for Hongbin to make sense somewhere along the way.

“I won’t ask you to love me when I can’t do the same, but I wanted to tell you that’s how I feel” there was something in his voice, confusion, fear, doubt.

“what if I want to love you anyway?’ Hakyeon asked and Hongbin frowned. “what If I say I’ll wait until you love me back”

“I don’t know if I can hyung, I don’t think I’m capable of it” Hongbin said, a little sadly

“that stupid bin-ah, everyone loves“

I don’t want to give you false hope”

“I’ll take it. maybe because I know you’ll know how you feel soon, whether you like me or not”

“or maybe because I’m way in too deep and getting you out of my heart isn’t possible anymore”

Hongbin clasped his hands together, a nervous motion “I don’t want you getting hurt because of me hyung”

“it’s not because you, bin. I choose to like you and I don’t regret it” Hakyeon smiled bright, taking the younger’s hands in his own.

“you don’t?” Hongbin asked, his face young and confused

“no” he nodded still smiling

“you don’t regret loving someone who may not ever love you back?” Hongbin was confused like it was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard.

“loving someone is no something to be afraid or regretful of , Binnie. And I especially don’t regret it because it’s you and even if you don’t like me back- I’ll still cherish every single moment my heart is with you because whether its romantic or platonic, the best time is the one that I spend with you”

“oh my god! HYUNG!“

Hongbin drew his hands back, resting them on his ears and curling up where he sat. “why did you say something so- corny” he finished with a visible shudder, still trying to become one with the couch.

Hakyeon giggled. They stayed like that for a while. Hakyeon trying to fight the blush on his neck and Hongbin trying and failing to rip his hair off with cringe.

After some silence Hongbin spoke. “I don’t know hyung, you know me so well, you know how I can’t stand romance or – that - stuff. I don’t understand it, I don’t feel it like others. I know how you cry when watching romantic films and how to coo at seeing cute couples but I never feel like that , you know, I don’t feel it even when everyone around me does” he talked with a sad smile on his face, a small expression he often hid behind.

“I _want _ to love hyung , I really do, I want to know how it feels to look at someone and feel something that’s not just affection or desire but I don’t know if I’m capable” Hakyeon’s heart broke at the last words and he wrapped the younger man in his arms.

“no bin-ah no, you’re capable. I know you are. And one day you’ll love someone with the big and beautiful heart that I know you have and you’ll be happy, I promise”

That night, Hongbin had fallen asleep with his face buried in Hakyeon’s chest and Hakyeon gently ran his fingers in the smaller man’s hair, the last words his sleepy mouth spoke were of an apology, a soft “_I’m sorry hyung”_ and ever since then, they had never spoken so openly on the matter.

Aside from that secret everything about them spoke of normal couple. Hongbin apologized sometimes, silently but Hakyeon always shushed him- he decided to wait and he would even if that wait never ended.

He padded out of the room, silently closing the door behind him. He made his way to the kitchen and poured a glass with water and made his way back to sit down in the arm chair. It was still night, his wrist watch said it was unsure in the morning. He wasn’t the type to wake up early unless needed but he woke up tonight feeling well slept and in need of some fresh air. So he reached for the remote to press the open button on it. Slowly the curtain sided open then the glass door opened halfway through. The warm summer breeze hit Hakyeon where he sat. he sighed in content, thinking of nothing I particular as he finished his water.

There was a guest. Hakyeon knew they were there for quite some time now. But he waited long minutes enjoying the fresh air and silence of the night undisturbed by people in this part of the city, before speaking.

“are you gonna stay there till morning?” he asked and if Hongbin saw him now he would think he’d gone crazy like he always predicted jokingly, taking to no one, looking at the crystal balls decorated on the wall shelf.

But he wasn’t crazy

And he wasn’t speaking to himself

“no use in being stealthy now, I know you’re there” Hakyeon added, his voice calm and neutral but he was on his guard, he always was. “I know you want to talk and you know I want the same, so stop wasting time”

There was no reply and if Hongbin were to wake up now, he would have a good laugh to Hakyeon’s face.

“very well, if you want to waste time do so, I on bother anymore” Hakyeon said loosening the knot on his robe he had put on before leaving the room. He wouldn’t bother normally, he was wearing boxers and shirt under but he was aware of the guest even before getting out of bed so he decided to be decent.

“if it’s a matter of confirming if I am who you think I am, then yes-” He said, keeping his tone quiet and turning his head to finally look at the glass doors and the dark balcony beyond. “-you tailed the right person, _Leo-shi_” he said, deliberately dragging out the name.

A smile crept up his features when he heard breathing. He closed his eyes tipping back his head to enjoy the night air and opened them a second later, only to find a person standing beyond the glass door. It should have been terrifying, a silhouette, dark, tall and probably dangerous, standing like that. All that was left was the lighting to give it the full Batman affect. Maybe that’s what the new comer was aiming for. Theatrics.

But Hakyeon wouldn’t be Hakyeon if he was even slightly intimidated even by this.

He wouldn’t be N if he was.

Hakyeon was soft, caring, sympathetic and in face of certain things…weak.

But N, he was a beast, powerful but controlled, fierce, untamed, dangerous, ruthless… feared.

Not many people had seen this side of him, and those who did, knew better than to cross N’s path again.

Hakyeon moved, turning to sit facing the man in the dark, at some point while Hakyeon stood up and sat on the other side, the man had entered the room. Standing by the door. Darkness all over him, Hakyeon couldn’t see anything more than a silhouette. He didn’t care either

Hakyeon waited, an amused smile on him. this man was trying to intimidate him but all he succeeded in was getting him bored. If anyone saw Hakyeon right now they would say he looked like a mafia head, sitting with on legs crossed ,smiling, face resting on his hand.

“I know you haven’t answered the offer yet, otherwise you wouldn’t be silent. You just wanted to see for yourself who I was” Hakyeon started, relaxing in the seat. The man didn’t move. Hakyeon could be intimidating too. If not with actions then with words

“I also know you’ve been tailing me all night, you were there on the roof too and in the café” he added, the man didn’t flinch. if anything he stood even taller at that revelation, if it was even possible to stand any taller for him. Hakyeon _did_ indeed know they were being followed, but he didn’t know by whom. It would have made him obvious if he turned back to look so he didn’t but he knew all the well.

“Well, I _have _answered and if you are here for second opinions I cannot help” the man moved, leaning back to the glass door. Relaxed- Hakyeon thought he liked this confidence

Seconds turned into minutes and the man didn’t move or speak. Observing, Hakyeon noticed. He was reading Hakyeon, so Hakyeon decided to be smart and move, to disturb his observation walking to the kitchen and pouring himself coffee from the pot he made earlier. The kitchen was front-open and it opened in the living room. So from where he stood by the counter, the _visitor_ was standing directly in front of him, only a counter and the room to separate them.

“Coffee?” Hakyeon moved around to walk by the coffee table, two mugs in hands. If his visitor denied, he would just drink it himself.

He almost resigned from his offer, picking up his cup in his hand, carefully because it was dark in the room and he didn’t bother to turn the lights on, when the visitor moved. And Hakyeon pretended he wasn’t startled a little by the sudden movement. But he didn’t move his head from where he was staring into his cup, even when the visitor took another step –Hakyeon felt like a cat moved- the movement so swift and fast, another few steps- Hakyeon didn’t look up and sip his cup- not even after the man was sitting inform of Hakyeon, a coffee table between them.

Hakyeon hoped he didn’t make himself too comfortable because he didn’t want Hongbin to know about all of this- yet- and Hongbin could wake up any moment.

Better to wrap this up quick. He wondered if Mr. _tall and Batman_ was feeling any more chatty now that he had a cup in his hands.

Hakyeon didn’t think too much of it when he watched him lean forward to pick the cup and the moonlight shined on him just a little revealing that his visitor had _-grey?- _hair and very long and elegant finger.

They didn’t talk for another few minutes and this all felt too comfortable to Hakyeon considering the fact that there was an agent? Spy? Nevertheless stranger, maybe dangerous and threatening sitting on his couch, with coffee in his hand, and all Hakyeon could see of him is a silhouette. And that he’s tall and well built, but he could see that before too.

Hakyeon knew first hand that people like them, him and Leo, were dangerous. It didn’t matter if they worked for a good cause –most of the time- but it was foolish to be off guard. He didn’t know the other man in the room and he wouldn’t fool himself into thinking that he was harmless.

“you’re oddly comfortable in revealing yourself like this for a person who’s only known by his field name to the world” is the first thing the man in front said and Hakyeon couldn’t help but chuckle. _Leo _had surprisingly soft voice for a man of his reputation. But then again looks are deceiving and so are words on the street. Hakyeon would know, _he isn’t what he is known to be either ._

“I never hide anything” it was true, Hakyeon never hid his face or life from the world. He didn’t have anyone that would be in danger if the bad guys knew how he was but that didn’t mean he wasn’t comfortable. The only active relationship he had in his life was Hongbin. Hongbin wasn’t a civilian, not someone who could be harmed by Hakyeon’s – or anyone’s enemies. But people knew better than to mess with N anyways. He had a reputation –off the books- and he was sure it didn’t just exist in USA.

“Everything except your name was said to be unknown” Leo said, in a tone that spoke partly of curiosity and partly of accusation. Hakyeon remained unnerved. He was used to getting this kind of response, but first time he was hearing it from someone in the same feild. Maybe Hakyeon though Leo would just believe him as he said. Hakyeon could tell the man was reading him, there was something in his body, very animal like, Hakyeon felt of constantly being observed but he could block his body language well. Leo wouldn’t get much.

“you’re a fool if you think the _message_ wasn’t made to make you curious. I’m sure they didn’t tell you much, isn’t that why you’re here? Curious _like a cat_?” Hakyeon, in all honesty didn’t know what kind of message the other party had received. For Hakyeon it was vague, in all code words, but code word he _understood_. Hakyeon wasn’t sure of the source as well, but he was certain he knew the person beyond the screens. He narrowed it down to two people, who could set this mission up and hire Hakyeon, and knew the code words.

They told him they would provide a team for Hakyeon. People who were off the books –willing to go off the books- but still agents and official

It was the one condition Hakyeon had upon accepting this task, a team that was top tier. And of course a high payment. Hakyeon would be getting a lot out of this _mission_

“You’re saying that like you sent the message” the man in front blinked, slowly. He wasn’t suspicious, just voicing his thoughts. Hakyeon just chuckled at him making him blink again _slowly_. Hakyeon, in this dim light where he couldn’t even tell if the man was fair or dark, still found his action cute. He would coo at him bit that wouldn’t go well for his image. .

“if this is a game, you should know better than to mess with me” his voice was calm and contained, not betraying any emotion if he was feeling it. It felt exactly like having a general conversation over a pot of tea, but it wasn’t

“threat?” he raised an eyebrow, challenging

“no” and to Hakyeon’s surprise, Leo moved forward, resting his elbows on the table and Hakyeon was looking right into his eyes. Thin, long and a little cat like eyes, crescent shaped. _Too much cat like_ “but you should know better to play games with me N” he grinned, only patially visible in the littlelight, definitely trying to make point

“I’m known to hit my enemies where it hurts the most” and his gaze slid to the door of the room Hongbin was sleeping in and something in Hakyeon caught fire but he contained himself. He never let his emotion show, not even anger. A simple threat won’t change that.

“you can try” he smiled teasingly. Leo probably wasn’t expecting such a calm reaction, he looked mildly surprised or maybe Hakyeon just imagined that .

“as much as it is fun to play with your yarn of wool, kitty cat, you’re of no use to me or the mission if you don’t accept the offer. If you had you would have known what to speak to me about rather than wasting time with empty threats.” Hakyeon stood up. There wasn’t any point here anymore.

“accept the offer and then come back”

“or don’t” he added quietly, giving the look of complete disinterest before walking. It was dark, but the soft dull moonlight made it possible to move around. Taking a few steps he turned back to see why he didn’t feel the presence anymore but there was no one there. The couch was empty as if no one was there in the first place. Hakyeon rolled his eyes. _Stupid batman theatrics _

Hakyeon walked back in the room. Hongbin was in the same position as he left him, curled up in the middle of the bed, hands still where Hakyeon had put them after detaching himself. He looked small, and so very young. Hakyeon smiled at the younger picking up his phone from the side and walked out slowly. He knew Leo was gone, he could tell if he wasn’t, he had very high senses. He dialed the number he had memorized and waited.

“hello” the person on the other side chippered . and Hakyeon squinted his eyes, whoever this person was, Hakyeon had heard enough of his voice to tell he was a very lively and bright person, which was funny because he was clearly not as innocent as his voice suggested.

“I saw a _lion _today_” _ Hakyeon delivered in the agreed code words.

“ohhhh~” the man singsonged “was it big and scary” he chuckled on his own and Hakyeon only rolled his eyes. If it was coming from someone he knew he would have found it cute.

“The line is secured, you can talk” the voice, change. It was the same person, just lot more serious now. Hakyeon could feel the dark edge in the voice.

“he’s fine. Add him”

“hm. I told you so” there was no mockery there “but I wasn’t expecting him to come to you face to face, he’s not really – “ a pause, Hakyeon could tell the man was searching for the right word “he sticks to the shadows, prefers to do things quiet and unnoticeable”

Hakyeon snorted “so I was right, he really is Batman” a chuckle from the other sound rang, much too loud for the silence of the night. 

This time when Hakyeon laughed was humorless, bitter “he threatened me”

There was silence on the other side for a few seconds “odd, but you obviously like it, the nerve on him, didn’t you?” Hakyeon _did_ like the confidence and threat. It just fit well with the kind of quality Hakyeon was looking for.

“I did, he’s a bit full of himself but put him on and speed up the process. I don’t have days left”

“so demanding”

It was weird, this man was weird, serious and dark one second and the other his husky voice turned into playful. He was the second in charge but he sounded sometimes like he could be the mastermind himself. But even separated by the screens Hakyeon trusted him, they didn’t know each other for long and he obviously didn’t trust him like _that_ but he trusted him with this mission.

“and I still suggest you bring in Lee “

“no!” Hakyeon snapped, Leo’s previous words ringing in his ears _I’m known to hit my enemies where it hurts the most_ he knew they were empty threats and even if they weren’t Hakyeon could protect Hongbin, Hongbin could do so very well himself but he still hate the idea of dragging Hongbin in this, one constant and good thing in his life and even if Hongbin didn’t _need _to be protected, Hakyeon wanted to.

“ok, but if he’s not in, he shouldn’t know anything either” it was a warning and Hakyeon understood. It was for hongbin’s sake after all

Hongbin wouldn’t know, Hakyeon had to try his best even if he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it for too long


	8. Downhill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for the loooong gap.  
feat- Jiwon and Chanshik.
> 
> Not exactly a warning but kind of Messed up childhood?

Wonshik was pacing in his room when his phone rang. In a haste to grab it he almost fell face first and dropped the phone before swiping it open after picking it up from the floor..

“Jiyeon-ie?” he asked, very well aware of his own hitching breath.

“oppa!” Jiyeon exclaimed from the other side, happiness dripping from her voice and Wonshik took a deep breathe of relief to hear her voice “why didn’t you call, I was waiting”

”I’m sorry pumpkin, oppa was busy” _Jiyeonie is okay Jiyeonie okay -_he kept saying it in his head “are you okay?”

“m’fine, I dropped my mp3 player in the tub, it’s not working now” the pout on her face was clear in her voice and Wonshik smiled softly despite himself dropping on the bed.

“Iwill get you another, anything else my mumpchkin wants?“

“yeah, she wants you to stop babying her with pets names” she deadpanned. _Always witty _he chuckled lightly, tension seeping out of him slowly

“but you are a baby!” Wonshik protested and she groaned on the other side.

“I’m 21, Kim Wonshik”

“wow, even dropping the honorifics, you brat” he scolded playfully.

“ah, right, oppa?”

“yeah sweetcake?”

“stop it – anyways, those guys are still hanging around the building, my roommate said we should call the cops, and they’re probably just junkies, are you sure I shouldn’t do anything?”

“no, babycake, trust in oppa okay? It’s better to just not do anything, I assure you they’re not after you. They’re just like you said, junkies or drunks” Wonshik tried to sound as auguring as he could, praying that his voice didn’t break and gave anything away.

“okay, I can totally take them though, they don’t stand a chance against me , those jerk. Just wait till I tase them with - “

“whoa whoa whoa, easy tiger” he chuckled, always so headfirst and brave, his precious Jiyeon. “try not to tase anyone huh, just keep it on you okay?’

“okay”

“and you know what I told you about speed dial?”

“yes”

“good, always carry your phone and don’t take rides with strangers”

“I know” she groaned on the other side, tired of hearing it from a dozen times

“also don’t go in your class mates cars, just don’t go with any man at all especially”

“now you’re just back to your “_no boys”_ nagging” she accused playfully.

“I’m not!”

“yeah yeah, whatever. Are you seeing someone oppa? It’s been a long time since you dated; I’m worried you’ll rot alone for life”

“such a disrespectful sister I have” he wasn’t offended in the least, it helped his nerves to talk to her, after worrying for her for so long “I’m not, but you’ll be the first one I introduce him to if I do”

“you better! Don’t even dare to date anyone without my seal of approval, got it?”

“yes, mom”

“good son” they both laughed at that.

“I have a test tomorrow, call me soon huh?”

“promise. Do well okay, don’t think about it much, if you don’t know the answer count to ten and move forward, do that question in the last” 

“I know, this is the only advice of yours that actually ever worked”

“brat”

“good night oppa, sleep well, I miss you”

“me too” the call ended with a beep and the twisty feeling in Wonshik’s stomach came back.

He was almost certain something had actually happened to his sister when he got the call. It took everything in him to not just go gun blazing at whoever fucker was threatening him by using his sister but for her safety he stayed put. They knew she was related to him, they knew Wonshik was working for the government, and they knew exactly where to find is sister. When they sent him shots of Jiyeon in various places, the coffee shop, the college grounds, laughing with her friends, sitting at the bus stop. The last picture though was confirmation enough that he wasn’t dealing with anybody, the shot of her sister entering her apartment- Wonshik was angry, he was so god damned angry he couldn’t even see clear.

It wasn’t smart to get his company involved. They told him to tell no one and he didn’t. They told him to be quiet and normal so he stayed in his place. All his fears came true that night last week and he was sure he wouldn’t see Jiyeon again but when they asked him only to do a little task as scare some rich foreigners, he was surprised. It didn’t almost feel true that they’d let him off with just that. But true to their word, Jiyeon was safe, she didn’t know anything like they said she wouldn’t. But Wonshik knew this wasn’t the end. They were still after her, and they told him to stay in contact. But for now, _for now_ Jiyeon was okay. 

Who knew for how long

They told him he was excused. He knew what that meant. He was taken of the current case and it was handed to someone else. It wasn’t that Taekwoon actually wanted to continue it but it still was a hit on his pride. And it only hit harder when they gave it to a junior. But that wasn’t the main problem here.

He was more than glad to be put off duty which meant he could focus on the new problem. The new _mission_ except it didn’t feel like a mission rather it felt like some scheme he was being invited to. The mission was genuine, he knew that much, he had some of his _friends_ look into it and the X-pilot project did exist but he wasn’t sure if the people that were inviting him were trying to save the world from it or just use him as scrape goats to acquire the weapon to themselves. And especially after meeting with N, he was sure there was something behind the scenes. N gave off a strong villain vibe and _no_, he wasn’t being dramatic but the man did actually give him jitters.

N was up to something, there was something he was hiding. He didn’t deny it when Taekwoon asked him if he was behind the message, neither did he say anything when Taekwoon asked him if he was playing. Taekwoon would play his game, he decided, but he would change the rules.

_The board may be yours N, but I’ll make the rules. _

“yes” he sent

“ Saturday 11:00, the ware-house at dock 4A” was the message he received in reply, no number of the sender, no name, just those words on his mobile screen.

Taekwoon knew he was diving in a whirlpool knowing very well he’d be sucked in. but, he _was _curious.

_“Curious like a cat”_

“bin-ah!”

“yeah?” Hongbin was picking up the dishes to put them on the trolley, reminding himself that he shouldn’t wash them, they’d be taken away soon by the hotel staff. Hongbin may be rich and had a few hundred people working underneath him. A dozen house workers tending to his every need, but he was also a self-dependent person. Even when his parent passed away and his Aunt’s family took him in and the company, even when he was young and unknowing he also did everything on his own, from making a meal for himself to visiting his parent’s graves. Sure he was accompanied by the secretary or the care taker his aunt had hired for him.

Even when he moved back to his parent’s home – mansion, after a year of staying with his aunt’s family, he did it all by himself. he ordered the staff to be shortened to only a maid who’d cook and clean and a driver to drive him to school. The mansion stayed quiet all day, it remained the same at night. The curtains were never drawn or any parties held like they did when his parents were alive. a good part of the mansion remained untouched for years, Except when the cleaning crew would come once a year to clean the whole place. His aunt’s family visited but Hongbin never greeted them, never came out of him room. It wasn’t that he was trying to be mean or rude, contrary to what the world believed, he just wasn’t interested. Nothing interested him anymore, no games his aunt brought him, no cartoons his cousin would suggest they watch, no friends at school. Nothing. It wasn’t like he was sad or mourning, no, years passed, but he never cried for his parents. The only time he cried for them was the day they died because _they were supposed to see the carnival-_

People called him a bad son, the sponsors and shareholders whispered, eyeing him whenever his aunt would take him to attend a fancy company party where she told him to smile so that the _“nice men will like him and help auntie with the company”. _They called him the spoiled Lee, who would ruin the work his parents had done for the company. Hongbin never cared for the criticism or whatever they had to say, he never smiled at the ladies that cooed and pinched his cheeks but he never acted rude either. He wasn’t a bad kid, just lost and quiet.

He won’t lie by saying he missed them, he didn’t even remember them. If not for the photos he would even forget what they looked like. In his defense he was too young and invested in his own little world he built of race cars tracks and block buildings and dinosaur toys. Maybe they loved him, he loved them back in a way too… but his mother was a busy lady, with her fashion shows and boutiques, she was hardly home and the same went for his father- he built his company from grounds up- he didn’t have time for family ,,,but Hongbin remembered memories, where he was happy with his family, where he was loved.

“did you get the confirmation email for the flight tickets ?’ Hakyeon asked, from the shower. Hongbin grabbed his clothes and towel to go take a shower of his own, padding towards Hakyeon’s room.

“not yet” the bathroom door was ajar , soft white light coming from it. The room was clean and the bed was made, no doubt by the cleaning staff when they weren’t here. Their flight was the next day after noon so both men had packed already. There wasn’t much, just their clothes and Hakyeon’s beauty products. Hongbin’s equipment had information so he asked it to be sent in the private flight his team would be taking a few days later. Usually they’d take the private jet too with the team but the tabloids and the media knew about Hongbin’s _vacation _with his _college friend_ so they had to make an appearance for the cameras at the airport. Emerging from a private jet with government agents , in which some were public faces, wouldn’t be too ideal for the company’s image.

Hakyeon’s crisp blue suit was laid neatly on the bed, Hongbin noticed his black shoes were also placed neatly by the bed. Hakyeon was going out? Formally.

“hyung, you’re going somewhere?” Hongbin asked the older as he emerged from the bathroom, in a maroon bath robe with a crown on its chest. The hotels stamp. Water drops were dripping from his hair strands making him look like a wet puppy. Hongbin wouldn’t coo, he decided.

“ah- yeah!” Hakyeon paused looking at his clothes on the bed and back at Hongbin “just, gonna meet up with a friend”

“oh, someone from your old days?” Hongbin asked curious and excited, Hakyeon was reluctant to the idea of reaching out to his old friends , this was a new development. “How’d you get in touch with them”

a pause, Hakyeon moved, avoiding looking at Hongbin, to the side of the bed, the pause was long enough for Hongbin to wonder if he had strike a nerve or maybe Hakyeon didn’t want Hongbin prodding in his matters.. or maybe he just didn’t want to discuss his old life with Hongbin. Hongbin understood either way. He was just about to switch the topic when Hakyeon answered

“there are still some friends I know the address of, I asked if they could meet up and they agreed. I was lucky their numbers didn’t change, its just-“

‘hey, that’s great hyung, I’m glad you reached out, you don’t have to justify why, whether you missed them or just wanted to see someone familiar from your old life, it’s fine. I’m glad” Hongbin smiled at the older, holding his shoulders. Hongbin knew Hakyeon had bad memories from his past, he didn’t talk about them too much but the pain was clear in the older’s eyes whenever it was brought up, and if Hakyeon was trying to heal those wounds and let go of whatever had happened to him six years ago, Hongbin wouldn’t judge him, he was happy, Hakyeon looked nervous and unsure, so Hongbin decided to do something to make the older feel better.

“hyung?’ he smiled, he knew Hakyeon liked it when his dimples showed so he smiled widely

Hakyeon lifted his head up to look into Hongbin’s eyes, hair still wet and face flushed from the shower. He smiled back at Hongbin and Hongbin melted. If there was one person that made him weak and warm inside, it was Hakyeon. He wouldn’t say it out loud, and he may not feel the same way Hakyeon did towards him, but he would jump from the highest mountain over and over again if he could protect Hakyeon and his warm smiles . he stepped forward, hands leaving Hakyeon’s shoulder in favor of wrapping around his waist, leaning the other man forward until their foreheads touched. Hakyeon blushed, which was unusual for him and looked down on hongbin’s chest avoiding his gaze.

“look at me, huh?” Hakyeon did. his cheeks still red and Hongbin prided himself in making him blush for once since it was always the other way around. . “it’s gonna be okay, if you’re too uncomfortable or if it gets awkward, just come back okay?” he pressed a kiss to the other’s forehead and felt him relax in Hongbin’s embrace.

“are you taking the car?”

“no” he simply replied and Hongbin didn’t further asked why

“okay, then call me and I’ll pick you up if something goes wrong, hmm?”

“okay, thanks bin-ah” they both stood there like that, chests flushed together, looking at each other’s face, a small smile playing on both their lips before Hakyeon spoke, tilting his head, lips in a pout “dry my hair for me?’ and Hongbin nodded, leaving the spot to grab the towel from the bed and walked back to where Hakyeon was. He rubbed the cloth gently and thoroughly until Hakyeon was all dry.

“I’m dry! I’m dry!” Hakyeon giggled, applying little force as he pushed Hongbin away but Hongbin grinned and kept rubbing the cloth and Hakyeon’s giggles turned to laughter, that’s when he stopped, laughing with the other.

“get dressed hyung, you’ll be late” and he left the room for his own and stepped into the shower.

20 minutes later he walked out of his room, dressed comfortably in his soft t-shirt and pajama pants when he finds Hakyeon buttoning his suit jacket. He was already dressed in a way that Hongbin thought was too much for friends meeting-up but didn’t comment. His hair were combed up, exposing his forehead, and he was wearing the look that said “business” . his shoes were polished and shining just like the watch on his wrist. He looked way too expensive and Hongbin hoped that it didn’t throw his friends off.

“oh, you’re out” Hakyeon walked to him slowly and Hongbin couldn’t help but find the older man attractive as hell at the moment “I’m leaving. Sleep, okay. Don’t wait up for me, I’ll be back late. We still have that flight tomorrow” Hakyeon gave him a light kiss, only a brush of lips and Hongbin nodded.

He walked to the couch, not sleepy enough to go to bed just yet. Hakyeon emerged from the bed room after a few minutes of Hongbin scrolling aimlessly through channel and he waved a little in reply to Hakyeon before Hakyeon walked to the door. He smiled, eyes still on the screen, happy that Hakyeon is healing and this may actually do him good, but then he sees it.

Hakyeon opened the door, stepping out and closing it softly behind him. But not before Hongbin sees it clear as day. A gun, just an ordinary one, tucked in Hakyeon’s dress pants.

He swallowed.

_This is not good_

Hongbin almost every time carried something with him whenever he goes out of the house. A gun, a Taser he keeps in his car. A knock out needle, or a syringe, or just a small blade. Better safe than sorry he believes. Hakyeon though- never carried anything when he went out for normal stuff. And even when on mission, Hakyeon almost never carried a gun.

But what Hongbin saw was definitely a gun. He recognized it to be Hakyeon’s. Hakyeon carrying a very simple gun only meant one thing. Back up. He would have taken a needle if he was leaving for some mission or assignment. Sometimes he tended to do that, go after some small leads just to stay in the game. But Hakyeon carrying a gun meant where ever he was going, he believed he needed back up. A fail safe.

Hongbin knew Hakyeon too well and sometimes it was the problem. like now, Hongbin believed him when he said he was meeting his friends but it was odd even at first, then Hakyeon being nervous was unlike him in so many ways. Hakyeon got nervous before a really big task or something very risqué,

and the only person he let that side of him see was Hongbin, even _that_ was only a handful. Then the clothes- too formal, too- intimidating. Pushing his hair back up meant he wanted to look threatening and tough. The expensive look was meant to overwhelm. And the un sealed the deal.

Hakyeon wasn’t going to meet his friends. At least, not harmless ones

Hongbin cursed silently at his blindness and dialed the only person aside Hakyeon he trusted.

-

The bell rang only two times before there was static in the line. Bad call roaming. After a few more seconds the sound came clear

“choco?” came the very familiar voice and Hongbin felt a sense of relief.

“Shikie, I’m so glad you picked up” Hongbin sighed releasing a breathe he didn’t know he was holding

“of course I did, why are you calling now, its late th- “the other man was saying but Hongbin was quick to cut him off

“gong-ah” he started “Chanshik, I need a favor, and fast”

‘oh-kay?” the other mused, confused “BEAn, you’re talking in Korean, I cannot understand properly”

Oh… “I need a quick favor” he repeated in English this time. Just like Hongbin, Chanshik was also born in Korea, and despite his aunt and uncle being Koreans, the use of their native language was even lesser in their home than it was in Hongbin’s. Hongbin wasn’t good in it either until much later, after he met Hakyeon. Hakyeon helped him brush up on his language and Hongbin taught the older English. Just one of many things they bonded through.

“what do you need?” he asked, firm, his voice proving he was ready to jump into whatever Hongbin asked.

Gong Chanshik, was one of the 5 friends Hongbin had made in his 25 years of life., he was smart, in some fields even smarter than Hongbin himself. he wasn’t an agent, nor a spy or an kind of anything. But he was talented, and he was known throughout the internet by several different aliases as one of the best hacker and technician. He didn’t work for anyone, but he was hired online several times by the countries intelligence , even though it was foolish trust a man they knew nothing about, but because he was just _that _ good.

Chanshik and Hongbin had known each other forever, even before his parents had died, he was the only friend and the person Hongbin let close to himself after his parents passed away. There was not a moment in life where the other boy wasn’t with Hongbin. Either physically there, or through the computer screens.

Also, he was Hongbin’s aunt’s adopted son, so there was that.

Hongbin’s was good, as a hacker and infiltrator, he was more than just ordinary and he proved it again and again, but Chanshik, if he ever let his work showcased, would definitely leave Hongbin and several other top class hackers behind in dust.

Hongbin almost feared his cousin would someday turn to the wrong side , he’d be unstoppable… or simply be hurt because he knew how many people from undergrounds had tried to hire him,

“I need you to track Hakyeon’s phone, like right now! Hongbin barked, quickly picking up the keys and arranging his belt. he thought about putting on a suit and trying to blend in wherever Hakyeon was but something told him he wouldn’t get a chance. He was already geared up, his leather jacket, wired in both shoulders clinging tightly over the hard and uncomfortable restraint-shirt underneath. The skin tight pants that hid two blades on both his thighs. The full length boot that hid his recorder that he could activate by pressing the simple silvering on his left hand. He put his com piece in his ear switching the call over and pocketed his phone.

“okay, give me 4 minutes” Hongbin quickly ran down the stairs, avoiding the elevator. It was slate but there he could still be spotted and he wasn’t sure people would take his appearance as unarming right now. His head was hurting him, too many thoughts going through his mind. He tried to stay calm because this was a battle or nerve more than it was a battle of strength. He didn’t know if Hakyeon was in danger. He was more than sure that Hakyeon was on some kind of mission or something but that didn’t mean he needed help. Hongbin only had to make sure the other was safe, keeping an eye on him from safe distance. Hakyeon wouldn’t need his help he was sure of it too, but something in hongbin’s guts told him that he should be there, as backup. And his guts was always right.

He started the car and drove out of the lot. “where?” he demanded and with a ping his navigation screen lit up.

“left” Chanshik said in his ear piece “turn left, straight till you reach the high way, I’m tracing the rest of it down” there was sound on keys in his ear assuring him he would have the full location soon.

As he sped through the night, all he could think about was what could possibly be Hakyeon doing that he not only hid from him but also lied about. Hongbin wasn’t mad, he would be sad later on, when he was sure Hakyeon was safe but he was curious. Hakyeon never ever did anything without a bigger picture. Hongbin wondered what it could possibly be this time. Something he hid from the younger and stranger yet, in Korea. What could he possibly have to take care of here?

“why aren’t _you_ tracking him down though, it would be a lot faster, I’m a whole ocean away compared to you” Chanshik asked, the sound of chewing accompanied it.

“because my equipment was already sent to be brought back. I don’t have anything other than my phone”

“ahhh, well, I found him. My signal says he’s at the docks, 7 kilometer straight. I can’t get an exact pinpoint, but there are two warehouses on the east side. He’s around those two”

“he sure got there fast” he murmured, “thanks Shikie, I’ll meet you at home soon”

_“sure, good luck” and the line went silent. It was one of the best things about Chanshik, he never asked more than he was told, never prodded for more. He trusted him wholly just like he trusted the other, no questions asked, no doubts raised, no spiked curiosity._


	9. Ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ba!bam!  
I'm sorry for another bad gap, truthfully everything until 60k words, is already written, I wrote it in August last year, after that I wrote like 5k? but the thing with updating/ I just- forget about this fic a lot; so it's okay if you guys drop by to remind me of it.
> 
> EDIT: I beta-Ed it so I'm changing the date. new chapter will come soon ><~

Hakyeon got out of the car a little away from the warehouse. The night was deep and there was barely any source of light on this abandoned side of the docks. The two warehouses in front of him looked like nobody had even looked their way for years, but exteriors hardly ever were right. 

There was no expecting what he would find inside. His mystery contact had found the third and last person for the mission and now they’d be meeting here to discuss the next course of action. Which meant it was already started. They had only 6 months to complete this mission and shut the x-pilot project down. Hakyeon was sure when he took on the mission, he did get promised to get a lot out of this, money was one thing, something he wasn’t greedy for because he had a lot but something he wouldn’t deny either but the x-pilot was in itself very interesting, but the most curious he was of was the prize he was offered 

“something you lost that was quite valuable” they had said. He wasn’t an idiot, this wasn’t some gold bracelet he had lost that was valuable, there was something else they thought he lost, Hakyeon really hadn’t lost anything but that’s why he was here, and well because he was a good soul and this mission would do the world a lot good. 

He crossed the small wooden bridge connecting the two parts of the docks and made his way silently o the warehouse entrance. His eyes on instinct narrowed roaming around to search for any imminent danger and his hand on the gun in his pocket. He hated guns but this was necessary, any other weapon wouldn’t be a good gesture of trust in his partner and a gun was an unspoken exception between people like them.

Looking around one last time, all his senses hyper-aware, he pushed the doors open, the doors creaking in its wake from the lack of use, dust flying all over. 

The inside wasn’t better than there outside. There wasn’t any source of light except the one small corner of the big house where yellow light seemed to be coming from. He closed the door behind him and gripped his gun tighter, holding his head higher and posture straight. He was ready but that didn’t mean he would disturbance his stance. Putting his face in the neutral business but the dangerous mask, he lifted the hatch in the ground where the light was coming from, revealing ladders taking him further down. Not trusting the old wood to hold his weight or be rigged to fall, he jumped, silently landing on the floor, completely straight. 

The inside looked a lot better, dustless, two yellow bulbs hanging on two corners, and a wooden round table in the center of the small room. A few chairs around the table. It gave off a cabin of an old sailor ship kind of vibes, especially with the smell of the ocean and salty water in the area.

On one on those chairs sat Leo, bored and tired. He yawned at the sight of Hakyeon, seemingly not startled by his entrance. In the middle of the table, there was a LVAR device, Hakyeon had seen it before once, it meant their mystery employer would be talking to them through it and every bit of the conversation tonight would be recorded.

“so you’re an actual person and not a cat hybrid huh” Hakyeon raised his eyebrows, standing in the corner instead of the chairs in front. The other man looked at him with a blank face and didn’t reply.

“I’m almost disappointed you aren’t Batman” he grinned, earning no response, just slow blinking. “-now that I’m seeing you in the light” Hakyeon studied the tall man in front of him, whereas Hakyeon was in a suit and all geared up the other person was in some blue skin tight jeans and a light pink cotton button-up shirt, giving him a very soft look if not for the eyes that glow in the yellow light or the scowl that would probably make someone pee in their pants. 

Weird. The man, Leo was weird, Hakyeon decided. Now that he was looking at him more clearly, he had fair skin, silver hair, like Korean or Chinese idols had, he may not be a celebrity but he was pulling the color off just as good, his cat-like eyes were black and small making him look very – beautiful?- feline. He was tall but looked even taller in those jeans. It was clear to Hakyeon that the man was dangerous and good, he had a reputation of himself, but seeing him here, blinking cat-like, wearing a pink shirt, he almost looked harmless and cute... almost. 

If Hakyeon didn’t know better he’d say they had the wrong person for the job but he knew the calm and flat face, the lack of interest and response made the man more dangerous and good at what he did. It meant he wasn’t the kind to chat or play during work. Hakyeon had learned throughout the years, whether it was heroes or villains, the quiet and calm ones were the most dangerous. 

Hakyeon stood there for no more than 5 minutes, looking at the other man in the room who busied himself in tapping a finger on his thigh and starring at a very uninteresting corner of the room before there was static in the device on the table.

“our third member is here, we’ll get started once he arrives” Hakyeon recognized the voice, the voice he’d been talking to on the phone for a while now. It was deep and masked by audio stabilizers, to hide the actual identity of the person. 

None of them said anything and watched the part of the room where a ladder stood silently. At the sound o the hatch opening, Leo sat up more straight and alert, Hakyeon saw his hand go under the hem of his large shirt from the corner of his eye. He wondered if he had the same reaction when Hakyeon entered and settled back before Hakyeon had the chance to see him alert. 

The new arrival used the stairs, careful and jumped from the last steps. For a second they could only see he back and Hakyeon noticed the man’s appearance. He was more suited than either of them, leather jacket, holster, strapped jeans. He was also tall and wide and Hakyeon groaned internally because everywhere he went, everyone was taller than him. The whole process of him jumping and turning around to face them was merely 5 seconds ... but when he did, Hakyeon felt like the ground had been stripped from below him and he was falling, fast and deep. 

_ “Wonshik”  _ did he say that out loud or was it just too loud in his head

_ something you lost that was quite valuable. Your prize _

The ghosts of his past were everywhere.

Wonshik parked his bike by the barrels. The docks were quiet and dark. Wonshik hated deserted places, they were never good. They made him jumpy and jittery but somehow everything ended up leading him to some abandoned house or some scary basement. Why were super-secret people so paranoid with keeping security and choose the darkest and creepiest of places, he never understood. It wasn’t like they couldn’t have this meeting in some more humane place. Dramatic, everyone was dramatically paranoid in his line of work.

He plopped a gum in his mouth and hung his helmet on the handle of the bike. He didn’t work well under pressure or when he was jittery and this place was giving him the heeby jeebies. He tried not to squeak when he opened the ware house’s rusty and dusty gate. It was completely dark inside save for the candle sized yellow light in one corner. 

He tried not to think about all the bugs that could be crawling in the place as he strode through. Checking more than once if some random cockroach made his way to his feet, but it was dark and he wouldn’t be able to see one if it did anyway. 

The warehouse was large enough to park 6 cars in a row but it was empty aside from the long wooden pieces that looked like some kind of pillar on one side and a few wooden boxes that were usually used in shipping but it was safe to say this place hadn’t been stepped in for ages.

The light in the corner turned out to be a hatch, with a dusty handle but the small area of the handle without dust indicated that it had been opened before him. He cautiously lifted the hatch and it went surprisingly easily until the light from the underground room shined on his face. No voices or sound of any kind were coming from inside but Wonshik could feel the presence of humans inside. 

He decided he wouldn’t jump in case it would alarm the ones inside. So he carefully set one foot on the ladder to see if it was stable. Then another and another until he landed on the ground.

He turned around almost expecting to be met with guns to his face or some kind of reaction but all he saw was a room that looked like some kind of pirate ship cabin it the yellow lights and wooden furniture. His eyes fell on a silver-haired man sitting on the chair and Wonshik’s breathe was caught at the sight,. The man was gorgeous, with his beautiful jawline and eyes, his hair giving him some angelic kind of look and body to match those of models. He was sitting cross-legged blinking slowly at him, in his soft colored shirt and Wonshik wondered if he jumped out of a manhwa or something, how can a man be this gorgeous and- mysterious? In the span of few seconds, Wonshik was already curious about this stranger, this mysterious agent who could have been an actor or model but he was here, working under the shadows and blinking at Wonshik. That’s when he realized he was staring, he abruptly turned his face, for all that saved him, and he was already caught staring. The second man in the room was standing by the corner and the moment Wonshik meet his eyes his brain went black. 

Everything stopped 

Was it this dark before. Why was the room so dark.

Why was his head spinning, why wasn’t he already on the floor when his head was spinning like this? 

This was one of his dreams. It was one of those dreams he got in months where he would wake up screaming.

With blood on his hands except there wasn’t any blood just sweat. 

He would wake up but the dream would still be in front of his eyes, playing over and over again. 

A gun. A shot. Blood.

This was not happening. It was not, he repeated in his head. It couldn’t be. No, it wasn’t possible.

_ Hakyeon  _

He was standing there. Hakyeon was standing in front of him. His brain was shouting at him. Hakyeon was there, standing in front of him, his hand on his gun, his expressions schooled and calculated. Just like all those years ago. It was him, the same Hakyeon, the one he killed, the one he shot to kill. His mentor, his brother, , his first love, his everything for as long as he remembered. The man who took him out of the dark abandoned alleys and held his hand so tight that when he let go, he left wonshik imprinted, but it was necessary because if he didn’t hold tight, Wonshik would have fallen. The same Hakyeon who turned a hopeless and broken Wonshik into someone who was in control of his life. The same man that was his everything for so long and the same man he shot because he was a failure because he fell into a trap. The Hakyeon who’s beautiful face haunted his last six years, in every dream and reflection, in every smile he saw Hakyeon, in every mirror he saw him, the same Hakyeon was here, in front of him.

Older but the same. taller but beautiful as always.

Wonshik doesn’t remember how long he stood there staring expecting his legs to give out at any second and his brain to shut down but they didn’t. he was still standing and his brain wouldn’t shut down, wouldn’t spare him from this pain as he stood there in front of everything he regretted, in front of the biggest loss of his life, his biggest mistake, his biggest fear. 

“take a seat gentlemen, we’ll start the briefing” a voice sounded in the room snapping him out of his daze. Neither of them had spoken, he looked around to find the source of the voice. It was a device on the table. Hakyeon moved, dragging a chair to the table and sat down on it. Graceful as always, fluid in his movements as always. Wonshik stood there, unsure whether to run back from where he came from so he wouldn’t have to suffer this torture,  _ oh  _ but he missed Hakyeon. he missed him so much, longed for him for so long. He didn’t deserve to, he didn’t deserve to even look at the other’s way yet the universe still lead them both to the same room, the same table. It was cruel, fate… it had always been cruel for Wonshik. 

Did Hakyeon recognize him? He wondered starring at the older, he certainly didn’t show any signs. If he did he would have probably shot him by now. Only fair payback, Wonshik deserves way more than just that. 

“agent Ravi? “ once more he jumped at the voice “would you mind getting your head back at the moment?’ 

“W-what?” He looked around in search of cameras, but couldn’t find any. Where could they be even hidden in this small place? He walked over slowly to a chair, and sat down. The silver-haired man was looking at him way too much interest and more facial expressions than he showed before. Hakyeon though, couldn’t care less it seemed. He had his arms crossed on his chest leaning back, looking at the device in the middle waiting for it to speak again. 

“let me do the introductions on your behalf, gentlemen” the man, or women, Wonshik could say because the voice was masked. “but first-“

“project assigned: X-pilot. Status: Unofficial. Stage: primary. Confidentiality: level T.O.P”

Neither of them spoke anything waiting for the status reading to continue. The voice sounded so automatic reciting the specs, but it wasn’t, not really 

“location; Japan, South Korea” 

“wait, I was told it was worldwide” Wonshik questioned, his instructions had told him this mission was a worldwide operation. 

“on the term of the failure of mission or delay, the priority of the mission will switch to worldwide, but for now, it involves the two countries,” the man said “please refrain from interrupting any further, I won’t be repeating anything” Wonshik resisted the urge to scoff at the man’s annoyed tone, settling on once again staring at Hakyeon who was quite immersed in the specs. He hadn’t moved an inch the last few minutes. 

“This is a covert op and any activity or development that transpires related to this mission is of top confidentiality- “ the silver-haired man interrupted the other by groaning in his seat, still not moving from his relaxed position in the seat. Wonshik noticed he was rocking his chair a bit too. 

“We know the gist, we knew what the nature of this work was before we joined. Skip it, we already heard it before “ he said, firm but still uninterested. 

“Okay, if you wish.” The other agreed, almost cheerfully “moving on to you birdies then” and Wonshik cocked an eyebrow at the sudden change of tone. The man went from professional to casual in seconds. 

“I’m agent 37, your handler. I will be in charge of the operation directly and under the radar. You all know the role of a handler so I won’t elaborate on that. I hope I don’t have to remind you that nothing goes past me in this operation”

“Agent N” at the call of his name, Hakyeon straightened in his seat, as if to confirm by this motion that he was the agent in mention, eyes not leaving the device. 

So Hakyeon had taken a code name after leaving the country. Wonshik remembered how Hakyeon refused a code name before, saying he didn’t want an alias, he liked the thrill of reality,.. he used to say.

“agent N is a field: agent-type, ten years in service, a part of CIA and a former agent of NIS” at the mention of NIS, Wonshik though he saw Hakyeon flinch, his face remained the same stoic, Wonshik’s heart ached a bit, guilt swirling in his system. Hakyeon had always been the best no matter where he was, whether it was NIS in Korea or CIA in America.

So that's where he ran to, America. Wonshik wished he had searched for him, he wouldn’t have found him but at least he would have something to say in front of Hakyeon. Tell him that he tried. But then again he didn’t know he would meet the other ever again, he didn’t know Hakyeon was alive all this time. Alive and still the best

Hakyeon raised his head this time and smiled. At the other man in the room, not Wonshik. It was still beautiful as always his smile. Even though Wonshik was sure this smile was more courtesy than genuine but it still hurt like a knife to the guts. The other man stared at him, unnerved or affected. Hakyeon starred back, the smile turned into a grin. Were they communicating? Wonshik looked between the two to figure out the situation. There was something in both their eyes that spoke of- questions and accusations? 

“what’s agent N’S name, if I may,” the man asked and Hakyeon’s grin turned into a smirk. 

“why kitty cat, don’t trust me still?” Hakyeon mused with too much amusement in his voice to be normal. Wonshik looked at the device confused, waiting for the magic box to solve the mystery. 

“I cannot trust someone who I know nothing but a single letter name of” Wonshik watched the other’s man’s face turn dark and that’s when he knew he wouldn’t be messing with this dude, he looked like he could devour 3 Wonshik(s) for breakfast with that glare. 

“his name is Brian Lee, now stop bickering, _ seesh! _ I’m stuck with kids” and Wonshik once again stared with bewilderment at the  _ nagging _ tone of the man, how did he change moods so quickly, he sounded like grandma scolding the kids 

“since N is a field agent, he’ll be the one in front. Moving on, Agent Leo_” ah so that was his name, not  _ a grey-haired deadly dude _ . “beware, kids, he bites” and Wonshik almost laughed at the joke 

“agent Leo, real name Jung Taekwoon, 7 years in service, was a resident spy in North Korea for two years, he’s now the operative commander, think of him as the eagle eye of the team, he has never missed a shot before so he’ll be doing all the shooting” and then he made  _ phew phew  _ sounds, making Wonshik smile this time. He was quite the character. but he thought he was supposed to be the shooter in the team, he was after all, the sniper. 

“our Leo has a very good rep, he’s the only spy to make it out of North Korea alive in the last decade,” he said it like it as something prideful for him but Leo remained indifferent, and if Wonshik wasn’t good at reading people he wouldn’t have noticed his eyes changing at the mention of North Korea. Figures. Anyone who went to the north and came back alive was probably a bit shaken up or affected. Some parts of this job left scars. Wonshik knew all too well. 

Some of them never recovered from those wounds. Some physically some mentally. A man losing a leg or hands wasn’t really shocking news in this field, neither was a man losing his sanity. Some never recovered. Wonshik could relate at some level, he suffered from his own trauma disorder. 

The last time he held a gun without the weight of it bearing him down was six years ago, he wouldn’t- couldn’t hold one without guilt or fear again- 

“And finally Kim Ravi” at the mention of his name he snapped out of his thinking bubble, suddenly not sure what to do, either to stand up and bow or remain unmoving like the other two. But he settled on being his mannered self despite the example in front and quietly said a “nice to meet you all” which earned no reply, as expected. 

“ten years in service and he’s a walk-in government operative. Mr. Kim has a lot of skills up his sleeves and is a very good assassin too” Wonshik jerked up at the mention, his assassinations were quite well-kept secrets, or so he thought. 

“If he’s a walk-in agent, that means he’s expandable” Leo said eyeing Wonshik and Wonshik saw the corner of his mouth quirk up, was he teasing?

“technically, this isn’t an official; mission so you are all expandable but yes, if we need to push someone off the plane, then we’ll expand agent Ravi“ 

“hey!” Wonshik huffed, almost childish “I’m, gonna hate working with you all” 

Hakyeon smiled, amused.

It wasn’t like Wonshik had a choice anyway.

Hongbin almost wanted to drop right in, from his position of hanging halfway through like a Bat, and shout at the three men in the room, or more specifically Hakyeon. why in the world was Hakyeon doing a non-official mission with a bunch of strangers,  _ without Hongbin! _ He listened with one hand on his earpiece, kneeling at the half-opened hatch, where he slid his radar to listen in on the conversation clearly.

this was not what he was expecting when he drove here, he certainly wasn’t expecting Hakyeon to be discussing a mission he would carry out in Japan, and a really fun one at that. 

When he had parked his car and saw a man getting off his bike, making it easier for him by just following the man in the warehouse, he expected Hakyeon to be in an uncomfortable situation or tied to a chair or even losing at a game of poker! This was just not what he had in mind. 

“so, you and Leo are taking tomorrow’s flight to Paris, I have an informant there who will give us some codes to enter the base easily. As I said before, the man is kinda a stubborn dick head, he owns a club so you’ll have to meet him here, let’s go over the details later in the plane, but you’ll basically just have to get in with the fake ID’S and find the man. They are kinda picky on who they let in the club so make sure to dress appropriately and act convincingly to get in because otherwise there’s no way he’ll meet us, and we need that god damn code” the computerized voice rang in Hongbin’s ear which he assumed was a live transmission or a 

phone call. 

“Eric Nam” Hakyeon’s voice hummed. “I think I’ve heard of him before” 

Hongbin had heard of him too, he was quite the character. 

“I bet you have, he’s been in this business for long and is quite useful an ass but useful”

Eric Nam was an MI6 agent turned bad, people said he broke out of confinement several times and laid low every time, so they just toned down the search for him since he wasn’t really making trouble. Stupid of the Brit government, Hongbin thought. He clearly was still in the game

“Ravi will be taking tomorrow’s flight to New-York. There’s a man living in the city, I’ve been told he was the first engineer on the X-pilot project, but ran away, don’t know why but he may be useful so we're gonna try our luck” 

If Hakyeon knew he wouldn’t be going home tomorrow why hadn’t he made an excuse by now to him, this was a big project and Hakyeon still hadn’t shown any indication that he would be working, no cover story, no lies. They even packed already and Hongbin and Hakyeon were set to leave for new-york themselves in the morning. What was Hakyeon planning? Hongbin suddenly wanted to be mad at him, despite his brain telling him that there was a reason Hakyeon was hiding this whole thing still. 

What could it be that the older had kept him in the dark by going to such long lengths? 

The voices in his ear were coordinating and planning their flights and missions ahead but all Hongbin could focus on now was Hakyeon. On  _ why  _ he was doing this, and on  _ what _ he was doing.

The movement of chairs indicated that they were done and would come out soon so Hongbin pulled the wire of his device and quietly shut the hatch. His mind was a swirling mess of questions. He made his way out of the warehouse and walked to the other side of the docks. And all he could think of, while he climbed the tower behind the other warehouse, hiding behind the roof vents, was a way to  _ protect _ Hakyeon, either head-on or in the shadows. 

He wouldn’t be doing either any other day, but something in his stomach kept nudging at him that this was all gonna turn into something bad ever since he left the hotel. He hated it. 

The three men exited the warehouse at once, all on their guard, judging from their postures. once they were sure that no one was there, one of them walked to the bike parked on the side of the house. Hongbin couldn’t make out the faces in the dim coast lights but he knew Hakyeon started walked a different direction from the other two. The man on the bike had already left, zooming his tires way too loudly. The other one had walked behind the warehouse and Hongbin briefly saw a car turn to the main road that leads them to the highway before he turned his focus to Hakyeon. there was apparently a car parked on this side, which Hongbin hadn’t seen because it was behind the shipment containers 

Hongbin watched in silence, careful not to make any sound on the roof or to cast any shadows. Hakyeon was silent too as he got into the passenger seat of the car? And not a moment later sped out the main road.

Hakyeon was here with someone? Hongbin had wondered briefly how he got here if he didn’t take the car. It wasn’t the time or the place to be riding a cab, but he was more occupied with other stuff to dwell on the thought.

Apparently, someone drove him here, someone who stood by the last hour and didn’t join the little secret meeting but was probably in on the whole thing. Hakyeon never took risks and the chances of him trusting someone in this country to let them drive him were slim to none.

Hakyeon was hiding something- someone from his little band of pirates. 

This just kept getting more dangerous 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was having the thought the other day, that this story is extremely cringy and compared to the Fantasy AU collab I'm writing, this is in very basic English too. Like it's- low quality writing , I just- write it y'know, not caring about how weird, wrong or incorrect my sentences are but it make me happy . This story makes me happy, and I originally wrote this for myself so I suppose as long as it keeps making me happy right? 
> 
> It's not worth writing if it doesn't make you happy :) that's what I feel.  
So, the people who keep up with me and my crazy writing and ideas, thank you.


	10. a thousand fireflies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter rated M, for non-explict smut in the last scene. 
> 
> (in tiny font) yayyyyy finally there's some chabin action. savor it, there wont be any more for another 30k words

Wonshik drove through the city at maximum speed, tearing the wind and leaving behind everything. It was the best part of night, the empty roads. There wasn’t any traffic and the wind always left a sense of freedom in Wonshik’s head. The way his hair flew in the air, and his jacket rustled against the pressure– he loved that feeling– the feeling of freedom and being young.

Hakyeon. Hakyeon was alive. Wonshik never thought he would see the older man again, but there he had been, bright as the sun and beautiful, shining like he used to; his beautiful half-moon shaped eyes still shined, whether he was smiling or not. Just being in the same room with him filled Wonshik with so much energy and warmth. Hakyeon always had that effect on people. Whenever Wonshik was near him he felt this odd kind of reassurance, something he didn’t know he needed; a kind of safety. He felt safe, had felt safe with the older, the kind of safe that would allow him to jump off the roof with the reassurance that he would be okay, somehow… because Hakyeon was there. _He would catch him,_

Wonshik always knew, depended on the fact that whatever he did, it would be okay because Hakyeon was there to guide him, fix his mistakes, mend hid broken pieces, treat his wounds, like an all cure pill.

And being in the same room with him again, even after all those years of being away, and all that guilt and regret loaming over Wonshik’s head, he still felt safe. He felt safe and warm in that suffocating small room today. Like it would be okay, like all the sins and wrong deed he did would be forgiven now, because Hakyeon was back. It was stupid he knew Hakyeon may or may never forgive him; even if he did Wonshik would never be able to forgive himself. Yet, still he felt like he was safe once again, that if Wonshik would fall right now, jumped off the cliff this instant, Hakyeon would catch him before he hit the pavement.

_Stupid._

Hakyeon wasn’t there for him this time, not after he ruined what they had; after he broke Hakyeon’s trust, after he betrayed him like that.

Hakyeon’s brown eyes still haunted Wonshik to this day, whenever he closed his eyes, he would see those eyes, _looking at him with confusion, his mouth slightly open as his knees buckled and he fell to the ground._

_A gun shot,_

_A gasp,_

_Those eyes, in silent question,_

_Why?_

_Why Wonshik?_

_The words ringing in his ears, echoing_

_“Let me help you,”_

_“Shik,”_

_Blood_

_A stream of blood, dripping without stop_

_His body hitting the ground._

_Eyes still open,_

_Still looking at Wonshik,_

_Silent questions. _

_Question he couldn’t answer,_

_Eyes still filled with sympathy and confusion_

_The voice in his ear saying “good job”_

_He didn’t hear it,_

_“collect your boy at the Han bridge”_

_Sanghyuk,_

_Need to save him now_

_‘I shot Hakyeon, I shot Hakyeon, I shot him, I sho–’_

_“I’m sorry Hakyeon”_

_He cried. He didn’t deserve to cry, didn’t deserve to touch him, to kneel in front of him, he didn’t deserve it_

_Hakyeon’s body was cold in his arms_

_gentle. He was gentle,_

_Lifted him up. _

_Gentle after sending a bullet through his body_

_Pulse–_

_Breathing_

_He was still breathing,_

_He shouldn’t be breathing, the shouldn’t know he didn’t kill, (he would never,)_

_They cannot know he was still alive,_

_Needed to get Hakyeon out of here,_

_Somewhere far,_

_Really far,_

_He wouldn’t say goodbye,_

_He didn’t deserve to say goodbye,_

_“Agent, are you listening_,” the ear piece in his ear tore through his thoughts.

“I am,” he hated that voice in his ears,

_“How did it go?”_

“Like you said it would, smoothly,”

_“Did he tell you to take the flight for tomorrow?”_

”yes,”

_“Did you meet the team,” he_ asked smug, there was amusement in the voice, Wonshik hated the man with every fiber of his being,

“You knew didn’t you, about Hak- about N” he growled.

_“Of course I do, there’s hardly anyone in this business who doesn’t, the story was quite the talk of the town, but don’t worry, people only know the story, not the names or the faces,”_

“Clearly you know all of it”

_“I do, and you’ll be quite amused to hear this next piece_,” venomous laughter resonated from the other side,

Wonshik growled “I swear to god if you lay a finger–“

_“Behave, puppet!”_ warning tone _“it would do you no good to swear at me,”_ Wonshik could practically feel the smirk, the smugness in his tone,

“You target, from last week–” the man started and Wonshik’s stomach turned at the words “–were your precious agent and his boyfriend,”

“WHAT?!” Suddenly, Wonshik couldn’t see, everything become a blur, and his head as spinning, somewhere deep inside, the anger started creeping up,

Laughter once again ”_that’s right, they were your target,. Cha needed a little push to join, and you delivered the message pretty well”_

“_You’re telling me you made me point a laser to Hakyeon’s head when you knew about us?!”_ he shouted no longer caring who would hear him. His hand on the handle of his bike tightened enough that it would break if any more force was applied. His ears were fuming red and all the pent up anger from last month, _being pushed around while they used his sister to control his actions, toyed with him_, was swirling like a tornado inside him. It was a blessing there were no people around where he had parked or he would have shot someone in blind rage.

_“oh, sweet, be thankful I didn’t have him killed, it would be too much to have on your conscious the second time now would I,t”_ Wonshik said nothing, instead he lifted the helmet and threw it at the nearest wall. It broke into two pieces and the glass shattered loudly.

_“Now listen up, the lead in New York is an excuse. And before you ask, no, you handler doesn’t know about it, he’s as much as a puppet as you are,”_ so they were all playing this psycho’s game, Wonshik felt a bit of relief, a stupid relief that at least he would be able to feel sympathy for all his partners.

_“You’re following the boyfriend, you’ll meet the engineer there but your priority is the boyfriend, the old man won’t be much useful any way. The boyfriend, will be leaving for New York tomorrow and you’ll take the same plane as him. Keep an eye on him for the next three days, to make sure he doesn’t interrupt. He’s smart and too good. If he catches fire of this, he might work his too smart brain to see behind the curtains. Hakyeon will probably come up with a cover story and hide as much as he can but I don’t trust him, he’s soft especially for him, so make sure he stays out, he’s a thorn but I rather not have him eliminated”_

Wonshik felt sick. All of it was wrong. He wanted to vomit.

_“make no mistake”_ the line went silent.

He was spying on Hakyeon all this time, without knowing it. He thought it was some tourist, rich or important. He didn’t know anything it seemed. He didn’t know how big this whole thing was that he was caught in. he thought that after a while when they had him finish him dirty work he would be let go, his sister would be free. Wonshik already planned and arranged ahead to send her to another country.

He didn’t know that he would be once again forced to hurt Hakyeon,

And now, he was being sent to spy on Hakyeon’s _boyfriend. The psycho said Hakyeon’s boyfriend._

Something hurt inside his chest. Was it a pin poking his heart? Why did it hurt like that at those words?

Of course Hakyeon had a boyfriend. He was always so good to people. He was such a beautiful and kind soul that of course he would have a healthy and stable relationship.

What had Wonshik expected? For Hakyeon to be single and craving for love and affection like he once did. Like he once used to enjoy Wonshik’s love and affection,

What was he expecting? For him to welcome him back with open arms and forgiveness on a plate

He didn’t deserve forgiveness. No. not even if Hakyeon offered out of the good heart he has.

All Wonshik did was hurt and damage him,

He spied and threatened him; now he was gonna spy on his boyfriend. Someone he held dear and close, someone who made him happy, someone who healed his wounds and cuts that Wonshik had inflicted,

He would be doing just more damage to his life

Wonshik didn’t deserve forgiveness

He would make sure he was never forgiven. But he would make sure to put a bullet through the bastard’s head that made him hurt Hakyeon. He would make him suffer and everyone with him, just like he did- to the people who hurt Sanghyuk before. He would make them all pay.

The night breeze was cold, so cold even in mid-June. The skies were decorated with stars, shining down on the city without a single care about what is happening below them.

Hakyeon had asked to be dropped off here; he didn’t feel like going back. He didn’t have the strength to face Hongbin, not when his mind was so occupied by the events of the night. He ignored the urge to take his shoes off and feel the wet sand underneath his feet. The waves made soft sounds as they hit the shore, in their regular rhythm, _one after the other, one after the other_. The lighthouse far between the water kept shining steadily, its light illuminating the water.

Hakyeon stood there, thinking back on the last few hours and he couldn’t grasp the situation still. What had happened-

It wasn’t hard to believe, he always knew Wonshik would still be active, given his nature, he often wondered if he was dead, and _even after everything_, he was glad to see him alive and well today.

Hakyeon knew the younger had recognized him; his shock filled reaction was a dead giveaway. While Hakyeon had managed to maintain a stoic face and held his nerves together after seeing the younger, Wonshik had done exactly the opposite.

Thankfully though, he stayed quiet. Hakyeon smiled at the thought. His Wonshik got mature. If this was still 2008, he would have pounced on Hakyeon and crushed him into a bone breaking hug, maybe even cried. Wonshik had always been a softie and a sucker for physical affection.

Hakyeon wondered, looking at the waves from where he stood, in how many ways had Wonshik changed. Did he still snore like a truck, was he still afraid of bugs, did he still bite his nails. Did he still jump head first into a situation and got scolded on a weekly basis.

Who defended him now, in front of superiors now that he wasn’t with him…

It didn’t seem like he was still the reckless and stubborn teenager he used to be, if tonight was any indication.

Wonshik hadn’t hid his surprise and expressions in anyway, Hakyeon watched him stare at him throughout the meeting, making it almost impossible for Hakyeon to concentrate. The constant eyes on him felt somewhat akin to scrutinizing. Hakyeon felt small, he didn’t like it one bit... It was Wonshik, he used to know Hakyeon inside out but today, he just felt small, exposed, and weak.

He felt like Wonshik would be able to see past his walls, find cracks, and see all that he hid.

And somewhere in the deep of his mind, he was afraid of being hurt by Wonshik again.

Hakyeon was angry. He was angry at Wonshik when he shot him six years ago, he didn’t listen to the voice of reason in his head. The one that said Wonshik had a reason, how Wonshik’s face expression changed meant someone was threatening him or someone close to him, how Wonshik hadn’t aimed at anything fatal. Hakyeon knew he was supposed to kill him but he didn’t, he knew the younger enough to know Wonshik had taken a risk at something.

Hakyeon remembered when he woke up, he was covered in bandages and lying at a rickety bed on a ship.

It was Wonshik, who got him away, he was told that much. At first he didn’t understand why Wonshik would do that, send him away, then later when he arrived in Europe, he found out he was labeled as a traitor, some contacts told him his company thought the turned. And it made sense that Wonshik sent him away, he _was _supposed to be dead after all.

It hurt; the betrayal, the distance, and the memories. It took Hakyeon years, to accept that Wonshik had no choice in what he did.

It took him years to get rid of the nightmares too. Hongbin helped in the process.

Hongbin–

He held Hakyeon whenever he woke up sweating. He held him when he would be having a breakdown. He stayed up with him when he couldn’t sleep,

Even if they weren’t anything more than good friends back then.

Hongbin needed mending of his own– it was almost funny, how they were both broken but couldn’t fix themselves up on their own. Both needed the other to be put together.

And put together they did. It took time and trust and eventually love, on Hakyeon’s part but they managed to heal each other’s wounds.

And Hakyeon knew, even if they didn’t started dating, or got into an intimate relationship at all, nothing between them would be different. Even if they broke up today, nothing would make his love and care for Hongbin less… and somehow, he knew Hongbin felt the same way.

The trust they had between them was way too strong to be broken by anything.

Then why was Hakyeon hesitating –

He took his phone out, pressing the speed dial #1 with shaky hands. He hated lying to Hongbin, yet he couldn’t think of anything else to do. And he didn’t want to tell the truth, for more his sake than Hongbin's

“hello?” Hongbin's voice echoed in his ear. He despised this, he knew that he would have to do this when he accepted this mission, but it didn’t make it any less hateful. Hongbin deserved better than being lied to. And now that Wonshik was back into his life, Hakyeon felt worse.

“Binnie,” he sighed softly, chest warming at the familiar voice.

“What’s wrong , hyung, is everything okay?” Hongbin sounded worried, Hakyeon hated himself even more. “Should I pick you up?”

“no, I’m okay, I just missed you,” it was true, now more than ever he wanted Hongbin to be with him, without any worries he just wanted to curl up to the younger and hug him until everything was over.

“Hyung- “ Hongbin chuckled lightly “did you drink? Why are you being sappy, it’s been just 3 hours,” he loved his sweet, sassy, beautiful Hongbin so much, Hakyeon sighed. He really hated having to lie to him but the only way he could avoid it was to bring Hongbin in on the mission and if he was against the idea before, Wonshik’s appearance had just made him more sure that he didn’t want them together in the same room. It wasn’t over protectiveness towards Hongbin or fear of Wonshik hurting Hongbin. He just didn’t think he would be able to survive two men, who knew his life like their own, being together. It wouldn’t do well to his sanity.

He also didn’t want Hongbin, the only best thing left of his life, to know about the dark of his past. Hakyeon never kept anything from the younger, but his last days in Korea. There wasn’t any particularly big reason, Hakyeon just didn’t want to think about it most of the times and wanted to keep the darkness away from their relationship and Hongbin as much as he could.

“I didn’t drink, Binnie. I just miss you” he sighed, organizing his next words “I’m at the beach… would you join me?”

“Okay” the younger man agreed, never asking why, he was always there when Hakyeon called, no questions or reasons asked.

“It’s beautiful here, I want to share it with you,” Hakyeon could hear shuffling, the sounds of steps, Hongbin was already on his way.

“It’s cold but it feels nice” Hongbin hummed, Hakyeon heard the sounds of engines starting.

Few minutes of silence, Hakyeon kept walking,

“You should learn to swim, I want to go to the beach for a vacation sometimes,” Hakyeon walked along the shore, one hand in his pocket, eyes following the water.

“I hate water,” it was the same answer as always.

“water makes me feel – alive.” Hongbin chuckled, Hakyeon smiled.

“That was weird, hyung,” Hakyeon could hear the sound of Hongbin car on the road. Neither of them bothered to end the call, they did this often, stayed on the call until the one reached the other, their conversation continuing when they got together.

It was one of Hakyeon’s favorite things to do. Hearing the younger’s voice filled him with longing and anticipation every time and it felt so good when Hongbin was in front of him after that. It was the same other way around, Hakyeon going to Hongbin, until he was there with the younger. It felt like coming home…every time.

“You’re right, it did sound weird” Hakyeon reworded his point “I think it’s the ocean, it makes me feel fresh and alive, like a bird, the breeze here makes me feel like I’m flying” Hongbin hummed, he was always good at listening, even if he didn’t quite understand Hakyeon at times. “I don’t feel like that other than when I’m dancing,

“you should get back to that,” Hongbin suggestion, Hakyeon hummed in agreement.

More silence.

“I miss it, it’s been a while,” their talk continued in silent soft whispers, leisurely, Hakyeon kept strolling on the sand, waiting for Hongbin, he really missed the younger. It was just another of those days for him, when he just wanted closure.

“I always wanted to dance on the ocean, barefoot in the wet sand” Hakyeon had thought about it often, the idea was always so appealing but he never got around to it.

“It would be nice, something like ballet?” Hongbin suggested, Hakyeon hummed, softly, the only other sound being the waves and the silence of the night.

“dance for me today, hyung?’ the sudden request surprised Hakyeon a little, something hurt inside him, at the soft tone in which Hongbin spoke, there was something else in the request Hakyeon couldn’t decipher, something that made him sad.

“I’m not dressed appropriately” he argued despite wanting to fulfill the request, to dance for the love of his life, to make Hongbin happy , Hongbin rarely asked anything from him.

“you would be beautiful at it still,” the soft silent way Hongbin spoke made Hakyeon think of sad things, for some reason their conversation felt like it was a parting one, like they wouldn’t be together after tonight, a feeling similar to two lovers saying goodbye without actually saying it. Hakyeon’s eyes got wet, he knew he was just depressed and upset today and it wasn’t true but his throat still clenched as he fought back sobs.

“you trust me, right?”

“always,”

“and you know I will always protect you, right?”

“I know, hyung,”

“you won’t hate me if I can’t tell you something now, but I will tell you later I promise,”

“it’s okay hyung, you can take your time,”

Hongbin never asked why, Hakyeon knew he was overly sensitive at the moment and Hongbin knew as well. If it was any other time Hongbin wouldn’t have put up with his sappiness and made a joke on his verbal affection, but Hongbin listened, humming and answering because he knew Hakyeon needed it sometimes, he never judged Hakyeon’s show of weakness.

“I won’t be able go back tomorrow” Hakyeon blurted out, unable to keep it in anymore, it was better than saying it face to face anyway,

There was silence on the other side.

Each second felt like forever until finally Hongbin spoke, “do you want me to stay?”

“no,” Hakyeon sobbed, silently.

“okay” his boyfriend replied softly then spoke after another minute of silence “when will I see you again?”

Hakyeon had no answer to that question, if he didn’t get his way, he wouldn’t be able to see Hongbin for the next six months but he wouldn’t allow that, for selfish reasons, he couldn’t stay away from Hongbin for so long, he wouldn’t.

“maybe once a month?” he said, hesitantly, afraid of the reaction

“until when?” he was always so understanding and trusting, Hakyeon always knew Hongbin was too good for him,

“the end of the year,”

“I hate this,” there was no bite or actual hate in the statement, just sadness and complain. Hakyeon hated how supporting Hongbin was being, he almost wanted for him to shout some which he never did, but it would sooth Hakyeon’s conscious a bit to get shouted at.

“I know- me too,”

“You never tell me anything,” Hongbin mock whined, playfully teasing. Hakyeon imagined him kicking his feet like a kid and pouting, an adorable image.

“hyung is sorry” Hakyeon cutely said back, some of the tension getting replaced by warmth. It was funny how Hongbin managed to change his moods with one simple ayegyeo filled joke.

“I know, you’re the worst” Hongbin replied with partly playfulness

“I love you” Hakyeon said the words he often avoided, to not make Hongbin uncomfortable, but they were always at the tip of his tongue, it was just one of those times he couldn’t keep them in. He _needed_, Hongbin to know, today more than ever that he loved him, would _always _ love him

“I know,” Hakyeon turned around at the voice, coming face to face with Hongbin, standing there smiling, his hand dropping from his ear as he mindlessly pocketed the phone, looking into Hongbin's eyes and smiling back,

“Always” he murmured, letting Hongbin wrap him in his arms, his face buried in the younger’s chest. Hakyeon finally let his tears falls, trusting the man he loved the most to mend him later.

When Hongbin got Hakyeon’s call he was almost at the hotel, he had sped through the way to get back faster and avoid all sorts of contact, any run-ins with Hakyeon. He planned to pretend and sleep when Hakyeon got home because he honestly didn’t know if he should confront the older about the night’s events or not. He hadn’t expected this when he decided to follow Hakyeon, and now after hearing all of it, it all felt big and scary.

There was a reason why Hakyeon didn’t want him involve but Hongbin didn’t want Hakyeon to be involved either…his gut told him there was trouble in this whole ordeal.

When Hakyeon’s sob sounded through the phone Hongbin sped through the quite highways of Seoul, not caring in the least if he was breaking speed limits, he zoomed past the trees and constructions to reach the other side of the city as soon as he could.

Hakyeon’s voice sounded weak, it was a rare occurrence, he sounded like on the verge of breaking down and collapsing and Hongbin would be damned if he let the _only_ man he cared about, collapse to his knees, not before he didn’t try his damned best to reach there before Hakyeon hit rock bottom.

Hongbin spotted Hakyeon as soon as he stopped the car; the man was walking on the shore line, close to the water and taking small slow steps forward. Hongbin slid through the sandy hill and started walking fast to closer the distance between him and Hakyeon. He crossed the distance in almost a few minutes and only stopped to catch his breath a few steps behind the other man.

Hakyeon’s shoulders were slumped, his step stumbling like he was dizzy or drunk,

“I know– you’re the worst” he said smiling, failing to keep the excitement of Hakyeon being in front of him from his voice,

“I love you,” Hakyeon confession despite being said repeatedly over the years never failed to surprise Hongbin, he always was cut by those words sharper than any knife or any blow could hurt. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy to hear those words, no. whenever Hakyeon confessed by saying those _three specific_ words Hongbin felt as on air, he knew the love Hakyeon had for him was more genuine than diamonds and the knowledge that this sweet and perfect man loved him made him feel like he had the world in his hands and he loved it. Even in the back of his mind he was guilty of his emotions and confused about his heart.

“I know,” he managed to reply, hoping his insecurities and doubts didn’t show in his voice. Hakyeon stopped in his track, turning around to smile at Hongbin who automatically smiled back. Hakyeon hiccupped, a tear rolling from his eye and falling on the wet sand under them. Hakyeon took a step forward and Hongbin gathered his boyfriend in his arms, pressing Hakyeon to his chest as the older man buried his face in his neck with a silent “_always” _and right there, right now, Hongbin had everything that mattered in the world in his arms.

Hakyeon didn’t bring the topic up as Hongbin drove them back to their hotel and Hongbin was glad for it because he didn’t know what to make of it. A part of him didn’t want to hide anything from Hakyeon but another part of him was curious. He had already made up his mind to keep a close watch on Hakyeon and his activities so he could be sure the agent was safe and intervene if necessary. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that but he was prepared if it did. Something he learned from Hakyeon over the years- to always be ready for any situation…..and because Hakyeon always had eyes on Hongbin's activities because he was an over protective den mother.

Hakyeon was looking out the window, occasionally closing his eyes to enjoy the night air hitting his face. His hand was clutched in Hongbin’s own, placed on his thigh. Hakyeon had the habit of holding Hongbin's hand whenever he was trying to ground himself, a small action Hongbin secretly loved but whined and complained to the older man every given chance.

“Did you eat?” Hongbin asked silently, not trying to disturb the quiet atmosphere of the night.

Hakyeon shook his head, turning to smile at Hongbin. He rubbed his thumb on Hongbin's knuckles absently. “Did I wake you up?’

“It doesn’t matter, I wasn’t completely sleeping anyway,” Hongbin half lied.

“What do you want to eat, we can stop by somewhere?’

“Whatever is open at this time,” and they both chuckled. Hakyeon seemed more grounded now than before. The pulled at the McDonald’s drive thru and Hongbin ordered Hakyeon’s usual order which the older devoured in the car on the rest of the way.

Hongbin had no idea how it stated but before they could even get on the elevator Hakyeon was sucking on his bottom lip and Hongbin moaned in his mouth as Hakyeon pressed him to the wall. Somehow they managed to get inside the elevator and inside the door but Hongbin was only half paying attention to where he was walking towards. He tossed his shoes off as Hakyeon slowly licked into his mouth, the action lazy and lustful. His hands were already roaming around Hongbin's chest under his soft t-shirt. After he was done with his shoes he lifted Hakyeon up by grabbing his thighs and walked them both inside. Hakyeon didn’t stop as he nipped at his lips and then move downwards to kiss his jaw all while his hands explored Hongbin's body. Hongbin sat Hakyeon down on the kitchen counter and the other man pulled him with his shirt until Hongbin was settled in between his legs. Hakyeon was now licking and sucking all kinds of marks on his neck and Hongbin let out a moan when Hakyeon fingers started playing with his nipples. Hongbin distractedly took off Hakyeon’s shoes and pulled on his dress jacket until it was off. They both stood there as Hakyeon trailed soft and small kisses to Hongbin’s jaw and neck. He guided his hand in his boyfriend’s hair and pulled softly because Hakyeon liked that causing him to let out a loud gasp and he bit into Hongbin's collar bone. He sighed, his eyes rolling to the back as he let Hakyeon lick on the bite and resume sucking hickeys on his neck.

Hakyeon liked it slow most of the time but Hongbin was always quick to get aroused but he knew Hakyeon wouldn’t even pick up the pace if asked, Hakyeon let his stress out this way by making soft and gentle love and Hongbin was happy to help him even though his erection was now very uncomfortable.

Hakyeon looked up and smiled bringing Hongbin back from his daze and he smiled back. He grabbed the older man on his thin waist and gently kissed him, not rushing and Hakyeon sighed, his shoulder’s slumping and his body relaxing into the kiss. And that’s when Hongbin decided to take care of his boyfriend tonight. He let Hakyeon control the kiss, which was, for the first time tonight, moving his lips lazily without pushing his tongue inside. He broke the kiss to smile again and Hongbin would have melted right there if not for Hakyeon’s hands that were wrapped around his neck. Hakyeon gently kissed his eye lids one by one and Hongbin resisted the urge to curl his hands and cringe with embarrassment. Hongbin, even after all those years had trouble taking such gentle actions and Hakyeon chuckled, knowing full well what he had done to the younger.

“my beautiful Binnie,” he pouted and then kissed his nose, Hongbin made a sound and pulled his face back an inch and Hakyeon pouted harder. “You’re so cute. It’s not fair that you don’t let me coddle you,” he pulled him back to kiss both his check and his lips lightly before resting his forehead on Hongbin's.

“you’re already being grossly affectionate, I’m suffering,” Hongbin fake whined and Hakyeon stuck his tongue out. Their breaths fanned over each other’s face in the closeness. Hakyeon was smiling and he had his eyes closed, his hands now loosely on Hongbin shoulder and Hongbin in return softened his hold on the older’s waist.

“I’ll miss you” it was barely a whisper but Hongbin heard it completely. Instead of saying anything he stepped close and hugged Hakyeon’s slim and perfect body _–his perfect dancers’ body_– Hakyeon’s dance tutor used to call it. Hakyeon rested his head on Hongbin shoulder mirroring Hongbin own action and they stayed there for a while.

Until Hakyeon whispered “I want to forget about it Hongbin, can you make me forget about it _please_. I don’t want to think about anything other than _you_ tonight,” and Hongbin gulped at the last words, the way they were said, so intoxicating. Nodding as he detached himself from Hakyeon. He kissed his lips deeply, running his hands on the _dancer’s _back lazily. Hakyeon moaned louder than any tonight when Hongbin slid his hands under his thighs to lift him up once more. He walked them to the bed, Hakyeon legs wrapped around Hongbin's waist all the way. Hongbin sat the other gently on the bed before taking his shirt off

Hakyeon watched him with light in his eyes and impatience as the younger got rid of his jeans, folding it casually and setting it aside. He then turned his attention to the smaller man and smiled; Hakyeon mirrored the smile and pulled Hongbin from his waist, burying his face in Hongbin's stomach. Hongbin ran his fingers gently in the smaller man’s hair and Hakyeon turned jelly at the motion

Then, after a few minutes, it was so sweetly tempting when Hakyeon nuzzled his way to press hot open-mouthed kisses to his stomach and waist, not neglecting any spot knowing it’s one of Hongbin's favorite acts

“Just you and me tonight.” the other man murmured and Hongbin sank down to cup his face in his hands.

They kissed, slow and easy, Hakyeon tilting his head to deepen it and Hongbin's fingers move to clench in the fabric of Hakyeon’s shirt

The kiss turned into frantic breathing and sweat forming on the tanner man’s forehead as he moaned and their breathing noises are low but heavy.

They parted and Hongbin took his time to admire how Hakyeon’s skin almost glittered in the dim lamp light.

Hongbin took his time in pushing Hakyeon gently back so he’s hitting the head board. He kept up with the kisses as he gently and leisurely unbuttoned Hakyeon’s dress shirt but doesn’t take it off. It was nice view, Hakyeon in that white garment, a small portion of his chest shining his sweat as his chest heaved heavily from breath. Hakyeon didn’t mind it.

Once he got rid of the older’s pants he took a moment to just look in Hakyeon’s eyes, the silent request that shined in them and the desire and love that burned in those brown orbs. Hongbin thought Hakyeon looked beautiful like this.

He gently slipped one finger inside him, not tearing his gaze away from his eyes and Hakyeon whined, arching his back. His blonde, styled hair bounced and his head hit the headboard. Hakyeon’s length twitched when Hongbin hit his prostrate with two fingers and his eyes rolled to the back. Hakyeon looked beautiful like this, his lower lip caught between his teeth as he mumbled and recited Hongbin's name like a mantra. Hongbin gently added the third digit and slowly but calculatedly hitting the right spot inside.

It wasn’t much later that Hakyeon came with a loud scream and a shout of Hongbin's name, as his back arched incredibly high, a trait of his flexible dancer’s body

Hongbin moved forward to hug him, holding his slim waist as he shuddered.

He was gorgeous, nearly impossibly so, Hongbin kissed his temple and watched a single tear roll down from his eye as he smiled at Hongbin. The high made him looks beautiful, suited him, and when Hakyeon whined as Hongbin's fingers slipped out, it was like music to his ears.

“you’re so mean, got me so riled up that I couldn’t even hold for long,” Hakyeon whined and Hongbin chuckled.

“I couldn’t stop myself, I like it when you’re loud,” he grinned, teasingly and Hakyeon swatted at him.

Whereas Hongbin was the quiet one Hakyeon had always been vocal and expressive. Hongbin wasn’t the one to be audile but he loved it when he was the cause of Hakyeon’s screams and moans.

Hakyeon pulled him from his neck for another kiss and tugged at his boxers until Hongbin got rid of them. The older’s hand slipped between them to stroke him but Hongbin swatted his hands away.

“let me do the work tonight,”

Hongbin worked his hand on Hakyeon’s length turning Hakyeon into a moaning mess in another few minutes. He moved their bodies so that Hakyeon was lying underneath him. Hakyeon pushed into Hongbin's hand as he slipped his fingers into the dancer’s mouth, gritting his teeth as Hakyeon sucked harshly on them.

Hakyeon moaned, arching up as Hongbin finally slide inside him.

He didn’t bother with the condom because they were familiar with each other and he knew neither him nor Hakyeon have been with anyone for quite a while now

He kissed Hakyeon again because it was grounding and soft and nice and hearing him whimper underneath him as he adjusted to the change, galvanized him somehow.

It was slow movements, gentle touches, whispered pleas; when Hakyeon begged Hongbin to move he obliged, taking advantage of the way they always fit so well together, to build up a gentle pace even if Hakyeon’s constant chanting of his name as he raked his nails slowly on his back made him want to move faster and harder... He liked this, liked being in charge and making Hakyeon feel good, liked being the one to pin Hakyeon to the mattress and bite his neck, loved the way the spy moaned and breathed, arching into every thrust and clinging to his neck and whispering his name

“Hongbin” one thrust- breathed call of his name

“Hh-Hongb-in” another thurst. A beautiful shout of “AHH”

“bin-ah!” another- “bi-“

“ bin” one more, another set of _“ahhs”_

Hongbin ran soothing circles, brushing a nipple more or less on accident making the spy moan. His

cock twitched again.

It wasn’t often that Hongbin took lead. It is usually Hakyeon who is the one taking care of them because Hongbin liked feeling small and wanted. It was only like this with Hakyeon though- anyone else- Hongbin wasn’t vulnerable for tem- only Hakyeon-

He loved to be held and made love to by Hakyeon but it was just equally as good when its him who makes love. The sensation of being inside Hakyeon kept him on the edge because it was not a usual feeling, it was so rare that it was endearing

Hakyeon clawed at his back “faster, please”

Hongbin kissed him again, moving a bit faster.

“yes, m-more-“

“harder bin-ah, please, more i- “ Hakyeon cried out unable to continue when Hongbin pushed in again. His eyes filling with tears as he moved to meet with the thrusts

“it’s okay, shh, it’s okay” Hongbin cradled his head in his hands and Hakyeon sobbed. Hongbin had a feeling it’s not only from the emotions of the moment or pleasure.

“it’s not okay, please, harder I need more bin, please-“ he begged and Hongbin moved even faster, too fast and hard, he was unable to keep himself in one piece.

“ah, yes, bin, BIN!” the spy shouted, the tears on his cheek entering his mouth. Hongbin kissed his temple gently.

“it’ll be okay hyung, I promise you’ll be okay” he assured, fighting to delay his release as he pushed in hard motions.

“bin-ah!” Hakyeon cried, clinging to his neck and Hongbin held him, moving closer so that he’s sitting. He held Hakyeon in his arms and struggled to keep his pace. “I’ll miss you, I don’t want to make you go”

Before Hongbin could even grasp the sentence Hakyeon moved back, looking into his eyes as he whispered, with ragged breathe. “i- love you”

Hongbin’s eye widened and he snapped. He pushed Hakyeon on his back and thrust harder and faster into him, his mouth leaving small kisses on the spy’s neck then his jaw and finally he kissed Hakyeon, hard and deep. Hakyeon moaned.

After a few more deep strokes Hakyeon shouted “HONGBIN”

Hongbin moved his hands fast on his length and the dancer shouted, again, but this time Hongbin’s name got cut off as Hakyeon came in his hands. Hongbin followed behind, drifting on the pleasure that was getting higher and higher until it crashed over him, holding the smaller man’s body close to his own as they both shudder at the relief.

He laid Hakyeon down gently, wiping his tears with his thumbs and whispered “I’ll be waiting.”


	11. Clear Skies

Taekwoon left the warehouse in long strides, fast but natural. As soon as he got on the road he pressed the paddle to full speed. He wasn’t in a rush to go home at all and pushing speed limits just to clear his head sounded too rebellious. With a though he took a sharp turn until he reached a small apartment complex in a less populated part of Seoul, almost bordering on Incheon. 

Parking his car in a distance he covered his head with a cap and started walking to the building. A thousand thoughts polluted in his head but the most prominent one was N, there were so many things about the agent that made him curious about him unlike anyone else before. He didn’t fail to notice the slight tension in the spy’s body through the night as he would rather be anywhere than here, and the impatience in him, he was trying to leave as quick as possible. To his boyfriend, Taekwoon supposed. Something about that thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, Taekwoon had seen his boyfriend very thoroughly, even before he had met N. he was younger and more beautiful than Taekwoon could put up for comparison. When he spoke there was a slight curl in his tongue that wasn’t any Korean accent, something more like a western touch. He was tall and strikingly beautiful, enough for Taekwoon to be jealous of the man for no more reason than pure complex. 

It was clear to anyone’s eye that the two men were close and knew each other for a long time, this cared for each other yet still, when he had threatened the agent’s boyfriend he had given no discomfort or anger as reactions, he remained unaffected. Taekwoon wasn’t proud of his low approach but he was curious why had the agent not been worried or agreed if he did care about the other man.

Then Ravi, the weak link in their merry band. There seemed to be some kind of history or encounter between the two spies. It didn’t go unnoticed by Taekwoon how they both reacted to each other’s and how Ravi kept giving looks to N the entire night and how N was uncomfortable under the gaze. It was all about body reading, something Taekwoon knew better than anything.

Taekwoon struggled to find a word for this odd curiosity he had for the agent but found none. Was it an attraction? He wouldn’t admit out loud but N was hot, with his perfect body line, slightly tan skin that gave him a manlier look, the golden blonde hair that he had seen both messy and styled, the collar bones which sneaked out of his robe on their first meeting. Everything about the man was appealing and Taekwoon hated himself to feel attached to all of the features.

He shook his head as he punched in the key code to the apartment door.

Making his way inside he shrugged off his coat and took his shoes off. The apartment was the same as the last time he was here.

He moved down the hall, looking around. And stood at a particular door before knocking. When no reply came he softly turned the knob. 

The room on the inside was dimply lit by pink ceiling lights, their conditioning making the room very comfortable temperature. Taekwoon felt a chillwave go through him. The room, the décor, the bed all looked so comfortable and nice ye he didn’t like being in this room at all.

He shut the door softly after himself and went to sit on the dg of the bed/ the sheets rustled beside him as he looked at the sleeping body under them. 

“Babe?” her soft voice, muffled from her hair and pillow came, laced with surprise.

“mhm,” he leaned down to press his lips to her forehead.

“you should’ve told me you were gonna come. Irene replied sitting up in the bed and fixing the strap on her shoulder.

“Sorry, I know I said I was busy today, but I finished just now and decided to come” she smiled, wrapping the sheets around her, shyly covering herself.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t have dinner,” Taekwoon said, softly brushing the hair from her face. “how was recording?”

“long and hard” she pouted and Taekwoon’s conscience hit him once more. The guilt never left. “this comeback is taking a toll on all the members” Taekwoon watched her yawn, blinking her eyes tiredly.

“you should rest’

"But you just got here"-

“Yeah, so let’s sleep, you look really tired”

“Okay, will you stay?” Taekwoon didn’t answer her, instead pushed on her shoulders lightly to settle he back on the pillow. 

As he tucked her in, Irene, Joohyun, looked up with hopeful eyes and Taekwoon decided, settling in the pillows, that he would leave once his girlfriend was asleep. 

-

-

Taekwoon was slightly dozing off as he ran his fingers in the women’s hair gently. This time her hair was dyed baby pink. Jaehwan would have loved the color, he thought to himself. he always loved Irene when she had her hair dyed.

Irene was Jaehwan’s classmate even before she debuted as an idol, she was Bae Joohyun back then, they remained friends after Jaehwan joined the agency and she went on to pursue her dreams. Taekwoon had always watched on the sidelines, happy for his friend but jealous to some degree. He never figured out, even after his two friends started dating, which one he was jealous of. Joohyun? Or his best friend since childhood. 

They were always three. Sure, both Taekwoon and Jaehwan got busy after everything but whenever they hung out, they did it as three, even when Jaehwan dated her, he would drag Taekwoon on their dates. And weirdly, neither of them minded. Taekwoon ended up being the third wheel on everything but he could never find the heart to say no to either of their requests.

When Jaehwan proposed to Irene and she declined, saying she can’t make promises when she’s not sure if her idol life would allow her to keep them, they broke up. On happy terms. . .

But Jaehwan lost himself. 

Day after day

Night after night

He lost himself in the void.

He started shutting himself, staying quiet, running away to places for weeks, running headfirst into danger.

He was hurt and lonely and Taekwoon was left here to gather him and hold him up. 

And so he did

He held him through the nights when he couldn’t sleep, kept him grounded when he went out of control, saved his life when he was in danger. . .

And it wasn’t until Jaehwan kissed him- 

after Taekwoon had dragged him out of the water after they jumped from the plane that exploded. 

Jaehwan was shaking, as he sobbed and muttered  _ sorry _ over and over because  _ it was his fault that the explosives went off because he was in charge of ammunitions and he could have gotten them both killed  _

Taekwoon shook him out of his state and Jaehwan kissed him. . . he kissed Taekwoon but Taekwoon felt nothing…. Nothing at all.

-it wasn’t until their lips met that Taekwoon realized, he felt nothing for the younger man, nothing that wasn’t need and lust

But that didn’t stop Jaehwan from kissing him again, or Taekwoon to allow it.

Besides, it was all just for pleasure and need. They were best friends, a fact nothing could change ever, and Jaehwan was beautiful, attractive, gorgeous and Taekwoon didn’t mind when the younger sprawled under him as he kissed his puffy lips. 

Jaehwan was the same. no strings attached, no feelings involved, he was happy to submit to Taekwoon, they were both lonely after all so they found comfort. . . in each other

The job never gave room for relationships, and after Joohyun Jaehwan never dated, he was never interested. Taekwoon was always against the idea of putting someone on danger because of what he did, so it was all well when they held each other in bed because they both knew they were keeping each other safe.

Until one day- Joohyun called, but Jaehwan and Taekwoon were both already mid-air. She wanted them to get back together, she said she was willing to leave everything for Jaehwan- Jaehwan promised her that he would talk to her again  _ soon,  _ happily smiling into the call.

They both knew _ soon  _ was at least 7 months but like everything else about their jobs, she didn’t need to know that. 

But that didn’t stop Jaehwan from being excited about returning to her, every day for 6 months, he woke up smiling, even without any contact, because they were undercover spies. . . who couldn’t make it back home

Taekwoon had made a promise to his best friend the rainy night he had abandoned him on the street of a stranger country, for the enemy to capture him, that he would keep his  _ flower _ safe... .and even now that Taekwoon finally knew who he was jealous of when watching Jaehwan and Joohyun together, he could never really love her completely. He wouldn’t allow himself to, because she always belonged to someone else, someone he had left behind.

He shifted in his place, closing his eyes and let sleep take over.

He was asleep before he could see the two eyes watching them both from the open window, perched on the adjacent roof, cradling a broken heart and a sad smile-

No, he didn’t see it even when the eyes left hours later, as they did each day.

=

=

The flight was scheduled for 3 in the afternoon but the events of the previous night barely allowed Wonshik to sleep any. He was not just anxious, he was extremely nervous, which wasn’t like him at all. But this wasn’t any situation he had been in before either. The guilt of once again deceiving Hakyeon was eating him inside and he couldn’t help but feel something would go wrong in new york. This whole mission sounded so big, nothing Wonshik had ever taken part of before. He wasn’t a hero; he was just an agent following orders. But now he was pushed into something too big for him and he didn’t have a choice, unlike his other partners he couldn’t walk away from the mission, or maybe they were being threatened too. Was Hakyeon being threatened, who were they keeping leverage? His boyfriend? But he wasn’t a civilian or powerless, was there someone else Hakyeon was trying to protect. Was he being threatened too…

Everything about his situation sucked, he didn’t know anything more than a few sentences. He didn’t know why he was forced to carry this out by someone evil. Why were some bad people forcing him by keeping his sister as leverage and making him save the world? What do they have to gain from this, what are they getting out of it, what does it matter to them if the invisible jet is successful anyways... Or is it all just a cover story…. Suddenly Wonshik felt like he may end up doing someone’s dirty work along the way and not even know it, fuck saving the world, he may just end up handing someone the means to end the world.

He sighed, resisting the urge to run a hand through his styled hair. 

And on top of everything else, he was working with people he knew nothing about. Wonshik couldn’t work with people he didn’t know, Hakyeon and him were close as two people can be, after him, he and Jongin were close partners, after Jongin, Taemin became his partner and he knew Taemin for years before. Wonshik always had a system and way of working, he worked best when he was at ease with the situation, has someone to watch his back. No who had a faceless handler who was one moment all cheerful, the other he was all business, a cat hybrid man who honestly sacred Wonshik a bit and not only because he kept death glaring and stayed quiet but someone who survived the north was god damn dangerous, and Hakyeon. 

Wonshik was happy about seeing Hakyeon again, in fact, happy didn’t even begin to describe what he felt even though he couldn’t be sure what would happen when they would both acknowledge each other, reunion or a fight but he was happy despite everything, the fact that he could see Hakyeon again, often now made him happy but the worries and anxiety of Hakyeon reaction stayed lingering there. Once again, Wonshik never worked well unless he was at ease with everything

Nothing about this assignment was letting up so far 

He took a deep breath preparing for the task ahead. He had already taken care of his boarding process half an hour ago and now sat in the comfortable sofa chair in the lounge. The tickets were first class and while he had traveled a lot and had a good amount of money, it was the first time he was traveling in first class,  _ courtesy of Hakyeon’s boyfriend _ . He rolled his eyes instinctively. 

He was not jealous, he told himself, Hakyeon and he was nothing before and the chances of anything were zero now. Hakyeon always treated him like a little kid brother, despite them being only three years apart, Hakyeon had never shown any indication that he was even remotely interested in Wonshik. Or was into younger men either. Sure during their time together, Hakyeon had dated a few younger girls but the one or two relationships he had with men were older than him or the same age.

Wonshik’s little crush had always been childish and in the years Wonshik came to realize that he loved Hakyeon the same way a student admires the teacher or a fan loves an idol. 

A love that was not necessarily platonic but something unrequited and impossible. Hakyeon had always been like a nigh star sky, so bright and beautiful but so far away, something Wonshik could see and feel but could never touch. 

Yet, despite knowing all that for as long as he remembered, the thought of Hakyeon having a boyfriend made him scoff. The fact that the man was rich and according to what he heard he was - _ smart and too good _ \- good enough to warrant spying on. Wonshik already hated the man’s gut and he had yet to meet him 

His eyes scanned the area, looking past the glass door that separated the normal passenger’s lobby and the first-class area, looking around for his target, he wasn’t given any information on the said man. But there weren’t many first-class passengers and so far only an elderly couple had shown up. Wonshik hoped there wouldn’t be others, so it would be easy to recognize the man.

The clock ticked by until there was a call to board the plane. Wonshik looked around but no one else came. He glanced down at his phone sending a quick text to his “boss”. He looked around in brief glances as he walked to the plane, fidgeting with his phone in hopes of the response to come soon. He had no idea what to do, whether to board the plane without his target or to stay behind. This wasn’t supposed to happen, he wasn’t told of this possibility. 

Checking his phone once more, he climbed the stairs. The first-class section was divided into two, separated by white lace net curtains, enabling one to see past them partially. Wonshik sat down of the second part of the area, he saw the elderly couple from before had taken two of the four seats in the first part. The other two seats were empty and faced in the front but Wonshik could see they were reserved, unlike the two aside him. The newspaper and tissue box on the table indicated that they were booked nut their passenger, who Wonshik assumed was his target was still nowhere in sight.

His phone buzzed making him jump a little as he was immersed in taking in his surroundings. The reply came in one sentence and Wonshik looked at it puzzled

“_Board the plane”_

Yes, he had already done so, but if the man wasn’t here what was the use, what was there to tail for him anymore. He wondered if there was a situation and the target would be taking another flight. The text didn’t give any explanations.

“Not my problem” he murmured, he wasn’t being paid to worry. 

Wonshik leaned back in the chair trying to relax his body, putting on his head-phones he poured himself water from the jug in on the table in front. This favorite playlist blasted in his years and Wonshik tapped his finger on his knee, an old habit, swaying to the beat.

He vaguely registered someone passing by his seat through his closed eyes and entering the other side of the first-class section,  _ the indication being the sound of the beadings of the curtain _ and the announcements of take-off being made but before the Plane even took off he had slipped into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate this story more everyday ugh

**Author's Note:**

> SO- here it is. this is like really slow burn and i'm not even half way through it. there will be no proper schedule update but i'll try not to take forever. 
> 
> a first few chapters will be slow because it'll all be build up, warnings will vary from chapter to chapter (i'll write those in the notes before each chapter dw)
> 
> strap in~


End file.
